[peaches100]

Wednesday is my last session with my t at the office where she's worked for 20 years. Then, she's away for a week, so I have to miss a session. After that, i start seeing her at her new location, which is much farther away.

I've been trying to find out for awhile now whether she can get on my insurance, and can't seem to find out anything for certain. I finally called the insurance company myself last week and told them that my last session ws coming up. . .and i needed to know if they OK'd her to be a preferred provider through her private practice, rather than the hospital where she works.

The person I talked to at the insurance company told me she WAS listed as preferred, but he said she was listed at some address that is incorrect. It is not her old location, or her new one. I was hoping that maybe they had processed her paperwork and approved her, but just got the address down wrong.

However, when I told my t about it, she said it didn't make sense. Apparently, she sent in her paperwork, requesting to stay a preferred provider. Then they sent her something back saying they didn't need any more preferred providers. So she wrote them back, telling them she's not a new preferred provider -- she has already been a preferred provider for years through the hospital where she works. So she asked again if they would approve her to continue as preferred provider in her individual practice. No word. She has called 2 or 3 times, and either the person she needs to speak to is out of the office, or she leaves a message and doesn't get a call back.

I can't stand not knowing what to expect anymore. . . I emailed her today, telling her how uneasy I am about all this. Told her i was using my coping skills and praying. And she replied "Good for you for using your coping skills." But I'm still a wreck!

I'm not ready for these changes, especially if it means I have to reduce my sessions to every other week. I don't want to do it. . .

I know i should be glad that at least I don't have to terminate, like many of her patients have probably been doing this week and last. But the change, the transition, the not knowing and feeling like I might have 50% less support is scary and hurts.

I know i could find a new t near my home that i could see every week and stay at my current copay of $25 per week. But i don't think i could leave my t and make that transition.

I'm just so nervous. . .

Adding to this is that my h just found out he has a heart valve defect and an enlarged aorta that the doctor says could burst as an aortic aneurysm if it is not taken care of. This is added to what he already has: post heart attack, rapid cycling bipolar, 50% kidney function, asthma, possibly precancerous MGUS, a disease that causes his vertebrate to fuse, degenerating disks in his neck, blown out disk in his low back, and bad osteoarthritis in his mid-back. He is in pain constantly and talks all the time about wanting to just pass away in his sleep. He is tired of suffering every day. He DOES NOT want heart surgery. He wants DNR (do not resuscitate) tatooed on his chest.

Sometimes, between his problems and mine (Complex PTSD, GAD, and post-Clinical Depression), I don't know how we manage to go on. He says he simply "cannot handle" another diagnosis.

I need to cry on somebody's shoulder. I'm feeling really alone.

[Miswimmy1]

I can't relate to not knowing what is going on and the uneasiness of it all. I have terrible anxiety so I love to know what is going to happen when. I feel for you. Just try and breathe and think good thoughts. I'm sure your t is trying her best to get it all figured out as quickly as she can.

As for being afraid to go to every other week, talk to your t about it. She can go through it with you and behind the reasons why u still don't feel like u have the confidence yet...

Thinking of u and wishing u the best of luck!

[Miswimmy1]

I can* relate (typo my bad)

[peaches100]

I take it that people here are sick of hearing about my problems? Guess it's time to give a little support instead. . .

[rainbow8]

Peaches, I don't think people are sick of hearing about your problems. I think they just don't know what to say. I'm sorry you feel so alone and I do hope more people will read your thread and respond.

I know it will be difficult to adjust to seeing your T in a farther away location and not as often. You just have to see what develops. I know you don't want to see someone else and I hope it doesn't come to that.

I'm sorry about your husband's additional health problems. It doesn't seem fair, when he's been struggling with so much already. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make him all well.

[WikidPissah]

((peaches)) That would be difficult for me as well. I hate things to be unsettled and up in the air. I am so sorry about your H, that's awful, and another major stresser. You have a lot going on. Take time for yourself, time to breathe. A walk, a bath, some yoga...anything to gain a little quiet in your brain.

I know from experience that you have to harass the insurance companies, maybe plan on making a call every day at a certain time until you get your answers. Take down the names of people you speak with and what they say.

Best wishes...and NO we are not sick of hearing from you...NO WAY.

[mixedup_emotions]

(((( Peaches ))))

It is incredibly stressful not knowing.....I am going through some similar things right now with insurance, employment, etc....and I think I'm just in denial, emotionally, because I know that I would totally freak if I allowed myself to feel.

I do hope that you get the answers you need soon....not knowing is so hard. (( HUGS ))

Originally Posted by peaches100

Wednesday is my last session with my t at the office where she's worked for 20 years. Then, she's away for a week, so I have to miss a session. After that, i start seeing her at her new location, which is much farther away.

I've been trying to find out for awhile now whether she can get on my insurance, and can't seem to find out anything for certain. I finally called the insurance company myself last week and told them that my last session ws coming up. . .and i needed to know if they OK'd her to be a preferred provider through her private practice, rather than the hospital where she works.

