[Screenager]

Her exact address. In the middle of a random convo. "Well, back when I moved to [...]..."

Why would she do that? Now I'm so tempted to go there.

What's worse is, I know she's on vacation now, so I wouldn't even have to be afraid of her "catching" me.

Argh. I'm so tempted, even though I know it would be strange and probably a boundary violation and I wouldn't even gain anything from seeing where she lives. But she's so important to me and I'm so curious. I'd feel somehow closer to her.

[Ike McCaslin]

Check it out on Google maps. You don't even have to drive by. If she hasn't been there long, you may be able to pull up the real estate listing, which may have pictures of the inside rooms.

[missbelle]

Be careful........would be alright maybe to drive by but anything other then that would not be good!!!

[Screenager]

I already looked at it on Street View, but... it's not "enough". I want to actually stand in front of it. Bizarre, I know.

[Miswimmy1]

im sry that this is a temptation. i know where my t lives too... and i hav had the urge to drive by. fight it... thats my opinion. also, i wouldnt' go search online. there is so much info on there... i was nosy and i learned my lesson. i know everything about her house... price its worth, how many sq feet, how many bedrooms, how old it is, etc. knowing does nothing but make you want more. fight it... if you can. thats all i can say

[autotelica]

Personally, I don't see the big deal in driving by, as long as you don't make it habit* or ever make your presence known.

Sometimes the "not knowing" makes something a bigger deal than it is.



*I sometimes walk past my therapist's house. I don't try to peek through the windows or anything and I'm mindful about staying away when I could bump into her. But I walk all over town. Her street is not off-limits to me just because she lives there, and she knows this. Sometimes she'll ask if I've been by lately (usually when she's talking about her garden), and I will tell her if I have. So far she doesn't seem bothered that I know where she lives. I assume that she wouldn't have told me her address if she didn't trust me.

[Sunne]

I think once you drove by you'd be like "Meh, it's just a house.." Maybe?

My T works out of his house (separate entrance)! At first I was fascinated but it's really no big deal now. I've never driven by randomly, as I think that would violating his space. He trusts his clients a lot by letting them come to his home. So I respect that! T telling you her address means she respects you and trusts you. That's good to hold onto, more than seeing her house... I believe anyways.

[rainbow8]

I've seen 5 Ts. 2 had T in their houses so that was fine. I drove by the other T's houses once each. I think I told them I did it.

I drove by my current T's house when she was out-of-town. I felt guilty because it was "off the beaten path" and I never would have gone down those streets otherwise. I told her about it. She wasn't angry with me but I know she didn't like it. I never did it again. I've told her what I really wish is that I could go inside of her house with her. Fortunately, she has a lot of her things in her office so I get a "sense" of her.

I don't think it's weird to want to do it but you will feel guilty if you do it and don't tell your T that you did.

[QuietCat]

My T once rambled off his home address in front of me when he was taking a call from UPS or something. I memorized it and Google mapped it. I've completely forgotten the exact address now, but I know it's in a rich part of the city and much bigger than I imagined. I was too afraid he would see me if I drove by it, so I didn't. But I don't really think driving by your T's place would be a big deal if it was just a one time sort of thing.

I figured if T thought I was a stalker he would never have said his address in front of me.

My t just gave me her new home address yesterday. She's going to be working out of a home office now that she's moved. I already had known she was going to work out of her house once she moved, but was still surprised when she gave me that address instead of a po box or something to mail my checks to for our phone sessions.

But I'm glad she did! I'm glad because after she did, a couple hours after we got off the phone, I realized something that proved to me once and for all (not that I really needed any more proof than how good I feel and how well I am handling life in general now) that I'm winding down my therapy at the right time: 1) I don't feel the need to do anything with the information other than mail her the checks and 2) I'm not a bit jealous of her new clients that she takes on being able to go to her house.

that 2nd one really surprised me. When she first told me she'd be seeing clients in her home office, I kept expecting to get madly jealous of said future clients (based on how I used to feel seeing the clipboard with a new patient sheet on the desk in her waiting room, i used to want to rip the paper and stomp it into the floor and say no my T! ha.) But I haven't felt like that now. All I feel is happy that she'll be able to help people like me in a new city! Amazing ain't it?

did i ever say how amazing my t is that she could help me get to the place I'm at now?!

I know fairly close where my T lives mainly because he's told us what the major intersection is by his house; my husband happened to have had a car accident practically across his back fence a few years ago which is how it came up.

My first T actually took me to his home one night as a safe-house when one of my abusers decided to come our direction; T didn't want to risk my safety should the abuser find me at my apartment. (His wife and sons were home.) I doubt I would have been able to ever find the house again though. I wasn't particularly paying attention to where he was driving at the moment.

I've never been particularly curious to find my therapists' homes. That isn't "our" environment so it really doesn't hold any meaning for me.

[sconnie892]

I know the neighborhood my t lives in. I drive past it on my way to work. But it's a "no outlet" road, so I have no reason to drive down there. Sometimes I see t driving because her house is in the same area where I work. I guess I've never been curious enough to actually drive by her house. I don't think I would get anything out of knowing what her house looks like.

Its really just a house. There isnt anything special about where your t lives. I used to go pick my t up for sessions when her car broke down. It was just a house. She had clients sit on the curb across from her house and stalk her, it used to piss her off and she would call the police. Not that what youre talking about is doing that!! My husband is a T and it would be so weird to have his clients want to see our private rooms and stuff. I would be like, here, you want to see where he leaves the dirty towels on the floor ?? you want to see his piles of paperwork all over the house ? Would it help his clients to know that he is a total hoarder and cant throw anything out?

[elliemay]

I think it's fairly normal to be curious about where your therapist lives. I know I was because I wasn't entirely convinced in my head that he existed outside the office.

It's kinda like what farmergirl said, the office was our space.

[possum220]

I think it was inappropriate for your T to tell you exactly where she lives.

It would be a good idea for you to let her know that you are now struggling with the information.

[Screenager]

Re: what some have said... I did appreciate that she apparently trusts me so much to tell me her home address. That's the one thing that felt really good about this.

As of right now, I don't think I'll drive by her place anytime soon. It's quite the trip from where I live and there's a chance I'll only end up depressed anyway because I can't get close to her.

[likelife]

I found out where my T lives online (she's listed in the phone book, so it wasn't like I went out of my way to figure it out). I drove by twice, years ago, when I was pretty sure she wouldn't be home. I felt so icky about it that I never told her. I don't really have any urges to drive by anymore; at the time, it was a way for me to try to feel closer to her.

I think you're wise, screenager, for not driving by for now. Sometimes my curiosity feels insatiable, and feeding it only makes it hungrier.