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  #1  
Old Sep 26, 2012, 07:57 PM
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trdleblue trdleblue is offline
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Today I wasn't able to get much out during t, which is becoming a recurring problem for me. One of the few things I did get out was about some old photos of myself from when I was younger that I found while organizing. I have never been much of a picture person, but looking at these pictures just left me feeling disconnected and strange. I know that they are of me, but I feel like I'm looking at someone else. It's really bothering me. I feel lost to who I am now, and no connection to who I was earlier in life. I'm starting to feel like there is no me to be found.

My T asked if I would bring one of the pictures in next week. He seemed to think that I might find it difficult, but I'm kind of indifferent to the idea.
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  #2  
Old Sep 26, 2012, 11:50 PM
Anonymous32732
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I think it's a good idea to bring them in. Once or twice I have, and it's lead to interesting discussions and memories coming up. Besides, my T has said that he likes pictures because they "draw you in" (whatever that means). So why not try it once? If it seems like a waste of time, you can cross that off your list.
  #3  
Old Sep 27, 2012, 07:00 AM
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Thank you for replying. I'm going to bring the picture. I didn't mean for it to sound like I wasn't. It's just that I don't know if it will do any good. I think I could bring in a picture of a stranger, or from a magazine, that I would have more of a connection to. Should I really be such a stranger to myself?
  #4  
Old Sep 27, 2012, 10:03 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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This is what having emotional issues is all about, not being integrated. I remember when I integrated my whole personality. It was a great accomplishment.

Some inner child work perhaps? How do you feel about that girl?
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Thanks for this!
trdleblue
  #5  
Old Sep 27, 2012, 10:08 AM
anonymous112713
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Someone else on another thread suggested this and I have been carrying 2 school pictures around with me for awhile now. Although I know its me, I tend to look at the pictures as someone else. But as I begin to tell and think about MY MEMORIES and relate them to the girl in the picture I find it easier to connect emotions to them, even if it feels like I'm grieving for someone else. Let us know how it goes.
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  #6  
Old Sep 28, 2012, 03:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trdleblue View Post
My T asked if I would bring one of the pictures in next week. He seemed to think that I might find it difficult, but I'm kind of indifferent to the idea.
I did this and it triggered me for several weeks.
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trdleblue
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trdleblue
  #7  
Old Sep 28, 2012, 04:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
I did this and it triggered me for several weeks.
Do you know why?

I did this & was pretty indifferent to the whole thing.
  #8  
Old Sep 28, 2012, 04:33 PM
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hi trdle i think bringing in the pic would be a good star in trying to figure out why you feel so disconnected with the girl in the picture.i know how thart feels.it is like looking at a differnt world.
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Thanks for this!
trdleblue
  #9  
Old Sep 28, 2012, 06:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton View Post
Do you know why?

I did this & was pretty indifferent to the whole thing.
My T used those pictures to argue that my mother adored me.
That's not easy for me to accept.
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  #10  
Old Sep 28, 2012, 06:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
hi trdle i think bringing in the pic would be a good star in trying to figure out why you feel so disconnected with the girl in the picture.i know how thart feels.it is like looking at a differnt world.
This too. I'm not connected with the little boy in the picture.
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  #11  
Old Sep 28, 2012, 07:33 PM
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trdleblue trdleblue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
My T used those pictures to argue that my mother adored me.
That's not easy for me to accept.
I'm sorry that this is what your T sees when it was not the case. I know my mom was big on image, and would make everyone play the happy family when anyone was around. I don't have many pictures with my mom, so I don't think that will be a problem with the ones I will take in next week.
  #12  
Old Sep 28, 2012, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trdleblue View Post
I'm sorry that this is what your T sees when it was not the case. I know my mom was big on image, and would make everyone play the happy family when anyone was around. I don't have many pictures with my mom, so I don't think that will be a problem with the ones I will take in next week.
I'm starting to see that I had a loving parent and a hateful parent when I was growing up. And they were both my mother. It's like she was two people, maybe. (Still not at all sure about this.)

But I'm a black-and-white thinker and it is very hard for me to see both sides of her at once. It was easier to hate her than to accept her contradictions. And I think that applies to T as well.
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