The person I talked to at the insurance company told me she WAS listed as preferred, but he said she was listed at some address that is incorrect. It is not her old location, or her new one. I was hoping that maybe they had processed her paperwork and approved her, but just got the address down wrong.

However, when I told my t about it, she said it didn't make sense. Apparently, she sent in her paperwork, requesting to stay a preferred provider. Then they sent her something back saying they didn't need any more preferred providers. So she wrote them back, telling them she's not a new preferred provider -- she has already been a preferred provider for years through the hospital where she works. So she asked again if they would approve her to continue as preferred provider in her individual practice. No word. She has called 2 or 3 times, and either the person she needs to speak to is out of the office, or she leaves a message and doesn't get a call back.

I can't stand not knowing what to expect anymore. . . I emailed her today, telling her how uneasy I am about all this. Told her i was using my coping skills and praying. And she replied "Good for you for using your coping skills." But I'm still a wreck!

I'm not ready for these changes, especially if it means I have to reduce my sessions to every other week. I don't want to do it. . .

I know i should be glad that at least I don't have to terminate, like many of her patients have probably been doing this week and last. But the change, the transition, the not knowing and feeling like I might have 50% less support is scary and hurts.

I know i could find a new t near my home that i could see every week and stay at my current copay of $25 per week. But i don't think i could leave my t and make that transition.

I'm just so nervous. . .

Adding to this is that my h just found out he has a heart valve defect and an enlarged aorta that the doctor says could burst as an aortic aneurysm if it is not taken care of. This is added to what he already has: post heart attack, rapid cycling bipolar, 50% kidney function, asthma, possibly precancerous MGUS, a disease that causes his vertebrate to fuse, degenerating disks in his neck, blown out disk in his low back, and bad osteoarthritis in his mid-back. He is in pain constantly and talks all the time about wanting to just pass away in his sleep. He is tired of suffering every day. He DOES NOT want heart surgery. He wants DNR (do not resuscitate) tatooed on his chest.

Sometimes, between his problems and mine (Complex PTSD, GAD, and post-Clinical Depression), I don't know how we manage to go on. He says he simply "cannot handle" another diagnosis.

I need to cry on somebody's shoulder. I'm feeling really alone.

has your hubby tried adjusting his diet? I think some of what he is dealing with could be minimized by correcting his eating habits. My sister has lupus and I have a friend with breast cancer, both have improved in spades from diet alone. It won't help the heart issue, but perhaps the rest. good luck.

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

I can't relate to not knowing what is going on and the uneasiness of it all. I have terrible anxiety so I love to know what is going to happen when. I feel for you. Just try and breathe and think good thoughts. I'm sure your t is trying her best to get it all figured out as quickly as she can.

As for being afraid to go to every other week, talk to your t about it. She can go through it with you and behind the reasons why u still don't feel like u have the confidence yet...

Thinking of u and wishing u the best of luck!

Hi Misswimmy1,

Thanks for replying. This transition has been hard for me. Weds was my last session at my t's old place of business. Now i won't see her for almost 2 weeks. We're down to 3 sessions per month now until Jan 1. Then down to 2 sessions/month.

My t has told me we will work through this together. I'm trying not to freak out about it anymore. What is, is. I will have to adjust to it. Freaking out isn't going to help anything. I'm scared, but I know somehow i will live through reducing my sessions and having less support. It's probably what i need to start learning how to be more independent. I've been in t a long time. My h is encouraging me to view this as progress. I can't let myself think about it too much or i will start getting afraid.

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Peaches, I don't think people are sick of hearing about your problems. I think they just don't know what to say. I'm sorry you feel so alone and I do hope more people will read your thread and respond.

I know it will be difficult to adjust to seeing your T in a farther away location and not as often. You just have to see what develops. I know you don't want to see someone else and I hope it doesn't come to that.

I'm sorry about your husband's additional health problems. It doesn't seem fair, when he's been struggling with so much already. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make him all well.

Hi Rainbow,

Thanks for your concern! I hope too that it doesn't come down to needing to change t's. If it's possible for me to adjust, i guess i would rather see my current t 2 times per month rather than start with a new t and have therapy every week. I just hope i can adjust to it. I'm not sure how much actual progress can be made only having sessions every other week. When i miss a session, we lose some momentum. My t mentioned that to me yesterday. But we will just have to figure out how to do this.

I really want to email t at the new email address she gave me. But I'm feeling encouraged by other posters who are trying so hard, and using so much self-control, not to contact their t's. It makes me want to do the same! If the urge gets overwhelming, maybe I'll do what they are doing - post here instead.

Yes, I wish you could wave a magic wand and make my h better. It's hard to be a witness to his suffering and unhappiness and not be able to fix it.

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

((peaches)) That would be difficult for me as well. I hate things to be unsettled and up in the air. I am so sorry about your H, that's awful, and another major stresser. You have a lot going on. Take time for yourself, time to breathe. A walk, a bath, some yoga...anything to gain a little quiet in your brain.

