[~EnlightenMe~]

xT called me today. He said that he wanted to give me more referrals. He asked about the one therapist he had referred, the one I wrote about earlier called the Grumpy Old Man (GOM), and I sat in silence at first and then said I wasn't going to see him. So, he said that himself, GOM, and another T had been talking about good referrals to give me. xT gave me quite a few leads to check out. I told him I am seeing someone tomorrow.
He ended the conversation with something like take care, something like that. It was a positive interaction. I appreciate that he did this. Maybe he does care. Maybe the GOM cares while concurrently detesting games (maybe he had a traumatic game incident when he was young), maybe someone I don't know cares.

I can't allow anyone to be close, because it hurts too much. It's so hard now when people care because it is easier to be enraged than it is to trust people. I am so deadened at the moment, thank God, that I really don't feel anything but a massive headache, nausea, and exhaustion.

I've connected more of my previous traumatic incident to what went on between my T and myself. My resistance to certain things is a bit more understandable. I'm not going to talk about it with the T tomorrow, hopefully I can wait and hold this until I find where I belong.

I will be calling to make another appt. with a New T tomorrow.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Antimatter

xT called me today. He said that he wanted to give me more referrals. He asked about the one therapist he had referred, the one I wrote about earlier called the Grumpy Old Man (GOM), and I sat in silence at first and then said I wasn't going to see him. So, he said that himself, GOM, and another T had been talking about good referrals to give me. xT gave me quite a few leads to check out. I told him I am seeing someone tomorrow.
He ended the conversation with something like take care, something like that. It was a positive interaction. I appreciate that he did this. Maybe he does care. Maybe the GOM cares while concurrently detesting games (maybe he had a traumatic game incident when he was young), maybe someone I don't know cares.

I can't allow anyone to be close, because it hurts too much. It's so hard now when people care because it is easier to be enraged than it is to trust people. I am so deadened at the moment, thank God, that I really don't feel anything but a massive headache, nausea, and exhaustion.

I've connected more of my previous traumatic incident to what went on between my T and myself. My resistance to certain things is a bit more understandable. I'm not going to talk about it with the T tomorrow, hopefully I can wait and hold this until I find where I belong.

I will be calling to make another appt. with a New T tomorrow.

((Antimatter))

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by Antimatter

I can't allow anyone to be close, because it hurts too much. It's so hard now when people care because it is easier to be enraged than it is to trust people. I am so deadened at the moment, thank God, that I really don't feel anything but a massive headache, nausea, and exhaustion.

All I can say is I am sorry and I hope you find a T that works for you.

[Miswimmy1]

I'm really sorry for the tough thing your are going through...

Also, when u say that it hurts too much to get close to ppl, my heart aches for you. Only because I know exactly what you mean by that. Try to look at those who have hurt you as "flukes", and know that there *are* great relationships in store, and that you can get out there and try again. When u push back is often the times u are most in need :/ Reach out! Hang in there