I really feel like she cares about me for me, and not just the "I care about you because you are my client" kind of caring. Just...genuine.

She is always nice to me, no matter what mean things I say or do to her... she even gave me a hug without my having to work up the courage to ask for one. She does things because she thinks they will make me feel good, and that's all.

It is hard to understand that there is no ulterior motive, and that she really just wants me to feel better...

[peridot28]

Originally Posted by TentativeConnection

I really feel like she cares about me for me, and not just the "I care about you because you are client" kind of caring.

She is always nice to me, no matter what mean things I say or do to her... she even gave me a hug without my having to work up the courage to ask for one. She does things because she thinks they will make me feel good, and that's all.

It is hard to understand that there is no ulterior motive, and that she really just wants me to feel better...

I totally understand this feeling. My therapist is just so loving and very motherly towards me. I have my own business and had to do an outdoor event Friday night. A few weeks before she said, "If you are going to be a vendor I'd love to come and help you in your booth." I was like, "Whaaat?! Really?". She said, "Um, yeah. I'd really love to." Well, after her last client at work who do I see appearing around the corner with her lawn chair, a huge smile, and a big hug for me? My therapist!

We had so much fun. She was like my marketing agent or something, telling people how talented I was and how I make awesome quality products. My friend had a booth next to me and he is hilarious. He taught her how to do this funny dance. She was crackin' me up. She went and walked around a little to check out some of the other vendors and when she came back she had brought me some fruit and fancy, parmesan, french fries (fancy french fries...hehehe). What a combo?

So I totally get how you feel. Don't let anyone talk you out of that feeling. I feel very loved by and special to her. She genuinely cares about me and well being. She wants me to succeed and helps in any way that she can with that. She's been a real blessing to me.

[CantExplain]

It's quite common for Ts to love their patients.

[bamapsych]

Originally Posted by peridot28

I totally understand this feeling. My therapist is just so loving and very motherly towards me. I have my own business and had to do an outdoor event Friday night. A few weeks before she said, "If you are going to be a vendor I'd love to come and help you in your booth." I was like, "Whaaat?! Really?". She said, "Um, yeah. I'd really love to." Well, after her last client at work who do I see appearing around the corner with her lawn chair, a huge smile, and a big hug for me? My therapist!

We had so much fun. She was like my marketing agent or something, telling people how talented I was and how I make awesome quality products. My friend had a booth next to me and he is hilarious. He taught her how to do this funny dance. She was crackin' me up. She went and walked around a little to check out some of the other vendors and when she came back she had brought me some fruit and fancy, parmesan, french fries (fancy french fries...hehehe). What a combo?

So I totally get how you feel. Don't let anyone talk you out of that feeling. I feel very loved by and special to her. She genuinely cares about me and well being. She wants me to succeed and helps in any way that she can with that. She's been a real blessing to me.

I wish my T would do something like this with me in real life

[sconnie892]

I also feel like my t is genuinely caring. My t has very expressive eyes when I am sharing difficult things. (Despite her poker face at other times.) But her expression shows genuine caring and concern. It it a very nice feeling.

[Anne2.0]

I think your T really cares about you too.

Tentative it always sounds as though your t loves you from your posts! She is a keeper

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

It's quite common for Ts to love their patients.

My T says the word "love" is reserved for her family and probably close friends, not me. She says she has a special place in her heart for me, though, and that I'm very special. Once she wanted to know where I got the idea that Ts tell their clients they love them. I'll have to tell her "from my psych forums". I don't think it's that common. What about boundaries?

Wow. Something like that would never happen with my t! The ONLY time I've ever seen her outside her office was one time I forgot my water bottle and she brought it out to the parking lot for me. LOL I do feel genuine caring from my t, though. I sense some pretty firm boundaries however and so she has never and I would never expect her to say she loves me, even if that were true. Strangely enough I don't feel jealous.... I was waiting for jealousy to hit as I read your post.... the caring, safe and warm relationship I have with my t is exactly what I need and is perfect for me. (what I need vs what I might want that might not be as good for me.) Thanks for sharing and for helping me realize this! It's so cool how different everyone is and how some of our t's are so good at knowing what we need!

[stopdog]

I am glad the therapist is working out for you.

I want the therapist to stay out of my real life completely. That would not sound safe at all to me to have the woman around me. But I am glad that others have found therapists who work out for them in ways that are different from what I would tolerate.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

My T says the word "love" is reserved for her family and probably close friends, not me. She says she has a special place in her heart for me, though, and that I'm very special. Once she wanted to know where I got the idea that Ts tell their clients they love them. I'll have to tell her "from my psych forums". I don't think it's that common. What about boundaries?

I dont know that I would say she loves me...but she cares a lot. she used the term "unconditional caring".

and even that is not common in my experience....there has always been an emotional disconnect for me with my therapists, until this one. She is special. I think all her clients are lucky they found her.

[granite1]

wow i think it is so awsome tentative that you T cares so much but also that you can feel that and allow it to happen.that is an amazing thing . she is definately a keeper lol. someday i hope to be able to feel the same thing without the terror that comes with it.i'm working on it though.thanks for sharing this it was nice to read

Originally Posted by granite1

wow i think it is so awsome tentative that you T cares so much but also that you can feel that and allow it to happen.that is an amazing thing . she is definately a keeper lol. someday i hope to be able to feel the same thing without the terror that comes with it.i'm working on it though.thanks for sharing this it was nice to read

lol please believe that accepting/believing she cares has been (and still is) fraught with heaps of confusion, distress and terror.

But on Monday I had a terrible day and she knelt in front of me on her knees and massaged my feet because she wanted me to feel cared for. Who does that? Touch someones stinky feet just because you know they feel bad and you want to make them feel better while still feeling safe?