[sweepy62]

As you all know or dont almost 2 weeks ago i had been admitted to the crisis stabilization unit for 48 hrs for suicide plan and means to do it.

I felt a bit better when i got out my moods change throughout the day sometimes i been going to therapy intensive all this week plus i see pdoc tomorrow anyway im depressed feel irritable and angry also i am taking my meds have not had any alcohol but the thought of suicide doesnt seem to subside that much i do try to focus on other things and i journal as well

right now i have the means but i dont have a set date and dont even know if I would be successful but my intentions are those that i stated above.

I should tell my pdoc but i was just released last week just or having a plan its so embarassing i dont want to be admitted again and have people look at me like a jerk.

[mixedup_emotions]

(((( HUGS ))))

I can understand feeling embarrassed. Please know that the doctors are there to help you. They went into that field with a desire to help people who are in crisis. Please let them help you. (( HUGS ))

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

(((( HUGS ))))

I can understand feeling embarrassed. Please know that the doctors are there to help you. They went into that field with a desire to help people who are in crisis. Please let them help you. (( HUGS ))

thank you for your reply mixed up i really have a hard time deciding if i want to tell somebody but then again it does not make sense to tell ppl irl

Sweepy, sometimes it takes more then 1 time. Call Pdoc and go back to stabilization, if that's what you need that's what you need. It is what it is. If you did decide to take all those pills and it doesnt work out as you planned ( statistically it doesn't ), you could end up with brain damage, or as a vegetable. Minimally you would end up at the ER having your stomach pumped and then be admitted. So if this is your intent, save those that love you the trouble-cut out the middle step and admit you need help.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Sweepy, sometimes it takes more then 1 time. Call Pdoc and go back to stabilization, if that's what you need that's what you need. It is what it is. If you did decide to take all those pills and it doesnt work out as you planned ( statistically it doesn't ), you could end up with brain damage, or as a vegetable. Minimally you would end up at the ER having your stomach pumped and then be admitted. So if this is your intent, save those that love you the trouble-cut out the middle step and admit you need help.

thank you lola i admit i do need help i dont wake up in the morning and say hey i want to kill myself today there is just something wrong with me, i guess i was wrong i thought all those pills would do the trick but i dont want to end up a vegetable

Originally Posted by sweepy62

thank you lola i admit i do need help i dont wake up in the morning and say hey i want to kill myself today there is just something wrong with me, i guess i was wrong i thought all those pills would do the trick but i dont want to end up a vegetable

Call Pdoc-maybe its time to have an inpatient visit again or at least let T or Pdoc know how you feel. I don't think anyone thinks gee, I wanna kill myself today, out of the blue. What has got you to feeling this way? Where's H?

[nicoleflynn]

I don't think you want to die; you want the pain t go away"?

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Call Pdoc-maybe its time to have an inpatient visit again or at least let T or Pdoc know how you feel. I don't think anyone thinks gee, I wanna kill myself today, out of the blue. What has got you to feeling this way? Where's H?

i have appt with pdoc tomorrow and friday with t h does not know how i am feeling again he was upset i had to stay away for 2 days

[Bill3]

In the mean time, you can call 1-800-273-TALK any time to reach a trained and empathetic listener.

[sweepy62]

Thank u bill I was thinking of calling my hotline but I don't want to tell them too much maybe if I talk a little it will help I think

[Bill3]

I hope that you will let us know how it goes and/or keep us posted.

I didn't read everyone's response. Take all those pills and take them and give them to your Pdoc at your next appt. Tell him its not good for you to have these in the house. That should be enough to start the conversation and it would be in your best interest plus it would show that you are trying to keep yourself safe even if the ideas and thoughts are still there.

[sweepy62]

Thx ready I will try and do that she is a very good pdoc I just wish I didnt need help an could just snap out of it

[alone in the world]

The idea of getting rid of the pills is right on the money talking now from a personal experience. I hoarded xanax and when things were bad I would take up to 10 and risking not waking and leaving my kids without a mother. I did get rid of the xanax and the compulsion has died down alot. Just think of all the people that would miss you if you use the pills. I glad to read that you are taking everyone suggestion to heart. I thinkk you just need to recognize you need more time in the hospital to get better. I will think of you as I go about my week. be safe.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I hope that you will let us know how it goes and/or keep us posted.

i just woke up again all i do is want to sleep no energy but i will keep u posted

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by alone in the world

The idea of getting rid of the pills is right on the money talking now from a personal experience. I hoarded xanax and when things were bad I would take up to 10 and risking not waking and leaving my kids without a mother. I did get rid of the xanax and the compulsion has died down alot. Just think of all the people that would miss you if you use the pills. I glad to read that you are taking everyone suggestion to heart. I thinkk you just need to recognize you need more time in the hospital to get better. I will think of you as I go about my week. be safe.

thank you i just woke up all i do is sleep i have little energy i know it will hurt the ppl who love me i will keep you posted

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I just wish I didnt need help an could just snap out of it

This made me chuckle. I say this to myself all the time...just get over it...just snap out of it... oh if it was that easy there would be no therapists or Pdocs.
Asking for the help you need is a sign of being healthy.

[sweepy62]

the administrator has edited my post and i apologize to everyone for not following rules i am so out of it that i didnt realized that i posted stuff i wasnt suppose to i just needed to reach out

[Bill3]

the administrator has edited my post and i apologize to everyone for not following rules i am so out of it that i didnt realized that i posted stuff i wasnt suppose to i just needed to reach out

I am glad that you did. I hope that you will post more if you need to and/or reach out to a hotline tonight. There is always a trained listener available at 1-800-273-TALK.

If you find that you are in serious danger tonight, then please definitely call a hotline, or 911, or go to an ER.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I am glad that you did. I hope that you will post more if you need to and/or reach out to a hotline tonight. There is always a trained listener available at 1-800-273-TALK.

If you find that you are in serious danger tonight, then please definitely call a hotline, or 911, or go to an ER.

Thank you bill if i find myself too overwhelmed over the idea i will call thank you for caring im just trying to reach out through pc because you guys understand

[Bill3]

Thank you very much for your kind words.