I know from experience that you have to harass the insurance companies, maybe plan on making a call every day at a certain time until you get your answers. Take down the names of people you speak with and what they say.

Best wishes...and NO we are not sick of hearing from you...NO WAY.

Hi Wickidpissah,

I really appreciate that you took the time to reply to me. You gave me a good idea, to do some self-soothing stuff. . .breathing, walking, getting some quiet. When i get stressed out, i tend to do the opposite. I worry and ruminate until i get myself twice as frazzled! I think about my problems and try to figure out how to solve them until my head starts hurting. Unfortunately, alot of what i worry about and try to fix, I can't control or change anyway. So i end up just making myself sick over it!
I guess alot of it is my GAD.

But you're right! I need to just calm down and breathe. This is a challenge, but not a horrible disaster. I'm going to be OK.

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

((peaches)) That would be difficult for me as well. I hate things to be unsettled and up in the air. I am so sorry about your H, that's awful, and another major stresser. You have a lot going on. Take time for yourself, time to breathe. A walk, a bath, some yoga...anything to gain a little quiet in your brain.

I know from experience that you have to harass the insurance companies, maybe plan on making a call every day at a certain time until you get your answers. Take down the names of people you speak with and what they say.

Best wishes...and NO we are not sick of hearing from you...NO WAY.

PS - T says she got somebody else involved to try to contact the insurance company, since they aren't returning her calls. So there's still a tiny chance things will work out there. But I've pretty much accepted that it won't since they already refused her once.

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

(((( Peaches ))))

It is incredibly stressful not knowing.....I am going through some similar things right now with insurance, employment, etc....and I think I'm just in denial, emotionally, because I know that I would totally freak if I allowed myself to feel.

I do hope that you get the answers you need soon....not knowing is so hard. (( HUGS ))

Hi Mixedupemotions,

Sorry you are going through something similar! I totally relate to not wanting to think about it, so as not to freak out. Often, thinking about it makes it worse for me. Instead of being able to calm myself and talk myself through a difficult situation, i doubt my ability to cope and then feel even worse. I need to physically put my mind and/or body in a different state and get away from this rumination. I think at lunchtime i will go for a walk.

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by TentativeConnection

has your hubby tried adjusting his diet? I think some of what he is dealing with could be minimized by correcting his eating habits. My sister has lupus and I have a friend with breast cancer, both have improved in spades from diet alone. It won't help the heart issue, but perhaps the rest. good luck.

Hi TentativeConnection,

My h's doctors, and I, have tried to appeal to my h to change his diet, but he is not very willing to do it. He doesn't have very good self-control when it comes to eating. He says that eating is about the only thing he has left that he enjoys, so he is going to eat what he wants to. He doesn't believe changing his diet would make that much difference. It wouldn't get rid of his bipolar or his disease that is making his back fuse or his blown out disks, etc. I know it might help his heart, though, and maybe his kidneys. But he is pretty stubborn when it comes to food. His mom was very poor growing up and raised him to put a great emphasis on food. He uses it for comfort.

[peaches100]

Hello everybody,

I just wanted to share the good news that my insurance company has finally agreed to let my t be a preferred provider.

She had already left her last job and i had started having to cut down sessions and pay out of pocket. But the insurance company finally came through!!

With my husband having so many terrible issues with his health and the stress we are under, I am so glad I can keep my t's support. I'm so relieved. I just can't do it alone.

Just wanted to share. . .

Originally Posted by peaches100

Hi TentativeConnection,

My h's doctors, and I, have tried to appeal to my h to change his diet, but he is not very willing to do it. He doesn't have very good self-control when it comes to eating. He says that eating is about the only thing he has left that he enjoys, so he is going to eat what he wants to. He doesn't believe changing his diet would make that much difference. It wouldn't get rid of his bipolar or his disease that is making his back fuse or his blown out disks, etc. I know it might help his heart, though, and maybe his kidneys. But he is pretty stubborn when it comes to food. His mom was very poor growing up and raised him to put a great emphasis on food. He uses it for comfort.

I am so glad that your insurance company is cooperating, finally! I am very happy for you about getting to see your T more often.

In reference to the above, not to be rude (I really, really don't mean to be), but if your husband's health is this bad, aren't you ending up doing most of the shopping and cooking? Can you just NOT buy junk?

[rainbow8]

I'm so happy that your T will be a preferred provider!!

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I am so glad that your insurance company is cooperating, finally! I am very happy for you about getting to see your T more often.

In reference to the above, not to be rude (I really, really don't mean to be), but if your husband's health is this bad, aren't you ending up doing most of the shopping and cooking? Can you just NOT buy junk?

Hi Mykidsarecool,

That's a great idea. But my h still does most of the food shopping and cooking. He's disabled from being able to do his former job as a woodworker. But he can still do some household chores while i work full-time. I will keep encouraging him to buy GOOD stuff to eat. . .