[CreamCheese]

I hope this is ok to post here?
my therapist is being awful and still telling me I'm choosing not to get better and to feel like this. I don't know what to do because she's not helping me get better just telling me I'm not trying hard enough. We haven't done anything like CBT except for 2 exercises (in 4/5 months?). I don't know how to fix myself like this? because I have tried so hard and nothing I try helps.
I saw my school GP the other day and wrote her a letter about how I'm feeling and she made me have hourly checks for the rest of the day.
I saw the psych a few days after that and gave her the letter aswell and was told I was telling them for attention. I don't know how to fix this. I thought you were supposed to see your GP/psych for things like this but I get told its for attention? I'm feeing incredibly desperate and not that sure that I can stop myself if I decide to do something. I understand that technically it is a choice if I decide to do anything but the feelings that cause me to think like this aren't my choice and they're what are too hard and painful to deal with.
What would you do if you felt like you were screaming for help and to make this stop and no one was helping you?

Originally Posted by CreamCheese

I hope this is ok to post here?
my therapist is being awful and still telling me I'm choosing not to get better and to feel like this. I don't know what to do because she's not helping me get better just telling me I'm not trying hard enough. We haven't done anything like CBT except for 2 exercises (in 4/5 months?). I don't know how to fix myself like this? because I have tried so hard and nothing I try helps.
I saw my school GP the other day and wrote her a letter about how I'm feeling and she made me have hourly checks for the rest of the day.
I saw the psych a few days after that and gave her the letter aswell and was told I was telling them for attention. I don't know how to fix this. I thought you were supposed to see your GP/psych for things like this but I get told its for attention? I'm feeing incredibly desperate and not that sure that I can stop myself if I decide to do something. I understand that technically it is a choice if I decide to do anything but the feelings that cause me to think like this aren't my choice and they're what are too hard and painful to deal with.
What would you do if you felt like you were screaming for help and to make this stop and no one was helping you?

HI Creamcheese,
Sorry you are in this difficult situation
It is true some people exaggerate their feelings and thoughts to get attention but I don't think you are doing this for attention. Do you genuinely feel that you are working hard at your therapy and applying things you have learned from t to real life?
If the answer is yes then I would consider changing your therapist maybe therapy with this T is doing you more harm then good right now. Perhaps this particular relationship with this T isn't working. it happens sometimes.

[Miswimmy1]

It sounds to me like you need a new t. As button said, it is true that some ppl do exxagerate to get attention. However, this does not sound like the case for you, and if you can't convince them that you are serious, then I would really get a new t.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

... agree with above posters, but in the meantime, stay safe!

[CreamCheese]

Thats it though therapy has taught me nothing? except to validate my fears of telling people stuff and their reactions... What does someone normally get from therapy? sorry if this is a stupid question but I have no idea about this stuff at all!
I feel like she hates me because I can't speak at times but this is not in my conscious control and leads to like hyperventilating but this happens when I'm alone way more than with her (so its NOT for attention it scares me if I'm honest).
Do you think going to my GP could be a good idea? My one at home is different to the school one. How would they help or not?
Thanks

[~EnlightenMe~]

I would find a new therapist. This one sounds invalidating. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Only you know what is going on inside of you, and if your therapist doesn't take you seriously, maybe you could interview some new therapists to find a better fit. Take care.

[Sannah]

I agree, many people have to try a few therapists before they find a good fit. You deserve better. If you already knew how to get better why would you need a T!

Agree, I would try a new therapist. Are you on any medications?

First of all ... ...

Your therapist saying this to you is the same as if she told a paralyzed person in a wheelchair that they aren't trying hard enough to walk ... Both are horridly inappropriate ... !!!

I agree it's time to find a new therapist, and feel free to show this post to the other one as you're walking out the door ... She needs further education on what is and isn't appropriate to say to a person struggling with mental health issues.

