I am, more so than anything else. Wonder if I am fighting myself over this. I try to "mix" but find it has an adverse effect on me. What do others thing on the topic of introverted v extroverted. Not looking for the wrongs or rights or any heavy debate just interested in other peoples experiences with this until they realised what the problem was.

[critterlady]

I'm an introvert by nature, but I've had to fake extroversion for work and school for 30+ years. I find the only thing that lets me do it is promising myself alone down time as soon as the need passes.

I'm still not very comfortable around loads of people I don't know, but practice has made it a little easier over the yeas.

[stopdog]

I am introverted but less so than I originally thought. I am fine with small groups of people I know.

[KazzaX]

I am an introvert for sure. Ts keep telling me that its terribly wrong that i am so introverted. But I believe it is just a preference thing - some people like to socialize and some don't. Just like some people have blue eyes and some don't. Nothing wrong with it either way, it's just different. I wouldn't fight it if i were you - just go with it. That is who you are. Nothing wrong with it!

[SpiritRunner]

I am introverted too. I used to think I was shy, was told I was .... but it isn't that. It's just that I don't care for large groups so much and when I am in them I am quieter, more reserved, preferring to listen rather than actively engage or try to be the one holding a crowd's attention. I prefer one to one conversations, because those can be deeper, more intellectually interesting to me than small talk or group chatter/banter. I am talkative when I want to be and I don't want to be so in large groups. They take more emotional energy or something out of me too .... then I have to go off and re-charge. I need connection, but I need solitude to prepare me for connection, as it were, I guess, and then to renew me from energy socializing takes from me. My H gets his charge from being with people, but my charge gets drained usually. A good deep conversation with a close friend is invigorating to me though .... in intellectual ways as well as emotional/mental. I guess I've just accepted that the way I am is fine, but I adapt/compromise when necessary.

[Butterflies Are Free]

I am an extrovert but my sister is an introvert. I totally respect the fact that she is more comfortable in small groups, one on one, or even on her own. I think each person is okay the way they are and it is great to be an introvert. Many introverts are sensitive, kind, thoughtful people.

[sarahplainandshort]

I'm an introvert, too. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert; it's not something that needs to be fixed in T. It's just a place on a spectrum of personality traits.

I used to feel defective or deficient because I mistakenly equated introverted with shy...but that's not really the case. I've improved my social skills and have come to enjoy talking to people, but in most cases I can only handle a few hours of interaction at a time (except for DH and kids).

I learned the last time I did a Meyers-Brigg type test, though, that extroversion vs. introversion isreally about how you re-charge your energy--in others words, extroverts feel energized by being around other people, introverts feel energized by quiet time. That may be a little oversimplified, but it really opened my eyes and I stopped beating myself up for being unsociable or unfriendly, because that's not the case at all. As long as I honor my need to "escape" for a while, I feel so much more balanced and calm.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

I am, more so than anything else. Wonder if I am fighting myself over this. I try to "mix" but find it has an adverse effect on me. What do others thing on the topic of introverted v extroverted. Not looking for the wrongs or rights or any heavy debate just interested in other peoples experiences with this until they realised what the problem was.

I think introversion/extroversion is a relatively fixed part of one's personality. It isn't necessarily a problem unless it causes impaired functioning. I'm an introvert. I accept that about myself. Basically, I need to be by myself to recharge, unwind, deal with stress, etc. When I have a lot of energy and am feeling strong, being with others is fine. But my batteries run down after a while because being with others can be a strain. Then I recharge by myself. I have a stressful job--yesterday at my lunch I walked into the small lunchroom and their were 4 women in their babbling away and I just turned around and walked out and went to my car to eat my lunch alone. I needed that lunch to recharge and recuperate from the morning at work, not be with chatty co-workers, which would not help at all. It's not that I don't like people. I identify with what SpiritRunner wrote about liking to connect deeply with people, but needing time alone to prepare for connection, especially the superficial type. KazzaX, I'm sorry your T thinks there is something wrong with being introverted. That's just wrong!!

In the U.S., at least, it seems extroversion is valued more than introversio by society. There is "pressure" to be extroverted, and extroverted people are admired. So one can get led down the path to think one should change if one is an introvert. There are a lot of books on being introverted, such as "The Introvert Advantage: How to Survive in an Extrovert World" and "The Happy Introvert: A Wild and Crazy Guide for Celebrating Your True Self."

My T is a super extrovert, and I am an introvert. Wondering about others T's...

[BlessedRhiannon]

I am a rather extreme introvert, and that's never been accepted in my family. So, I learned how to appear to be an extrovert, but it's exhausting when I have to do so. It's only in the last few years, with the help of my introverted therapist, that I've learned to accept that it really is okay to be an introvert. The culture in the US, and most especially US corporate culture does not really encourage introversion, so it can often be hard to accept that aspect of my personality, and to allow it to have reign rather than pretending all the time.

