I have never felt so bad and so useless. I hate myself so much today. I am stuck in the past and can't move on or enjoy anything. I am dead.

[granite1]

you are not dead button .i know it may feel that way but you are not. i know what it is like to feel stuck in the past,it isn't fun at all.does you T teach you any skills to help you focus on the here and now.to help ground you. can you call and say this is how you are feeling. maybe get up and go someplace. do a small chore to help you feel a bit more productive.

[Miswimmy1]

Originally Posted by button30

I have never felt so bad and so useless. I hate myself so much today. I am stuck in the past and can't move on or enjoy anything. I am dead.

You are not bad. and you are not useless. I know how it is sometimes to feel like there is no purpose for living any more. But hang on. You are strong enough to get through this; I know you are. Can u do anything to distract yourself? Maybe watch a movie, or take a walk... write down your emotions, take a bubble bath... be kind to urself

[CantExplain]

((Button30))

When this happens to me, I try to remind myself it is the depression talking, and it will pass.

[mixedup_emotions]

((( button )))

I can relate to being in that bottomless pit...and am fighting not to allow myself to fall into it as well....it's an awful place to be. I hope you can find something to do to help keep you from staying where you are....even if you don't want to.

(( HUGS ))

[elliemay]

I'm glad you shared that with us, but I'm sorry you are feeling that way. It's kinda sucky.

I just sort of take a deep breath, tell myself "miles to go before I sleep" and keep moving.

Sometimes you just have to carry the suckiness around for awhile.

Originally Posted by button30

I have never felt so bad and so useless. I hate myself so much today. I am stuck in the past and can't move on or enjoy anything. I am dead.

i understand exactly how you feel... i feel the same way. been crying almost constantly for two days.

the little boy i sit for asked me if my day was better now that I was with him, and if I was as happy on the days i dont see him.

he's a little monster but he does cheer me up for a few hours a day, and I am glad.

I hope you find something/someone to do the same for you.

[Anne2.0]

I am sorry that you have to sit with these feelings now.

I have been there, many times, although not so much recently.

I can tell you, as one of the things I know for sure, that you will not always feel this way.

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words
Guess I have been feeling like this for a while now. I haven't seen T in five weeks and I miss her so much. I was trying to stay strong and manage without her but I don't think I can.
There is no one I can talk to about being gay only her and I feel so isolated and lonely right now I could just die.

[Nightlight]

Originally Posted by button30

I have never felt so bad and so useless. I hate myself so much today. I am stuck in the past and can't move on or enjoy anything. I am dead.

Me too button. So sorry you're feeling like that too.

Originally Posted by button30

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words
Guess I have been feeling like this for a while now. I haven't seen T in five weeks and I miss her so much. I was trying to stay strong and manage without her but I don't think I can.
There is no one I can talk to about being gay only her and I feel so isolated and lonely right now I could just die.

you can talk to me if you want! (i'm gay, too).

[carlibailey]

I feel like you do most of the time, I sit here on the sofa and wait for nighttime so I can be in bed. I take my medicine religiously and it still just keeps me awake but thats about it. My doctor suggested I have more shock treatments, but I hate getting those, I lost my memory and can't seem to have pull together chain of events. I really know how you feel, its comforting to know I'm not the only one.

Awh, thanks Tc. You know how hard it is and the struggle to accept yourself.

[Freefall1974]

Originally Posted by button30

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words
Guess I have been feeling like this for a while now. I haven't seen T in five weeks and I miss her so much. I was trying to stay strong and manage without her but I don't think I can.
There is no one I can talk to about being gay only her and I feel so isolated and lonely right now I could just die.

You can talk to me too. I am gay also. Single by choice and happy, but it took some work to get there.