[sittingatwatersedge]

T: .... so there's no obligation there, you really have no grounds to feel guilty.
SAWE: well OK ... but ... this is me, you know.
T (with a rueful laugh): Yes, I know. And I'm trying to help.

does it sound strange, at that moment I could feel that she cared about me, about my healing...? it was easy for me to laugh too. it was a memorable moment.

Care to relate one of your own?

[roads]

Glad you posted this this ~ it is memorable!

SAWE, are these great moments, or can we include funny moments that just made us laugh and feel connected?

For instance, my T has this teeny weeny TINY wastebasket. I had my water cup and then started to throw it in there and realized it was going to take up like a fourth of the wastebasket, so I stopped and didn't throw it in. T looked at me funny and I said I would wait to throw the cup away because the trashcan is so tiny. T said, "so you refuse to throw trash in my trashcan? MKAC, that's just weird." I said, "you're my therapist. You're not allowed to call me weird!" and we both started laughing really hard. Probably not that funny, or GREAT, but . . .

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

are these great moments, or can we include funny moments that just made us laugh and feel connected? .

yes yes all of them. Lightbulbs, laughs, moments of connection, sudden consciousness of one's growth, all the great moments. Fitting tribute, for the last month of the year you know. for all who work so hard at this strange, difficult task, week after week after week.

[franki_j]

I have one from last week. When I was getting dressed the morning of my appointment, I put on a pair of gray slacks and a baggy, longish black sweater. I looked in the mirror and said "I look like T," and immediately took off what I was wearing (we have very different tastes in clothing, hers is very conservative and covered up, mine is more colorful and form-fitting.)
I told T this in our appointment and she laughed and said "Oh you don't like my stylish clothes? I'm old lady." and I laughed and told her she wasn't old. It was just funny to me because we do dress so differently and I would never wear what she wears and vice versa. I like that in some ways, ie our dress, we are so different, so it was nice to be able to joke about it and acknowledge it.

I had a pizza delivered to my session once.
I paid the guy an extra 10 bucks just to barge in the office.
about 5 minutes before he barged in, I was going on about a fear someone barging in and learning all my secrets.
we laughed and ate pizza.
that incident got analyzed over the next 3 sessions

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by nothingtolivefor

I had a pizza delivered to my session once.
I paid the guy an extra 10 bucks just to barge in the office.
about 5 minutes before he barged in, I was going on about a fear someone barging in and learning all my secrets.
we laughed and ate pizza.
that incident got analyzed over the next 3 sessions

Omg, thank you so much for sharing this!!! That is so funny, and I so desperately needed that now. !!!:-) I don't remember good times with my xT. It sounds like your T couldn't RESIST eating. Lol

[Nightlight]

This happened in my second ever session I think. I was dragged along to the first session by a family member who did all the talking. I'd not really received any help from another person before that session. I thought you had to do everything yourself and had no concept of being able to be helped or supported by another person. I'd never have gone to T on my own. I was barely, barely holding onto life at that point though. So barely. So, at the first session on my own, my T ended up saying that we needed to get me well enough, so I could own another horse again (a rideable horse, unlike my current retired one).

Firstly, she seemed to think it was possible that I could be better than I was. That was astonishing to me. I'd lived me whole life like this, it was just who I was. I was smart enough to think my way out of my situation...except clearly I couldn't think my way out of it, so there was no hope for me. I mean, talking and support wasn't going to help me fix my dire situation, was it? I just had to think my way out of it, but I couldn't. Yet after hearing everything about how incapable and pathetic I was (at the time I had no hope, no qualifications or job, I couldn't drive on my own, I wasn't brave enough to make simple phone calls, I didn't want to be alive, the list was endless), she thought there was hope for me AND that she could help me. She also picked up on the one and only thing I had left in my life at that point that I would actually hold on for. Horses. I thought she was amazing. I'd barely held on for the six previous months, and she gave me the biggest piece of hope that anyone had ever given me, just like that.

And she did stick around while I learned to make phone calls, drive on my own, volunteer with skills I already had, attend job interviews, learn new professions, and finally while I returned to study too. I guess she was right about me and I was right about her too.

Oh, and she was the first T I'd ever seen too. How lucky was that?

I have one. I told T that I had had one too many margaritas the weekend before that session and had told H about my being bisexual. She asked how he took it, and I related how he had made some quip like "oh now I can bring home another woman and spank her!" (to which I replied, "Ah, NO.") I told T, see, he's crazy. She replied "Well, one of you is anyway!" I yelled "HEY!" We both got a lot of laughs out of that little discussion! LOL

[struggling2]

i have many great T moments but ill give you two recent ones from the week long trauma intensive i attended that was put on by her....

1.) T knows I cant cook and that my mom never let me cook for myself and she never took the time to show me basic things to cook....at the intensive one night the cooks had made chili in the crock pot and T decided to make grilled cheese and she was like "hey struggling, why dont you help me make the grilled cheese?"....i thought it was very sweet and touching. something so simple and basic can be such a big deal. i got to do something normal and maternal with T that my mom never did with me.

