[layla11]

Im new in therapy and I got a therapist to help me because of depression and I have other problems.
I was in bad shape, and took off work on disability. The second time I saw him he told me he had told his wife something I said. About cleaning out my refrigerator and throwing about some Lea an Perrins worschester sause that was spoiled along with a bunch of other food. I was worried about being poisoned because things in my house wasnt getting done my house was filthy and the refrigerater was just one problem. Any way he told me that he didnt beleive that lea and perrins would spoil and told his wife. He said he checked his and sure enough it was expired.

I didnt like this. then he used the f word a couple times. think he was trying to be cool but I didnt like it. not that I dont use it now in then.

I called the mental health line throu my insurance and was asking some questions about what a clinical phyciatry was, because he kept talking about going to work and what it means to work. well I didnt like this either. Believe me I know how to work and can run circles around his working. Have practically killed myself working. well the mental health line person said why dont you tell him. I didnt like this idea at first and think now maybe its a good idea, or may just drop him and find someone else. I figure he must know something hes a phd. I went to get help for depresstion, not to be told why we go to work.

[sconnie892]

Layla,
I think I would be bothered feeling that my t shared things from my session with others. But did he actually talk about your session or did he just talk with her about the expired food without mentioning you? Either way, you should tell him that the idea of your session being shared with his wife makes you uncomfortable. Same thing with using the f-word. He can't read your mind, so telling him ensures he understands how you feel about these things.

But if you don't think this t is a good fit, there is nothing to say you can't look for another t who might be a better fit for you.

[WikidPissah]

Most people are going to tell you to talk with him about it, which is probably the best solution. I am a cut and run type of gal though, so if you just want to switch to another t without making a big deal about it, that's ok too. It's important to feel comfortable and respected with your t.

[Emptty]

I think you should find a new T. His Phd doesn't mean he is a good therapist, doesn't mean he is unbiased and good at what he does.

You could talk to him but you haven't seen him long and if you don't click it might be easier to switch. Something I didn't know when I first entered therapy... it is so important to find someone who clicks with you, someone you feel comfortable with and "like". This T you're seeing may be great for some people but he might not be right for you. Find your fit, hunt around.. may take time but it's worth the wait.

If you choose to stay and talk to him, good luck. If you talk and still don't feel good about the T, quit and find another who can support and help you.

[layla11]

thank you

[Butterflies Are Free]

He should never have told you that he asked his wife. He could have just said, "Well, I was able to find out something for you", although I am not sure I even understand why he needed to ask anyone. As far as the language, if you feel comfortable bringing it up, that would be fine. If you don't get a good feeling about this guy, go with your gut instinct and find someone else. Please let us know how it goes.

[taylor43]

I would get a new therapist, he should of never told his wife. Sorry but your therapist should keep things between you and him no matter what.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I think, if you've been seeing a T for a while, then it's more beneficial to talk through things and work out what's bothering you.

However, if this is a T you've only seen a few times, and haven't established a relationship, and don't feel comfortable with him, then it's fine to just drop him and find someone else.

I went to one session with a particular T, and we just didn't click...she didn't seem to have a clue what I needed, didn't have patience with me, and didn't seem to understand my personality type. I just chose to never make another appointment, and found someone new. With my current T, whom I've been with for over 3 years, I'd talk stuff out, because I have a strong relationship with her and trust that it's safe to work things out.

[layla11]

Thanks I think the thing that bothered me was he said he didnt believe me when I told him the food expired. Oh, well Im not going to go on about it. I'm going to find a different one. I have borderline tendanceys from what I been told and need someone very patient.

[Crescent Moon]

Those things would bug me a bunch too, Layla. The person who suggested you talk to him about it is right-on. However, it's only worth it to do that if you otherwise have a good relationship with him and see a future in it. If there's too much about him that bugs you and you don't have a whole lot invested, then it makes sense to me to find someone else.

Best of luck with it!