,
Pfrog!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by CreamCheese

I hope this is ok to post here?
my therapist is being awful and still telling me I'm choosing not to get better and to feel like this. I don't know what to do because she's not helping me get better just telling me I'm not trying hard enough. We haven't done anything like CBT except for 2 exercises (in 4/5 months?). I don't know how to fix myself like this? because I have tried so hard and nothing I try helps.
I saw my school GP the other day and wrote her a letter about how I'm feeling and she made me have hourly checks for the rest of the day.
I saw the psych a few days after that and gave her the letter aswell and was told I was telling them for attention. I don't know how to fix this. I thought you were supposed to see your GP/psych for things like this but I get told its for attention? I'm feeing incredibly desperate and not that sure that I can stop myself if I decide to do something. I understand that technically it is a choice if I decide to do anything but the feelings that cause me to think like this aren't my choice and they're what are too hard and painful to deal with.
What would you do if you felt like you were screaming for help and to make this stop and no one was helping you?

around here in NY which is in the USA its one thing to complain about a treatment provider to another treatment provider expecting them to take your side and them fix the situation for you (in psych terms this is called triangulating, attention seeking behavior)

its another situation to approach another treatment provider and say this is whats happening, do you have any ideas that ****I*** can do?

if you are doing the first way of going to your other treatment providers expecting them to fix the problem for you by them going up against the treatment provider that you are having a problem with then yea I can see why they are saying you are doing this for attention. some times this kind of behavior can be seen as childish behavior equivelent to two children fighting and expecting their parents to step in and fix the problem when the children have the communication skills and are old enough to work out their own problems with those they are having a problem with. they may be seeing the problem between you and the therapist to be in your hands and they think you are capable of talking with your therapist and working this out with your therapist without the intervention of a third/forth party.

I can also see your therapists side of thinking you are not trying hard enough and what not. not because thats what you are doing or not, but because therapists naturally have to consider that side of things if they have been working with the client and things like they are not getting better, or they are refusing to try the things the therapist is asking them to do. its just one of those things therapists are taught to consider under certain situations.

my suggestion.. change your approach to this situation. instead of seeking out your other treatment providers sit down with your therapist and say something like ok lets talk, you say Im not trying hard enough and I say I am. tell me what you mean. what kinds of things are telling you Im not trying hard enough. then really listen, don't go off on the first thing she says that you dont like or dont want to hear. this is to get the information you need that will tell you what you need to do to get better. this is how people find out how to "do" therapy and whats expected of them from their therapist.

After you have heard everything she is seeing that led her to believe you dont want to get better, then you can respond to those things she told you, and ask questions about how you can change, get better, move forwards in your healing.

therapy isnt always about doing CBT, DBT and other therapy approaches. its about someone having a problem, talking to the therapist about that problem and then together the therapist and the one in therapy talk about how to fix that problem and the last step of therapy is the person in therapy (not the therapist) making changes and doing the things the therapist and person in therapy talked about.

think of it kind of like school ..you go to school, talk with the teachers, learn new things and you change how you think and do things, then you not the teacher goes home and you do the homework of things you did in school.

thats what therapy is for,..you pick a problem, you talk with your therapist about it, you and your therapist talk about ways to fix, change, the problem and way you think about that problem, then you go home and fix your problem by using everything you and your therapist talked about.

[adel34]

Hi Cream Cheese,
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I don't believe you're doing anything for attention either, and it really sounds like you need a new t.
For someone just starting therapy, asking what people normally get out of it is a perfectly good question!
I think every person probably gets something different out of therapy. For me, it's all about the relationship. Feeling safe with the person, like you can share about your life, or just be in the room, however you are, and the t will validate your feelings, and be there for you in a nurturing supportive way. Everything you do I believe has to start with this foundation, which obveously isn't there with this therapist!
I actually would not recommend talking to this person and trying to figure things out. She sounds so unprofessional that I'm afraid she would make the situation worse. You talked about problems with talking, I'd hate to have this stress you out more. I'd just leave and try and find another more supportive t. Look online, psychology today is great. Or talk to your GP, either the school one, or at home, for names.
Then get a sense of how a few people are, and then you can choose which one would be best. Feel free to tell them about this experience, it might help a good t to be even that much more sensitive to you and your needs if they know that all you're going on with therapy is this bad experience.
Let us know how things go!

I agree with the others, sounds like you need a new t. It's so worth not giving up, keep trying until you find the right one for you - I found the perfect t for me on my 3rd try. And I found her on the psychology today website actually. Best wishes and do let us know how it goes!