[franki_j]

I don't really want to bump up my old thread since it says something I am not comfortable with, but I am feeling pretty anxious about making it to to T on time and have been drinking.
I don't want to email T since we had a discussion a couple weeks ago that my emails had been getting excessive, but it just sucks being stressed out about making it on time. Even though realistically I should be OK I just have this fear about being late and her just leaving and not waiting for me since I am her last client. Or something along those lines. I also just don't like not being in control of when I get to leave to see T. When I was in school , I saw her on Fridays, when I didn't have to work at my part-time job and had no class, and I would always leave an hour and a half early and I was able to do that. Now I am on someone else's time, and am less in control of when I can leave. Sorry for ranting about this.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Is there anyway that you can take control of the situation? Have you talked to your boss? Just wondering. WIshing you the best. Keep posting and let us know how it goes.

[mixedup_emotions]

I don't blame you at all for feeling anxious. Recently, I was very anxious about something that I wasn't able to predict the outcome of...and T kept trying to get me to accept that since I could not predict the outcome, I was wasting energy on being anxious about it. Nothing I did could change the fact that I was not able to determine the outcome at that very moment. He told me to envision the worst case scenario and plan for it. What's the worst that can happen? And what would I do about it?

Does your T know that there's the potential for you to be late? It might be important for you to discuss this with your T and have a plan in place.

(( HUGS ))

[franki_j]

My boss and I don't exactly have the type of relationship where I can tell her I need to see my therapist lol. The people at work do know I have "class" at 6:00 pm on Tuesdays, but this meeting should only go a couple minutes past 5 if it does at all, so I don't think they would understand if I said I had to be out a couple minutes before 5.
I have to take the subway, and if you are late by even one minute, you miss the train and have to wait for another one. That is why I like leaving a couple minutes before 5, so I can ensure that I don't miss the train.
Whatever, I am probably just freaking out over nothing, but the subways make it hard. And MUE, I totally agree, that I have no control over this, so I should stop worrying about it, but it's easier said than done.

Have you mentioned the situation to your T? I'd think all it would take is just letting your T know there is a possibility you could be a few minutes late because of this situation. Shouldn't be a big deal to do that, right?

[Wren_]

I like the suggestion Chris made also; might be easier than trying to work it out at work

[franki_j]

Yeah, I have told her that I might be a couple minutes late, so I should stop worrying so much. It is just that I am very rarely late to see her, and my schedule has been so all over the place with work.

So your T knows you might be late. Let it go now. Your T knows the situation and will know if you aren't there right away the reason why. Trust your T a bit here.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Now that I know more, I also think that since your T knows you might be late, that it won't be a problem. I get that your worry doesn't have to be rational to be a worry, believe me It helps me to be mindful during these times, which for me means that I accept that I 'feel' worried, I accept that my feeling may not reflect how things are, try to notice both without running with them or fighting them, and this often will help me deescalate. I don't know if that makes sense, but I have a mindfulness meditation tape, and this theory has really helped me. Keeping you in my thoughts.

[pbutton]

I've been there. A million times. Want to try what I do? When I get like this, I start FORCING myself to break the cycle. Every time you think about what it would be like to be late, stop that line of thinking & push yourself to picture what it will be like to leave work on time & arrive on time. Do it over and over and over. Each time the bad comes up, add some good to it. At the very least, you'll start to feel like you're more in control of your thoughts.

[franki_j]

Thanks so much for the support guys. I realize that part of me is being illogical. I will just think about seeing my T tomorrow and keep telling myself that I am going to see her, that nothing is going to happen to prevent that. I will look at this thread at work for support to keep me from freaking out.

[franki_j]

So I was 15 minutes early for my appointment, even had time to grab something quick to eat on the way there . All my worrying for nothing. I did feel a little awkward leaving because my supervisor gave me all these things to do and then I left like 20 minutes after, at 4:55, even though I probably should have stayed till 6 since we have an event coming up that I am in charge of.

But my T told me I was taking care of myself and that was important, and she is right and plus I have tomorrow to do them. Also, I was telling my T everything about my job and this event and that I'm stressed out about it because I'm new to the job, etc. and as I was leaving she was like "You go girl" and gave me a thumbs up and I just busted out laughing. It was so awkwardly sweet of her.

[janealizabeth]

I agree with people who said that you should tell your therapist. Also, the next time you have a session, may be you could discuss this with her-to create a plan B incase you did get late sometime. You never know, she might provide you with a workable alternative that'll make you feel like you don't have to worry. Also, this anxiety over getting late and not being in control is something you might consider discussing with her. Will give her more insight into your thought process and would help her give you more feedback on techniques you could use to manage your thoughts when you feel this way again. Hope this helps.