what's happening to me???

So.......... thinking of you today and hoping things are Ok with you.

bamapsych, what happened? Were you able to get those appointments?

I hope all of my PC frineds don't criticize me for this, but I didn't call her for several reasons. My last appointment is scheduled for December 3, which isn't too far away. I'd rather discuss the issue with her face to face so that I can sort of "read" her reaction rather than by phone/email. Another reason is that I don't want to bother her (sorry, always was "bothering" my mom). In the year that I've been with her, I've called 1-2 times and emailed maybe 3 times. She don't respond to email and it took 2 days to get a phone call returned. I'll let her spend the holidays in peace with her family and friends.

No one is going to criticize you bama, I think this is something a lot of us struggle with. It's a tough call (literally and figuratively).

Just last week I was struggling with the same decision - call or not?

Yes, we usually should call. Easier said than done.

Thanks for letting us know. I wish you a good holiday!

I totally understand why you didn't call. I am sure I would react the same way.

no criticism!! We do what we can, when we can. Just wanted to know if you were in a better place.

frankly it sounds like your 'wise mind' is working well.

Thanks for the support guys and gals

Update:

My session went well yesterday evening. I asked her if she had told the receptionists to limit my appointments in any way. She said she would not do anything like that. She said that's not how she works. I told her I thought she was making them be the bad guys so that she wouldn't have to be. Again, she said that is not the case. I must have misperceived something. I told her that I didn't fully trust her that I still think she may not be telling me the entire truth about the situation. Then I told her about all the issues I had after the last session. She asked if I felt like it was a dreamlike or surreal experience so I think that she thinks I was dissociated.

After this we had alot of heart to heart talk about it being my final session. It was a beautiful experience which is not at all what I was expecting. She told me I was free to come back anytime. I left feeling free and powerful. There are some things left unsaid by me that I'll probably have to have another session or two to review with her just for closure and so that I don't have any regrets.