2.) at the end of the intensive, and 4 very emotional hard days.....T gave me a huge tight hug and whispered "thank you for trusting me" and then gave me a very motherly kiss on the cheek. it was sweet.

[LadyShadow]

I had one today, its so funny you made this thread today! I gave my T a Christmas present. It wasn't anything fancy, it was just a nice pen in a rosewood box. It just so happened to match a box he had on his desk. He told me he will leave it here for all to see what his "favorite client" gave him and it was so nice of me to give it to him. He looked like he would cry. It was a very special moment for me because he has saved me more times than I can imagine.

[likelife]

Pretty much any time I can get myself out of my anxiety and weirdness enough to tease my T is a good moment. Dang, I wish I could remember one now!

This seems really minor, but a nice moment for me recently was when I told my T that I had missed her. I tell her that I miss her all the time in emails, but never face-to-face. I finally screwed up the courage to say it, and she smiled, and simply said, "Ditto." I did my best not to pick it apart with my mind afterwards, and to just let it be good.

ETA: I love this thread, btw. Thanks for starting it, SAWE!

This is my most recent.
Btw, when i call my t, Her called i.d. Shows me as "unknown"

I attemptd going to a support group that she talked me into but i left an hour before the group was over-- i had been texting her during the group saying that it basically sucked
As i walked out an hour early i called her
First thing she said when she picked up her phone was "get your a$8 back in there!"

Good thing She lucked out that it was ME and not another unknown caller... Cuz can you imagine what another person would have though being greeted by that?

[Nightlight]

Originally Posted by likelife

I love this thread, btw. Thanks for starting it, SAWE!

Ditto to that too, btw.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Nightlight

And she did stick around while I learned to make phone calls, drive on my own, volunteer with skills I already had, attend job interviews, learn new professions, and finally while I returned to study too.

Do you have a rideable horse now?

[AngelWolf3]

Ok, so last week we were talking about how someone at my workplace says some inappropriate things to me, and she was doing well to hide how she felt about it. (she has always been very calm, and soft-spoken), and then right in the middle of being very "therapist-y" she says, "I think that his inability to handle you is FRIGGIN ridiculous..." and then stopped, with this shocked look on her face, and apologized profusely. She said that popped out because she felt so strongly about his behavior...I just totally sat there open mouthed, and then burst out laughing. It showed me she is human with a great sense of humor. I love her even more for this comment! Because it's true. she even said friggin! I can't believe it! I never thought she would ever use anything but proper grammar!

[WikidPissah]

ugh...with XT (of course). I hate that he's the only t I have ever connected with.

anyhow...

I had been seeing him about 4 mos and his father died. I expressed sympathy in the next session, and he told me some things about his father. I opened up and talked about my own father's death. We had an intense connection that session. He let down his t guard. He patted me on the arm when I left and said "thanks". I knew he meant it.

ok..now time to cry about xt.

[Nightlight]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Do you have a rideable horse now?

After my last dog died I sort of ended up with a pony sized dog Still just the retired horse...maybe one day.

Love everyone's stories. Thanks for sharing them. So often the therapy process is so grueling. After my bad month, I was ready to hear about some funny, great, and more connected moments. It's nice to be reminded of the good stuff sometimes.

[feralkittymom]

This is a really nice thread, especially when so many seem to be neck deep in December T angst!

I guess one moment that I've been remembering recently happened in the last few months of therapy. Understand that we'd been through just over 10 years of therapy, pretty much everything had been resolved, and we were winding down. We were revisiting an old painful memory, and had reached one of those quiet, post intensity moments. After a few minutes of silence, T said softly, "FKM, do you want me to be your Father?"

It was an offer. He wasn't asking about my fantasies. I was stunned that he could know of a wish I had never dared to fully acknowledge to myself, let alone to articulate. And that he would extend his caring for me in such a heartfelt way.

It's not like he's adopted me or anything, but he has been my Father emotionally and in terms of his steadfastness in my life since therapy ended 15 years ago.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by nothingtolivefor

I had a pizza delivered to my session once.
I paid the guy an extra 10 bucks just to barge in the office.
about 5 minutes before he barged in, I was going on about a fear someone barging in and learning all my secrets.
we laughed and ate pizza.
that incident got analyzed over the next 3 sessions

My T would want to talk to you about your "need to be in control".

[CantExplain]

One of my great moments is when T and I unpacked a dishwasher together.
There's really nothing to tell.
It was just that she accepted me in a role other than that of patient.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

My T would want to talk to you about your "need to be in control".

that's exactly what we talked about lol

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by nothingtolivefor

that's exactly what we talked about lol

I don't understand how that is controlling? Just wondering.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Antimatter

I don't understand how that is controlling? Just wondering.

Not controlling T, per se, but it is a pretty dramatic way to seize control of the agenda.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Not controlling T, per se, but it is a pretty dramatic way to seize control of the agenda.

Oh, lol.