trigger SI........





Allis fine til I start drinking and I wanna end It all. Attempted 3 times and saved three times, no ******** pill and cutting nothing to chance... Why how to get behind this feelinga.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Allis fine til I start drinking and I wanna end It all. Attempted 3 times and saved three times, no ******** pill and cutting nothing to chance... Why how to get behind this feelinga.

Oh Lola! I'm so sorry.

It's ok it is what it is.... I'm a failure and I have failed thaise I love.

[CantExplain]

Not yet you haven't! Hold on to that thought.

[Silent_tsol]

Hugs Lola
Remember, it is ok when you haven't been drinking, so when you recover from tonight, you will be ok again.
Keep posting to us

[Silent_tsol]

And you haven't failed. You're an amazingly strong person who cares a lot for other people

[CantExplain]

If drinking is a problem, you might want to raise that with T and tackle it directly.

[pbutton]

Yeah, if it's a problem only when drinking, eliminating the drinking might be a good fix.

Lola, I'm sorry things are so difficult now.

You are not a failure. Everyone has bad moments...this too shall pass. You wouldn't tell me I was a failure for eating a gallon of ice cream would you? We all have coping mechanisms...some of us eat, some of us drink...

When you recover from this drinking, maybe you could think about what made you take a drink? What feelings spurred it on?

You are a wonderful caring person and you just need to hang on...

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time Lola. You're not a failure love you're here sharing with us and hanging on....... ready is right we all have our coping mechanisms.... but you're not a failure and you will be ok!

That's my story too every time I drank I OD'ed. One morning I woke up and felt that familiar shame and heard the birds singing that when sober sounds nice, on awaking from a drunk was just a painful reminder of how lonely I felt & the fear of letting the morning light in when the thought hit me that if I didn't stop drinking this would happen again &again. I never drank again. That morning was over 9yrs ago. Funny that coz my last suicides attempt was over 9yrs ago. Think there might be a connection.

For whatever reason, me &alcohol were a bad mix.

[growlycat]

You are a support to us here and in your "real" life--everything you have posted makes it clear that people care about you and you are a "center" for many who depend on you-- your family life sounds very grounded, I hope the drinking hasn't made you lose access to that. Talk here or sleep it off! No one would be happy to lose you

[WikidPissah]

just seeing this now. Oh lola, it is so hard. I get pissed when I think of how sweet and kind you are and yet you have to deal with so much. You can pm me if you want. Sorry I am never around late at night though, it seems that thats when you need friends the most.

[sconnie892]

Lola
You are by no means a failure. You are a very insightful person who happens to be dealing with some difficult stuff.

Lola, you have been such a support for me, and I know for others as well. I do wish you could see yourself as we see you.

[elliemay]

Evidently everything is not fine or you wouldn't be drinking.

The drinking just makes everything worse.

The best solution is just don't drink. It can be as complicated or as simple as you want, but that's the answer to that problem.

You certainly will have support when you decide that's what you want for yourself.

[Silent_tsol]

Lola, I hope you feel a little better this morning. Check in when you get a chance ok?

I think to completely stop drinking will be tough. Maybe limit the amount you drink, or more slowly or maybe everytime you have a glass of something, have a glass of water afterwards. Don't drink on an empty stomach. I find lucozade is good as a recovery drink from hangovers. So stock up on those or other fruit drinks the night before.

I drink quite a bit myself. Certain alcoholic drinks affected my mood to others, and not always based on the strength of the alcohol content. You have to discover what alcoholic drinks you can take and what ones don't mix you.

Thank u all, I've told T ... Head on is exactly what I need to do

[stopdog]

LC - glad to hear from you.

Thanks Stopdog, I'm tired and ready to face my demons...so I should probably stay sober for it. Time for a new coping mechanism.

Lola. I am glad you are here and posted.

[stopdog]

I think sober is a good plan. It is not easy, but I believe sober, while harder, may help things move along quicker. (Quick here is a relative term - I don't mean fast - I mean without the setbacks and slow downs that non sober creates).
You have support here for when you want it.

[pbutton]

Yeah, I have an inability to stop drinking once I start. Much easier for me to avoid drinking at all.

I'm glad you're here.

[franki_j]

Hi Lola, just wanted to say that I can relate. The last time I SI'ed I had been drinking. It lowers our inhibitions and makes all those bad feelings come out of the woodwork, I think. Hugs to you