[turquoise4]

I'm not sure I've posted in this forum before or not, but I have read through other posts and can relate to many many things related to T that others have shared here. I have been struggling so much recently. I have this deep need to be comforted by others (primarily T). I am so sad and I just want someone to comfort me, listen to me, pay attention to me, etc. Leaving T each week is so painful. I get so sad and upset that the session is over and I have to leave. Depending upon how comforting T was to me that week affects my mood for the rest of the week. If for whatever reason I don't feel comforted by T that week, then I feel so depressed because I have to wait another week to get that need filled. I hate being this way. Right now I am just really struggling. I had T yesterday and I am feeling so let down. I know T's are only human and also must operate within the bounds of there profession. I know T is trying to help me and really doing all she can for me. I know all of these things cognitively in my head. Emotionally though I just want someone to listen to me and comfort me until it is all better. I don't know how to ask for emotional support from anyone except T, which makes leaving T and going back to my life so hard. Leaving T each week stirs up feelings of abandonment that probably go back to my childhood. No one ever really comforted and validated me when I was upset before T. I am feeling so alone right now. I really feel like I could use some support if that is ok.

[geez]

(((turquoise))) I have been in your shoes and I know how hard it can be. If it helps, things do eventually get better with time. - For me it took 3 1/2 years where I didn't feel like I had to rely on T to feel 'happy'. I slowly with the help of good therapy learned to be more 'independent/grown up'. I do still go to T but it's different this go around. It's like I went away to college and now I'm back as a different person - more assured of myself while at the same time knowing I have T to lean on.

Background: I never had the nurturing from my mom/parents as a child.
T filled that hole for me and still does to this day (only I'm more independent). She will always 'only be my therapist' but that doesn't mean she is any less important than people who are supposed to mean something to me like my mom.

Hang in there and I highly recommend printing out what you wrote on PC and bring it with you to your next appointment for your T to read or for you to read to your T. It will help you and help your T understand what you need.

Sending so many hugs and peace of mind.

[struggling2]

im sorry you are struggling turquoise i know how you feel though. theres the anticipation of "its going to be ok, its T day!"....and then you leave and its like "ugh i have to carry this all by myself for another 7 days"..whereas kids that have "good enough" mom or dad they get all their needs met on a daily basis and grow up emotionally developed.....you'll get there.

geez, i wanted to ask you if you dont mind....how has your T filled that nurturing hole for you? like, in what ways....im jsut curious cause im hoping the same thing can happen for myself

[~EnlightenMe~]

Turq,
You are not alone in your experience. I think that the therapy community hasn't figured out how to deal with attachment issues, but I think there has been progress. Keep posting and talking and accept where you are right now. TC

Originally Posted by turquoise4

I have this deep need to be comforted by others (primarily T). I am so sad and I just want someone to comfort me, listen to me, pay attention to me, etc. Leaving T each week is so painful. I get so sad and upset that the session is over and I have to leave.

Those are heavy feelings to have. Is there anyone at all in your life who can provide some of the nurturing you need, besides T? Myself, I have a hotline that I call regularly, and the staff knows me. They are there to keep me propped up during the week or the middle of the night if I need it. Have you tried that? All my ::huggs:: for you.