[gypsyprincess]

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship in which one of the key words my boyfriend used to use to hurt me was "insecure." I told my therapist about this. The problem is that I have internalized the word insecure and so when I'm talking to my therapist without thinking my thoughts through, I use this word sometimes to describe myself or how I feel about things. The last time I saw my therapist, she told me that I seem "insecure" about my current relationship. And now I feel very irritated by her and pissed off at her for using it. Am I entitled to feel this way about it?

[stopdog]

I don't think entitled and feeling are a match - one simply feels the way one feels - there is no entitled involved. Have you tried telling the therapist how the word makes you feel and see if she is willing to try avoiding it or if she will explain how her use of it could help you? I always believe one should tell the therapist when one is pissed off at them.

You can feel however you want to feel. You already realize this is a "trigger" word for you, and that's an important awareness on your part. You probably even realize that she wasn't being abusive by using that word; she isn't your boyfriend and you realize that. But your reaction to it is what is important here. It would be worth discussing it with your T, not because she's "wrong" by using the word, but because it is an issue at your core that you need to process.

I second everything that farmergirl said. The word is triggering for you because your boyfriend used it in an abusive way, as part of the abuse. But it's a valid word for the T to use and she's not being abusive.

But there's absolutely nothing wrong with you getting angry at her for using it. It makes perfect sense, it's valid, and you should tell her. If it was me, I would say "I HATE it when you use that word!!!!!" Then we would discuss why. If you'd like her to remove it from her vocabulary when she's in session with you, ask. But the important thing is to work on the issue it brings up.

[unaluna]

You ask, are you entitled to be angry at her for using a word that is sensitive to you? idk, to me that's like yelling at a dr for poking you in a tender spot. you are entitled to yell if it hurts, no? the real question is, why does it still hurt? and is it easier to yell at T than to yell at a new boyfriend? who are you really protecting, and why?