[rothfan6]

I was suppose to start T today. I made it as far as the parking lot in front of the office but couldn’t make myself go inside. I waited in my car since I was early but as it got closer to going in I decided I couldn’t do it so I left. What do I do? How do things get better if I bail instead of getting help?

The first step is always the hardest. Call and make another appointment or if you can, go now, go late... it gets easier. You decided you need help and T was the way to go, so bite that bullet and get in there!

[stopdog]

For what it is worth, I do not think this is all that unusual. Reading blogs and books and stuff makes it clear that people often do not show up at the first appointment. The one I see asked me like three times during our first phone call if I really would show up at the appointment if we made one. Good luck on your next try.

[pbutton]

I hate doing new things. I wanted to leave SO SO SO much before my first appointment with T2. I made myself stay. I told myself I was allowed to NOT WANT TO BE THERE as much as I could. But I wasn't leaving because I need help.

Try again. Think of how much better you'll feel having faced this down and gone inside. You'll feel strong and accomplished.

[SoupDragon]

Can you strike a deal with yourself and say you will just go for as long as you feel like staying and if it becomes too much you are allowed to leave?

Well done for getting to the parking lot and good luck for next time - let us know if you want pocket riders. Soup

[pbutton]

We need MKAC in here. I sent her 435 million messages telling her I was in the waiting room & I wanted to leave. I lived through that lunacy, I promise. And now I am used to going there. It's totally do-able.

[rothfan6]

Thanks for all your support everyone. Im going to reschedule once I get up the nerve again.

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Can you strike a deal with yourself and say you will just go for as long as you feel like staying and if it becomes too much you are allowed to leave?

That sounds like a good idea Soup. I need to remind myself this next time, it would at least get me through the door.

[struggling2]

you can do it! you deserve it! baby steps rothfan baby steps! the hard parts are always the most rewarding, i promise!

[Eliza Jane]

Let yourself off the hook. You are certainly not the first person to do this and you won't be the last. Also, just because it didn't work out today doesn't mean you can't do it in the future.

Next time, could you take a supportive friend or family member with you? Perhaps someone who has been to therapy before and can relate to the anxiety you are experiencing?

Or...this is a random thought that popped into my head, don't know if it would work for you or the office set up... could you "practice" just going to the building and walking inside up to her office door. It will make it so you know the layout and know what everything looks like so that there is at least one part that doesn't feel so scary? It's not quite the same, but I used to have terrible anxiety about locating new places, particularly things like therapist offices that were stressful in the first place. The day before, I would practice driving to the place so I would know what to expect, wouldn't get lost and wouldn't have any extra anxiety. Now I just use my GPS.

You can do it! We look forward to hearing about your success next time!!

Best,
EJ

[rothfan6]

I might see if my friend will go with me next time. That would keep me from backing out since she took the time to come with me so it would be wasting it if I didnt go in. Your idea got me thinking Eliza. I might try making my next appt in person. That way like you said I would know what the office looked like and have one less thing to worry about. I know what you mean about trying to find a new place I have that anxiety too. I read over the directions to a place several days in advanced. Knowing what to expect is a big help. There is so many unknowns to therapy, at least it seems that way at the moment, its probably not as scary as I think it is.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by rothfan6

its probably not as scary as I think it is.

Well said. I bet this is true about 97% of the things I am scared of.

I think you've got a good plan. It's all in the planning... and we'll be right there with you.

my first appt was easy to go to, the second one was hell. i made it, there went inside and bailed to my car. t was kind enough to come out to my car to get me. then i graduated to the porch, then a chair in the hallway, .... finally the waiting room and i still hate it.

but going in and talking to t will be worth it and eventually it might become something you look forward too. it can be a healing collaboration. it has saved my life.

there is a saying on pc " twenty seconds of courage "
this has helped me a lot! maybe it will help you.

cannot give credit because i don't know who said it??? whoever you are, thank you!!!!

sorry so long