[livie15]

For as long as I can remember, I have bitten my nails- I'm 27, so we're taking 24+years. Since I was about 23, I picked up on a very strange habit- biting skin off my knuckles. DISGUSTING. I have red "knuckle pads" and people frequently ask me what's wrong with my hands, which causes me a lot of anxiety. How do you break bad, lifelong habits?

Hugs!!

[Emptty]

I think the easiest way to break the habit is to first understand why you do it.

Ask yourself, when did it start? When do you do it? When you're anxious, bored, angry, etc.?

You can try to 'cut back', similar to what people do when they quit smoking. If you do it on average four times a day or in a ceertain situation go for three times a day and replace it with something else. Instead of biting, tap your finger on your thigh or breathe deeply.. breathing does help!!

Are you in therapy?
Good luck

[livie15]

Originally Posted by Emptty

I think the easiest way to break the habit is to first understand why you do it.

Ask yourself, when did it start? When do you do it? When you're anxious, bored, angry, etc.?

You can try to 'cut back', similar to what people do when they quit smoking. If you do it on average four times a day or in a ceertain situation go for three times a day and replace it with something else. Instead of biting, tap your finger on your thigh or breathe deeply.. breathing does help!!

Are you in therapy?
Good luck

Yes- I've been in therapy for over a year, but have yet to address this- maybe it's a good time. Thanks for your response!

[autotelica]

I battled hair-pulling throughout college and graduate school (nine years).

After my first couple of years dealing with it (after I had rendered myself partially bald), I did the drastic thing and got a buzz cut. I had long hair and I just lopped it all off. This is totally major thing to do as a black woman, but I was desperate!

It didn't work. My fingers were determined to pull. It got super intense in graduate school. All those late-night term papers to write. All those books to read. I needed the external stimulation, I guess.

One day, I decided I needed to stop. I didn't like how my hair texture seemed to be changing at the site of the pulling, and my hair was too short to hide all that mussing I was doing. So I adopted the habit of wearing hats and scarves the moment I'd get home from school. It was much easier to not pull if everything was covered up. Sure, I could have removed the covering, but then that would have taken conscious action. And I was conscious about not pulling my hair!

Strangely, shortly after I got a handle on my hair-pulling, I developed stereotypies and tics. Indicating that there's an underlying brain thingie behind it all. I will probably need to start taking meds soon as they are getting worse and much harder to control. Oh well. At least I have a gorgous head of hair now!

My recommendation: gloves. Get those stretchy gloves they sell for a dollar at Target. Maybe that will help, at least in the short-term.

[rainboots87]

I'm sorry and don't mean to offend, but is there any way to add a trigger mention before this post? I read about a line and immediately had to close the thread. I popped back in to see about adding a trigger. I can't read about things of this nature, which totally on me. I do wish you the best though and I hope you find the help you're looking for.

[Silent_tsol]

My nail biting expanded to all the skin around the nail. I find that once I started getting...less uncomfortable with t it started to go away. We didn't talk about it much directly, I mentioned it and she saw some pretty bad fingers (and didn't spray me with pepper spray or holy water).

I did buy gloves that I write at night. Just a cheap, light pair I got at the drug store in the bath section. I also put a container of silly putty in my purse that I played with whenever I noticed one our both if my hands weren't fully occupied.

The hardest part I found about trying to combat this was there want a point of feeling an urge to do it. All I needed was attached to me so it would already be done before I noticed. (although there were sometimes I would get into a trance doing it) but the key was to predict the trigger because it's harder to fight once it comes up.

Now August is a bad month for me, t is on vacation and school is starting in September so I've "relapsed" some

[Shishkeberry]

I don't know. I have the bad habit of cracking my knuckles. I don't know why I started, but I remember doing it as young as six. My stepfather hated it and used to physically punish me when I did it around him, but I still didn't stop. I'm 29 now and I still do it multiple times a day.

I think many of us turn our pain onto ourselves , hence knuckle pads. OCD maybe, I get it, I bite nails too... Amoung other ritualistic things to make myself feel better, but it's always at my expense.

[Shishkeberry]

I know what you mean about the trance. I also do that when I pull hair. I used to pull the hair on my head but now it's my pubic hair. I don't do that everyday, though.

[livie15]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

I'm sorry and don't mean to offend, but is there any way to add a trigger mention before this post? I read about a line and immediately had to close the thread. I popped back in to see about adding a trigger. I can't read about things of this nature, which totally on me. I do wish you the best though and I hope you find the help you're looking for.

So, so sorry!!! Didn't even occur to me-I'll see if I can find out how to add that.
Again, sorry!!!

[KazzaX]

Ohh habits are a toughie. Its pretty embarrassing but i used to suck my thumb from when I was born up until I was like 22 (lol, in private though). Tried everything to stop it!! It was the most relaxing thing ever... no matter what your problems were, pop the thumb in and its like instant Valium. instant results, lol. In the end what stopped me was shame. I moved in with a boyfriend and didn't want him to know, so I stopped. Well it was more of a "every time I realise im doing it, I think about how stupid I look and stop it" type deal. It was REALLY hard to stop. I even had to force my hand away with my other hand at the start. But after about 1 year of this I realised I didn't do it anymore and the problem was solved. I sort of made it a habit to stop myself from doing my other habit, kinda, haha.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by KazzaX

Ohh habits are a toughie. Its pretty embarrassing but i used to suck my thumb from when I was born up until I was like 22 (lol, in private though). Tried everything to stop it!! It was the most relaxing thing ever... no matter what your problems were, pop the thumb in and its like instant Valium. instant results, lol. In the end what stopped me was shame. I moved in with a boyfriend and didn't want him to know, so I stopped. Well it was more of a "every time I realise im doing it, I think about how stupid I look and stop it" type deal. It was REALLY hard to stop. I even had to force my hand away with my other hand at the start. But after about 1 year of this I realised I didn't do it anymore and the problem was solved. I sort of made it a habit to stop myself from doing my other habit, kinda, haha.

Actually, the author of "Up in the Air" had this issue too until young adulthood. The book and movie "Thumbsucker" are semi-autobiographical and if you haven't seen/read it I recommend it!! It shows how suppressing an innocuous habit may make problems crop up elsewhere. Love the movie Thumbsucker!! And there is a startlingly strange and funny cameo...

[growlycat]