[retro_chic]

I think it went really well. I sent her an email saying that I miss her a lot in between sessions and I think I am feeling too attached to her. I said that since I don't really know her as a person that this must be some sort of transference thing but I don't know where it is coming from.

My T was really glad that I brought it up and we discussed in depth where the transference comes from for me and stuff like that. She said she has worked through transference issues with many clients and only one of them was not able to get past it and had to see a different therapist. How does one work through transference? I can't imagine not feeling attached to my T.

Hey Retro Chic,
I am so glad it went well with your T. I am not the best person to give advice on this as so far I have been over attached to all three of my female ts. I told my first one that I was falling in love with her and then terminated so I am always afraid to mention the transference issue. I have to admire ts such as yours who can work through it with their clients.
I wish you all the best working through this

[Sannah]

Good work bringing this up with your T! This is how you will work through your issues, by bringing things up when needed. I think that you work through transference by talking about it with your T. Just because you work through a transference doesn't mean that you won't be attached to your T. You can be attached to your T just for being a support for you in your life today.

[QuietCat]

When I addmitted my attachment feelings to T and we had the whole conversation I asked him how I would get over it when it was time to end seeing him and he assured me he would help with this too and that every one of his other patients survived it. So I'm just having to trust him on that being true.

They must have some method for helping one detach I guess. Or you just start getting a life outside T and naturally detach.

Good work talking about that difficult "t" word!! When I first talked about it with my t she was great too - even admitted that she had been through it herself in her own therapy - so that was really helpful for me to hear. It still comes up from time to time and I just talk about it when it does and so far so good.

[Ike McCaslin]

I admire your courage RC. That is not easy.

[pbutton]

Very brave!

[retro_chic]

Thank you everyone for the replies!

I'm really confused now though. I see my T once a fortnight and quite often I want to book an extra appointment for the week that I don't see her. Now that I am aware of the transference I can't tell if that is the reason I want to see her more often or if I actually do need the extra support. I can't tell if my feelings exist only because of transference or not.

["Tilly may"]

Wow Im glad that it worked for you.

Originally Posted by retro_chic

Thank you everyone for the replies!

I'm really confused now though. I see my T once a fortnight and quite often I want to book an extra appointment for the week that I don't see her. Now that I am aware of the transference I can't tell if that is the reason I want to see her more often or if I actually do need the extra support. I can't tell if my feelings exist only because of transference or not.

That uncertainty totally makes sense to me. My T often urges me to reach out to him between sessions by calling or emailing. I would LOVE to talk him more often, and second guess myself every time I have a meltdown and think about calling him for support. Am I calling because I really need support? Can I REALLY not handle this on my own, or by talking to friends? Am I just wanting to call him because I like him? I think if you stop and think about it for a while, you can probably figure it out.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

That uncertainty totally makes sense to me. My T often urges me to reach out to him between sessions by calling or emailing. I would LOVE to talk him more often, and second guess myself every time I have a meltdown and think about calling him for support. Am I calling because I really need support? Can I REALLY not handle this on my own, or by talking to friends? Am I just wanting to call him because I like him? I think if you stop and think about it for a while, you can probably figure it out.

I want to email T but now I don't know if I should. I have a feeling that this transference is going to get worse before it gets better ( just like most things in therapy!).

[Ike McCaslin]

PDOC and I talked about my transference today. Last time i told her I thought it was waning a litte, possibly due to my job search, interviews and house hunting and all that. Today I told her it is waxing strongly and she suggested it might be due to the stress I'm under. Moving is very stressful. Ebb and flow. (she actually said this, I think).