[Emptty]

What would you do if you found out your T had cancer? Wasn't dying or anything but was sick?

My T told me he had cancer, it fit in with what we were talking about. He said he was fine and it wasn't a big deal and I trust him when he says it isn't a serious form of cancer and he isn't dying(I can't type what kind because I want to keep it anonymous but I googled it and it isn't that bad on the scale)

At first I blew it off but now I feel worried about it and sad. I sort of wish he never told me.

Do any of you know about a Ts health problems?(whether they told you or you found out some other way)

I don't know how to handle this information... I know I need to talk to him and I will but it isn't going to make me feel any better. He doesn't deserve to be sick and I know it's not serious but I'm still worried.

[murray]

That is hard to deal with. Sorry

In my case my T has shared some stuff about his health. He has a chronic disease and he was very very ill many years ago. Honestly there are times that I wish that I didn't have this information. While I am honored that he shared this with me, there are times when I worry because I know about his health issues. I often wonder if the disease is progressing or if things are still fine but I don't feel that it is appropriate for me to ask. There have also been many times when I have felt tremendous guilt for complaining about my life when at least I have my health and I worry that he will hate me for that. I know, that is my irrational fear, there. The thing is that the knowledge does effect me though. It is tough with our T relationships. As much as I am glad that my T discloses as much as he does, there are times that it can be quite detrimental to our work together.

[Emptty]

I started feeling guilty today, for complaining about my depression - thinking that the physical cancer he has is worse than my depression. Irrational but so hard...

Poor Ts, I wish they were all healthy because they're such helpful and caring people(the ones I've known anyway)

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by Emptty

I started feeling guilty today, for complaining about my depression - thinking that the physical cancer he has is worse than my depression. Irrational but so hard...

Poor Ts, I wish they were all healthy because they're such helpful and caring people(the ones I've known anyway)

* * * MAY TRIGGER * * *

I can understand this, totally....I just learned that one of our newer group members suffered the loss of her child at the age of 2. Kinda makes my issues pale in comparison. But, she said that she's had 6 years to process her loss and she's in a good place with it now...and that so-n-so (in group) is in distress now and that's much more immediate. It made sense to me, but it's still hard to even complain about anything when I compare it to what she's been through.

[critterlady]

My T says that just because someone else has two broken legs, it doesn't make my one broken leg any less painful.

I think it's natural to react that way to that kind of news about someone important in your life. I think that's why my T would probably not tell me something like that, unless it was going to directly affect my therapy in some way. If it wasn't going to affect that, he wouldn't want to pull the focus of our work away from me.

There's a saying that depression is a cancer of the soul. Cancer and depression are both terrible illnesses. Don't feel guilty about talking to your T about your depression.

[coquinarock]

Its hard to not compare what you are experiencing (depression) with your T's cancer. However, I doubt your T disclosed this information with the intent to take your focus away from yourself. You are in therapy to heal yourself so don't be afraid to continue on the journey.

My T has a problem with his heart that is very rare, but his prognosis is that he could die at any time. It happened once 6 years ago, and he actually died on the operating table, but they brought him back. All the docs know is that it could happen again, and they can't predict when. (It's an aneurysm-type thing). He wrote a paper about it that was published in one of the psychology journals, and he has a link to it on his website. That's how I first found out about it, but since then he's brought it up a couple of times. He says it's been hard to adjust to, but it makes him live in the moment.

Yeah, I feel like my problems are so insigificant compared to what he has to live with. But it's important to him to live normally and he's really into his work, which is to help people. Probably your T is too.

I think you should tell him that it's bothering you because you care about him. I care about my T too, and I hate that he has to live with this. I'm sure he won't want to spend much session time talking about himself, and you can get back to having the focus on you and what's going on in your life. Just don't feel like you have to hide your concern from him. To me it's normal.

Originally Posted by Emptty

What would you do if you found out your T had cancer? Wasn't dying or anything but was sick?

My T told me he had cancer, it fit in with what we were talking about. He said he was fine and it wasn't a big deal and I trust him when he says it isn't a serious form of cancer and he isn't dying(I can't type what kind because I want to keep it anonymous but I googled it and it isn't that bad on the scale)

At first I blew it off but now I feel worried about it and sad. I sort of wish he never told me.

Do any of you know about a Ts health problems?(whether they told you or you found out some other way)

I don't know how to handle this information... I know I need to talk to him and I will but it isn't going to make me feel any better. He doesn't deserve to be sick and I know it's not serious but I'm still worried.

I'm sorry Emptty. This has to be really difficult to process. I wish I had something insightful to say but I don't. I would have a meltdown if I found out my T was sick. I already worry about him all the time so I know how the worry part feels.

I have talked with him about it and it helped a lot. He kind of ran down his medical history/current health state and I appreciated that because it was information he didn't have to share.

It sounds like he is really open with you and he opened the door of inquirey by telling you, so maybe it would help to ask him any questions you may have. Sometimes having a better understanding of something can help to relieve the anxiety you may have about it.