Don't want to play in the game of therapy

You are making it this way....the beauty about T is honesty, brutal hardcore honesty...its like Vegas in a room.. What happens at session stays in session. This is our chance to try things. If T says something and you start reading between the lines, tell her what you hear compared to what she said. I agree with Sannah, its a learned behavior. I do the same thing with T, but I have gotten better at NOT doing it by recognizing that my mother would say one thing, but really meant another. As I child I was always having to decipher what she REALLY meant. Don't wonder about these things, just ask...T's are there to help us overcome these issues. Good Luck.

Maybe... I kind of just live in this mindset. Its awful. I dont know how it started. I was talking to t about it before, and she isnt really sure. She asked "Is there a point in time where you stopped trusting people? Did you *ever* trust people? Was there a point in time that your trust was broken?" and I had no answer. She thinks its because I was adopted. That its because I was old enough to bond with my caretakers, even though I have no memories of any of it. That I was torn away. And thats why I hav no trust in anybody.

I was glad to hear that you and T are back on good terms now. What your T said resonates with me, because there is a member of my family who was also adopted as a child (rather than infant) and has similar issues. Wants independence, not wanting to "lean" into family or support system. This goes back to trust, and maybe fear of abandonment. Sending you good thoughts as you work through these issues with T.