T Fail, Rinse and Repeat

Tell Frau T this...

I cannot believe I am the one defending the therapist in any fashion. Such an odd position for me. I am not suggesting continuing on with the frau t if you dislike her or she is trying to be dictatorial. I am suggesting to at least clarify what she meant by the exercise thing and how she responds to your concerns if you in general liked her well enough.
Then make the decision whether to continue on or not. It can take a lot of interviewing to find tolerable therapists.

I hate the gym too. big effin mirrors. but it doesn't have to be the gym, it can be an exercise video, a bike, a pair of dumbbells. it's such a small thing. you want to do it. why are you fighting her on it? of course, i'm asking myself the same thing. "I know, but..." my T must get tired of hearing that fRom me.

I seriously don't mind exercising, or getting sunlight.
What if I miss a day?
She's gonna ask, every week...I can tell. And I don't want to lie. What if I go into another depression, and lie in bed for days? Will she dump me?

I know you all are saying to ask her....but I've just met her. She doesn't even know I was in residential last month yet. She has no idea how screwy I am, and she's already saying "i will only work with you if...". I can't just confront someone after knowing them a couple of hours. It's not in me. *sigh* I am a quiet non-talker...I am very shy irl. I just want to talk to her about the cancer...that's it.

Exactly my point Wiki, don't waste any time.l.tell her look I may not get in the cardio you want, or let my 3rd eye bathe in sunlight all the time as somedays I can't get out of bed. I think you can help me with the cancer issue . I've got about 12 more bags besides that but , thats the one I wanna deal with right now. I don't wanna spill my guts and then have you ditch me and I don't wanna lie about crap to you either... So is this gonna work or not? F' it give me her number.

No way Jose, you ain't calling her!

I wish I could send out a preview of all my bad stuff to a bunch of T's and say..."call me if you can handle this s h it." But then I'd get his nastiness. Actually, he would probably take me, I think he's desperate enough.

if she only takes perfect clients, then I guess once she accepts you, you automatically become perfect. how else could it work? such a deal.
this is really grinding me. I hate people who think discipline comes from the outside in. it just doesn't work for me. does anybody force you - wiki - to eat vegan? No. it comes from the inside. same with the dogs. if you wanted a frickin lifecoach or gym trainer, you would get one. why do we have to explain to whomever, look, I KNOW myself, and I will sabotage myself if I try to FORCE myself to do something that my psyche is not ready to do. I want - need - you to help me HEAR what is going on in my head, and fix it, so I CAN do this. wtf. without accidentally injuring myself. cos believe me, I will if I have to.

ok you laugh, but that's kinda what I did... I called a few said I have this this this and this to deal with, I ask a lot of questions about the process and I have abandonment issues... Can you deal , if so...when can we meet.

See! That would be cool. Why won't these t's interview via phone or email? Is it because they don't get paid that way?

I seriously gave them no choice. I started with my name is Lola I'm 39 years old and have had a bad experience with therapy I need to process that and then this that and the other...I don't even breathe, I doubt they said hello. Then they had no choice either yes I'll see you or I'm too busy for all that...if they were to busy then I'd ask if they knew of someone who may be able to help me.

I was all business!

Seriously, the exercise thing sounds like a way of screening out patients that are too "difficult" for her. I agree with you that if she has made it a rule, you'll be hearing about it on a regular basis. Even if it's not every session, it will be in the back of your mind all the time--wracking you with guilt every time you decide it's too rainy/cold/hot/whatever to photosynthesize and work up a sweat.

I was rooting for her, too, because I thought it would be cool if you could find a good female therapist. But I don't think you've picked a trivial reason to dislike her. As I said, I put in my 2 hours of exercise every day no problem,and I would find that attitude chaffing. It's not the requirment itself. It's the fact that it IS a requirement. She's just a therapist. Not the queen of the universe!

That's what I did too - I wrote up a basic list of all my problems. T wrote back and said my issues all fell within his range of expertise. He said i could schedule an appt, an interview, or he'd be happy to talk to me on the phone.

All the ones I have seen have spent at least 20-25 minutes on the phone where I did say look - here is the deal with me - how do you work in these areas? There were some with whom I did not make appointments after the phone interview.

Let LC call and get the scoop for you.

hmmm....I am going to send Lola a list of T's and a script.

although, when I actually see one of them they are going to wonder why I am speaking southie instead of texan.

Im in and I'm a transplanted Yankee so it won't be exactly southern , more nomadic.. F'it I'll tell me it's for you ... And then threaten them don't F with my wiki.

NO!

That guarantees nothing.

I'm sorry, wiki. I know there is a T for you! I just know it. I like lola's idea of telling them about you on the phone and hearing how they react. I've forgotten if you live in an area with lots of Ts or a few? Did you look on PsychologyToday online to check them out? That's how I found mine, though funny thing, I actually overlooked her, but happened to call one in her same complex who didn't take my insurance. I asked if there was anyone else like HER, and she recommended my T. The reason I chose the other one is that she said people tell her she's the first T they could feel totally safe with. Or maybe check out GoodTherapy. I think Ts give descriptions of their practice there, too.

I live in the boonies...most t's don't even have a web page. PT and GT was scant. And it seems everyone works for or is attached to this giant collaborative that exT and pdoc were in...and I will have nothing to do with that place.