T s style

This thread is very interesting to me, perhaps because my experience is so different. My T dresses professionally, always looks put together and certainly has her own sense of style, but I would not call her "stylish." Rather, it's always my T pointing out my clothes and telling me that she likes my sense of style. She'll also point to my purse or shoes and say something like "where did you get them" and then she'll have no idea when I tell her the brand (and she'll often mispronounce the brand, once I tell her). In fact, I mentioned once before about having a dream where I gave my T a makeover. I cannot tell you how much I wish I really could do my T's hair, make-up, and clothes. My T always looks nice and I do appreciate her sense of style because it's hers-- but I think she could look super cute if she let me use some of my make-up, hair, and clothing tricks on her. Her style is very plain and natural-- I'm a little more dressy and fashionable. I'm not suggesting that my way is "better"-- I would simply enjoy glamming her up for a day. (And yes, I told her this, and she laughed and said that she'd probably love the makeover I would give her. However, we both know that it's not appropriate for a client to play "dress up T").

Why not? It's only a game.

Is the reverse also true?

My therapist didn't give me an extreme make-over, but once she did put some make-up on me. She always says that I'm beautiful, but I think my plainjane ways drive her up the wall. So one day she whipped out her foundation and rogue and went to work on me.

My therapist is funny, because as progressive as she is politically and socially, she has some crazy "old school" ideas. Like, she once told me that people probably think I'm a lesbian since I don't wear make-up and I like gardening!

My pdoc is always dressed impeccably and yes she likes her jewelry also. I tend to be distracted by the jewelry it is beautiful stuff.

There was a thread once on PC about what kind of animal your T would be and while I never replied to it, my thought was my T is a Peacock.

Always put together well!

Aw, I think that's sweet.

I once told my T that I had awful trouble as a teen trying to get my make-up right, because I didn't have my mum's input or guidance, no older sister to learn from... I told her what a bother I had trying to find the right shade, things like that. My T looked at me and said something about the services they offer at the make-up counters in the department stores. Ha, right. Those flawless-looking make-up-counter girls STILL intimidate me and make me feel ugly! I feel like she missed the point I was actually trying to make.

I would say my T is quite attractive and stylish, but she's usually in her 'work' clothes - so, nicely/smartly dressed, but understated - and she doesn't tend to wear much makeup, either.

I think I would only find what T was wearing to be distracting if it seemed incongruous with her 'image'..

There was one week I did find her hair 'style' to be quite distracting, at first...! She answered the door pointing at her head and apologising for being 'unprepared' - I gather she'd just taken her rollers out, and hadn't had time to tease the curls, or do whatever it is one does when one takes ones rollers out... Well. She looked completely batty. Her hair springing out this way and that. Talk about shattering illusions! Very human. Endearing. Bless her, she sat there and conducted the whole session with her hair like that, just like usual, like nothing was amiss... I wondered if there was any better way to model having good confidence and self esteem? One one my favourite therapy memories, T's batty hair day.

Button does her dress bother you , because you are comparing yourself to her some how? This would be a good subject of conversation just to find the reason why.

Did this bother you when she did it? I would have been enraged.

...........................

What's up Lola? You okay?

Lol... Yes thanks, just made a mistake and didnt wanna hijack the thread

it does kind of bother me Lola. I don't know why exactly but today she was wearing the most boring sensible clothes. A jumper and black pant. Don't worry about hijacking the thread Lola feel free.

Not at all. I can't remember the little details, but I'm sure she asked first. It's not like she just came at me with her brush and attacked me.

My t has done stuff like that for me too and i thought it was very sweet.

Originally Posted by autotelica
My therapist didn't give me an extreme make-over, but once she did put some make-up on me. She always says that I'm beautiful, but I think my plainjane ways drive her up the wall. So one day she whipped out her foundation and rogue and went to work on me.

My therapist is funny, because as progressive as she is politically and socially, she has some crazy "old school" ideas. Like, she once told me that people probably think I'm a lesbian since I don't wear make-up and I like gardening!

I find the interaction objectionable on any number of levels!

Same here. I would have lost it.

I guess there's no accounting for taste.

I don't see it as a matter of taste; rather as intrusive, shaming, therapeutically odd, and homophobic behavior.

What's important, however, is your feeling about it.

I guess I don't see a big deal in someone saying, "You've got the most gorgous cheekbones. Would you like to see what they look like with a little blush?"

My therapist is a character and I know she isn't best therapist in the world. But this was an innocent gesture of kindness.

I know everyone has an opinion about what happens in other people's therapies. I just wish people would actually try to find out more information before making proclamations about how outrageous or inappropriate something is.

For what's worth, I don't see why it would be so wrong to give a therapist a make-over if they didn't have a problem with it and it served some greater purpose. So maybe I'm just clueless about a lot of things.

I find it as an act of kindness and rather endearing and as you didn't object Auto I don't see a think wrong with. it. I see it as T trying to do what she thinks is best for you:-)
:-)

If you want people to have more info before posting an opinion, maybe you could offer more. This was your OP: (underlining mine)

"She always says that I'm beautiful, but I think my plainjane ways drive her up the wall. So one day she whipped out her foundation and rogue and went to work on me.

My therapist is funny, because as progressive as she is politically and socially, she has some crazy "old school" ideas. Like, she once told me that people probably think I'm a lesbian since I don't wear make-up and I like gardening!"

The underlined words created the impression that I responded to. I see a huge difference in emphasis between the two versions. I didn't tell you how you should feel, nor what you should do. In fact, I clarified just the opposite.

Thing is, a lot of people would see that as incredibly intrusive. I know I would. I get angry just by imagining anybody saying that to me; done to me it would not be an act of kindness, but an act of patronising and shaming and invalidating who I am, and a T who did not understand that is not somebody who could help me at all. But obviously, since people are so different (as seen in this thread!), this is where the T's training and abilities in knowing what different people need, and how different people will react, comes into play. For you, this was the right thing to do and I'm glad your T did it for you (but I'm also glad that she asked you before she did it!)

To return to the OT, I would imagine that bringing up what bothers you, button, and trying to understand why it bothers you - without making it something about the T but rather about your reactions - might be really helpful.