[sittingatwatersedge]

(sorry this is so huge, I don't know how to make it smaller!!
All
This was a show stopper when I read it; but I can't formulate an answer. What would you say?

[Sila]

Resized for ya, photobucket gives you the option when you upload and then edit it~

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d1...e-1024x754.jpg

[Miswimmy1]

I think that its a good question. I always thought that the hardest task in life is to accept what/who you are and love yourself as is. I feel like that is one of the greatest challenges in life, and that this is what life's journey is all about. I dont have an answer. But I do think that the goal in life is to discover the answer...

I feel like this is something we all struggle with. We recognize that others need help, but refuse to see we do also. We are quick to care for others yet don't extend that offer to ourselves.

I actually groaned out loud reading that. And now I am mentally totally going to run away and not think about it.

I've always known as a humanbeing I am both good/bad. Perhaps because I was made very aware at a young age that I carry badness too. This came in the firm of cruel accusations directed at myself. I struggled because of that believing in my goodness. So I find myself coming at your question from the other side.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

I've always known as a humanbeing I am both good/bad. Perhaps because I was made very aware at a young age that I carry badness too. This came in the firm of cruel accusations directed at myself. I struggled because of that believing in my goodness. So I find myself coming at your question from the other side.

I'm not sure you are coming at it from the other side. It's not like I believe myself to be a person of high virtue, quite the contrary.

theoretically I know we are all good/bad.
Therefore, theoretically, I am too.
But I can't find the good person.
Just someone who looked too long over the edge of the abyss, and by some miracle I cannot account for, isn't still pursuing the bad (except in cases where I fool myself into thinking I'm not, when I am. No one is without sin after all).
I know who I want to be. I don't believe that's me.
And I have no compassion for the person I know myself to be.
And yet...
I am to give alms and be kind to such a person
... so if the worst of them all is me, then what?
I cannot answer. Will I ever be able to answer?

[rainbow8]

Does it help to get validation from others that you are a good person? If enough others tell you that, will you believe it? I'm not asking this just to SAWE, but for everyone.

But I do want to say, SAWE, that as long as I "know you" on PC, I have seen the goodness in you. Maybe it doesn't count because it's not RL, but I think many of us know each a lot better on here than we know people in RL. So, I think it counts. But how do we get from others seeing the goodness in us to us seeing it for ourselves?

My T has always told me to have compassion for "all of my parts." From a religious standpoint, God sees the good in you.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Carl Gustave Jung, gotta love him He was brilliant!

As to what then? I think therapy, exploring onesself to figure out why there is such self-hatred, and trying to internalize kindness and compassion, amongst other things. Thanks for sharing.

[pbutton]

I don't understand what is upsetting. I read that and think that yeah, I do need to take care of myself. We all do. If I don't have my own back, that's a really dangerous place to be in.

(((((((SAWE)))))))

After working through some really hard stuff in therapy, I do sometimes find compassion for myself and for the child-me. I treasure those moments...they are fleeting, but they feel like a glimpse of Truth. Of course I deserve compassion, I intellectually get it. When I FEEL it, it feels like a moment of being "real", and of being right-sized. Not better than anyone else, but not worse either. Good enough.

I don't know if I can actively pursue those feelings for myself. It feels too hard. What I do is try to notice them when they arrive.

I've seen your goodness more times than I can count

The issue for me, pbutton, is I DON'T feel like I'm a good person. I see that horrible person within myself all the time. I have no compassion, no alms, for me. I don't feel like I deserve the same compassion I give others. I don't give it to myself. I don't expect the people I am closest to in my real life to give it to me. The thought that I DO deserve the same grace I give others is uncomfortable in many ways.

[unaluna]

I've been telling T, I don't know what love is, I don't what self-esteem means, compassion seems limited to when you're sick or something - but I am starting to believe or understand that I MATTER. I take a shower or go for a walk because I matter. I eat right because I matter. I didn't matter to the FOO.

I agree Jung was a genius. I love this quote of his. Thanks for sharing it.

[elliemay]

Strangely enough I found this quote/question to be very very comforting. I've been asking a lot of "what ifs" lately and it's proving quite useful.

I also think that fundamentally, this quote forms the basis of compassion. We offer it so freely to others because we seek it so desperately for ourselves. It never comes from the outside though. It is something only we can give ourselves ultimately - or at least accept for ourselves.