[Miswimmy1]

I am having some school issues and T could tell I was upset. she called me, I didn't pick up, and she left a message telling me that she wants to help with whatever is wrong and to call her back if I wanted. I am so ashamed to admit to her my school problems. she was just telling me the other day how happy she was that I was finally making friends and we even brainstormed activities that we could do over the weekend together (my friends and i). I am so ashamed to tell her that I ruined everything, that now I have no friends, and I have no idea how to fix it. I dont even know what went wrong. But my group of friends i guess dont want me, and the told me that. I feel so unwanted and all my abandonment issues have been triggered. this is why I dont trust anyone: everything that makes you happy gets taken away sooner or later.

[BonnieJean]

I'm sorry you're going thru a rough time at school. Nothing seems to happen in a straight line. There are starts and stops; set backs and advances we can learn from all of them. I'm sure your t will understand and give you the help she's offering.

Miswimmy. I am in no way minimizing what you are going through by my comments. I remember high school and a lot of it isn't pretty or fun.

A lot of teenage years is spent in social upheaval and drama. Every teenager goes through it to some extent or another... Your T know this and also knows that you can not control what a group of teenagers decide about you. But she could walk you through the situation to help you see how you could respond to it...if you ask her for help.

Call her back.

Did you call her back? Let her help you, we were all teens once.

[Miswimmy1]

no i didn't. im at school and i see her as soon as i get out, so i fgured that she will want to talk about it anyway... i really dont want to.

Just be honest with her and get off PC during class... LOL

[onlytime]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time at school. Interpersonal issues can get really complicated!

Did you end up seeing your T?

she was just telling me the other day how happy she was that I was finally making friends and we even brainstormed activities that we could do over the weekend together (my friends and i). I am so ashamed to tell her that I ruined everything

2 things:
1. Your T's job is to help you! While it's nice for T's to hear their clients are doing well, they know everyone has ups and downs and they want to help you!
2. You didn't "ruin everything". You've been struggling more but that doesn't make everything hopeless!

Hang in there!

[Bill3]

I, too, am wishing you well and wondering how things went with T and you are doing now.

[Miswimmy1]

Awful! Family emergency so I can't see t today! I can't go to school till I talk it out! I'm a bawling mess! I feel so hopeless

[Bill3]

I am really sorry to hear this news.

Think about ideas that help you regain calmness, maybe some breathing work?

[Miswimmy1]

I cried all night. Then fell asleep. Woke up. Bawling mess again... T is no help. I feel so so sick right now. I forgot meds two days in a row, I haven't eaten anything in a while, I hve my next class with these girls who hate me. I wanna go home!

[Bill3]

What a rough day. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry to hear this

YYZ

[~EnlightenMe~]

How are you doing now? Thinking about you!

[Miswimmy1]

The day was horrible! I had a panic attack because my mom said she couldn't pick me up. In the middle of a math test. I tried to get ahold of my t. Nothing. It was last period. I started crying and hyperventilating because my only other option was to go home with my dad. No! I can't!!!!! The learning specialist was out today (I work with her evey other day and she's the only one I feel somewhat comfortable with). The academic dean (the other person I feel somewhat close to was in a meeting. I had no where. I didn't know how long ppl were allowed to stay on campus. The only person I could go home with is the girl who is mad at me. I got up my gut to ask her if I could go home with her. She said yes. But she was going to take the bus downtown. Ive never been on a bus before (like a public bus). I was so so afraid. I couldn't tell my parents that I was getting myself home. No t. I decided to go with her. I ended up downtown. I live in the next town over. I had to transfer. Then get home. Took like an hour. I was almost in tears this whole time. It dropped me off outside my neighborhood. I had to walk in the freezing rain to my house. My mom pulled in the driveway as I was approaching the house. Didn't say a word to me. I started crying because of how hard of a day it was. Keep in mind that I haven't takn my medication for days, I hadnt eaten all day and when I did, I almost threw up, I was wet and cold and traumatized from riding all over town. My mom then GOT MAD at me for crying. I started bawling and bawling. Then I went swimming. Probably tore a ton of muscles. But it was th safest way to get my anger out. And now I'm out and that's where I stand now.

[Bill3]

Miswimmy1, that was an amazing accomplishment!

It was horrible, yes. But you did it! None of your usual supporters was available to help, you decided against your dad, got your gut up, asked the girl who is mad at you (was that the hardest part of all?), rode the public bus, transferred, walked in the freezing rain, dealt with your mother's anger. And after everything, after your mom got mad at you when you were freezing cold and dripping wet, you figured out "the safest way" and took that safest way. You went swimming!

I hope that it is okay to say that I am really really proud of you. That was a horrible situation and experience...and you overcame it!

[tigerlily84]

I agree with Bill3! It takes guts to do everything you did, and fing the safest way to calm down. Good for you! I really mean that. I am still struggling to find the best way to do the same. Everyone has rough days like this once in a while. The most important thing is how you get through it.
I'm really sorry to hear about the family emergency though! I'm here if you want to talk. I think you mentioned before that you see your T Saturday mornings, right? Are you able to see your T tomorrow?

[delicatefade26]

[Miswimmy1]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

Are you able to see your T tomorrow?

yes I am... i see her at 11. Im really nervous because I feel like after all of this, im just gonna start crying in her office

[~EnlightenMe~]

It's okay if you cry in therapy - you are being the real you if that's how you feel. You must have felt really angry, hurt, afraid, and like nobody was there for you. I am so sorry you had to go through this. Sending you lots of love I believe in YOU It will get better.

[Bill3]

Im really nervous because I feel like after all of this, im just gonna start crying in her office

What if you print out your #15 in this thread for her?

[tigerlily84]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

yes I am... i see her at 11. Im really nervous because I feel like after all of this, im just gonna start crying in her office

If you feel safe, then I think it's ok to cry in T. There's nothing wrong with crying. I was always told otherwise when I was younger and it's really messed me up. If you feel comfortable, you can do as Bill3 has suggested, and tell her how you felt and (most importantly) how you handled the situation. I guarantee that you'll feel better after you do.

[Bill3]

Originally posted by tigerlily84
There's nothing wrong with crying.

I agree!

[Miswimmy1]

She told me that she was so amazed at how I dealt with it all, and how great it was that even tho I was so distressed, I managed to get home and pull through.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I agree with her!