I can relate to all your expereinces. I don't know why but I seem to be creating my own pressure to be extrovert. Something else to think about. As if I need anymore *rollseyes*

[Mike_J]

You will never be comfortable being someone who you aren't. If you are an intorovert (like I am) you need to realize this, I wouldn't try to "fake" being an extrovert, but taking small steps to lessen how intorverted you are, expanding your comfort zone, can be done and at least for me have shown some small but positive changes.

[Silent_tsol]

Also an introvert.

We often feel this way because we live in an extroverted world. I think it's somewhere around 80% extrovert /20% introvert.

http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_...ntroverts.html

[Perna]

I've always just thought my introversion was a preference for working more alone than with group, I'd rather have a one-on-one dinner than go to a party, rather read than attend the circus, etc.; I don't feel it has anything to do with friendliness though. I can have fun at a party, find/"make" smaller groups or individuals to talk with; to me it's kind of like going to the ball game and enjoying the people you are with rather than the whole stadium experience; I rarely feel one with a crowd. I also don't go out of my way to make something groupish happen. I'll go along with a group but don't "start" anything.

[tooski]

Originally Posted by sunrise

My T is a super extrovert, and I am an introvert. Wondering about others T's...

I'm an introvert and proud of it!
When discussing this with T, he said that he is an introvert but a functional extrovert. He's very extroverted during sessions, and I know he teaches and does some public speaking, but he says that outside of work he's very introverted and likes to be alone. I think I get this. I've gotten better at temporarily overcoming my shyness when I need to, for short periods of time. But then I need time alone to recharge.

[faith1983]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-unite-quietly

Intoverts unite

(but I really do love and appreciate extrovert people)

For the record, I was reallyyyyyyyyyy too introvert when I started therapy. I'm still by now and will always be and always wanna be, but I'm able to at least open up enough to tell people I care about what really goes on inside so it's helpful in my relationship.

[Snuffleupagus]

Sarahplainandshort mentioned the meyers-Briggs index, and I always come out as a very strong INTP which is about as inwardly focused as you can get. My mom is hugely extroverted, and for a long time, I thought that was how I was supposed to be too. I felt so inadequate in comparison to her.

As others have said, I've accepted at this point that if I'm going to be around people for an extended period, it's gotta be followed by solitude and quiet for my sanity to have a shot. I used to have no comfort talking to strangers, but my participation in my 12 step groups has completely changed this for me. It feels commonplace and natural which has convinced me of my malleability. This is big change for someone who once didn't get a haircut for 6 years because I'd have to talk to the stylist.

[learning1]

being introverted, and the lack of acceptance of that in the US, is one of the hardest things in life for me. i think that the lack of acceptance of it is the main thing that caused me to be bullied from when I started school until the end of high school. It definitely exacerbated my shyness, depression and social anxiety. I'm slowly acheiving more of what is considered successful in our extroverted culture- I can do some public speaking, I can start a conversation in most situations, sometimes I can keep the conversation going as long as I want. Often I have the confidence to end a conversation when I want. But whenever something doesn't go well for me, I still usually wonder whether it's due to my unacceptable social skills and unacceptably quiet personality.

[newtus]

im an extreme introvert too. very very extreme. i currently have 0 friends. literally. old enough not to be in high school so that adds to the extreme introversion. no college. i cant do much speaking. even being in the physical presence of some person other than immediate family is ....just bad..

[Sameer6]

I am an introvert as well.I don't have any friend because i always wanted someone similar as me.I know i can never find an introvert in the place where i live.I can't even able to find in online.There are..but those introverts whom i talked were so weak that they don't want to share things.And yes..not all Introverts are same.The same applies for extroverts.

[lastyearisblank]

I am an introvert too. I probably don't love people as much as I am supposed to. In Briggs Myers I usually get INFJ or INFP. My friends have taken it and 3/4 of them are introverts too. We do "unite," just quietly, just like that article said!

[Chopin99]

I am a solid INTJ. I can be extroverted, but I am normally exhausted after being around a group of people for awhile. I need my alone time. It's restorative.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I am a solid INTJ. I can be extroverted, but I am normally exhausted after being around a group of people for awhile. I need my alone time. It's restorative.

That's how I am too. I certainly can be quite extroverted, it just takes a lot of energy to do so. I prefer it quiet. I enjoy the company of animals a lot.

[critterlady]

I've taken Meyers-Briggs 3 times and I've been I twice and E once. I'm usually really close to the middle on the score.

One of the people who administered MB to me (the one who really understood it well) told me that people who are close to the middle on the score are usually introverts who have learned to cope in an extrovert world by being able to appear extroverted. She asked me a deciding question - how do i recharge, with people or alone? When I told her that being with a big group of people is not at all recharging for me and that I prefer curling up alone at home, she said, yep, you're an introvert.

[stopdog]

I am INTP on the mb test. I have taken it several times ( friends needing to administer it for various classes). Once or twice I was on the border for the J/P slot. But always INT.
I like being with small groups of people I know, and I love teaching. But I need an enormous amount of time alone.

[mommyof2girls]

I am more of an introvert... ( but deff working on this in therapy ) ..... I don't mind being by myself at times.... I like me......