Counter-transference

Interesting, MKAC. It seems to be related to the hypervigilance that comes from trauma. My T told me that those who most often or deeply experience dissociation are also most likely to be hypervigilant, always scanning their environment for cues of danger, and acting on their perceptions, but largely unaware of it. It becomes second nature.

I wonder if part of his discomfort could have been because he could feel your perception, but wasn't conscious of it?

That was one of the things my T noticed about me in that counter transferential way--an intensity.

Projective Identification came to mind, is this what you mean Feral K? My T's have said I am hyper-vigilant ( they actually said my sensors or antenna's are always up scanning for danger.) This coupled with my inability to interpret these discoveries is something I wish I could get rid of. I just assumed all people were like me.

The one I see keeps telling me I am guarded. I actually have no idea what that means. Telling me to be less guarded does not work because I don't know what counts as guarded. I am not that great at guessing what others are feeling. I can tell something is off sometimes, but not often what it is. Usually I try asking and if they tell me I am willing to go along with that. Even if untrue I usually think I should be able to rely on what they told me as at least being the part they wanted me to rely on.

I am great at picking up on negative emotions, but not as good at picking up positive ones. Also, my T has pointed out that sometimes I am just picking up on heightened emotions or arousal of some kind, but NOT as good at knowing why or interpreting exactly what the other person is feeling.

Also, the conversation we were having was about my feelings for my T. He admitted he was having anxiety about dealing with my feelings for him because he felt the need to try to keep his feelings out of the room because he also has feelings for me.

I can see her saying you are guarded... as in you think before you speak and act. You like to express yourself perfectly without muddling in the touchy feelings of it all. As opposed to someone who said and did what they feel and speak with unabashed freedom.

One problem I have with the interpreting is that people almost always interpret me incorrectly. So often I get "SD - you did x and I know it means Y so I acted like z to fix it" and I am all like "it doesn't mean y at all and z is quite annoying"

So you are good at interpreting?

I am usually spot on and commence to reacting way before I confirm if my guess was correct.

*** I am only good at interpreting with W and Kids, people I know very well.*** , sometimes I am wrong though and that leads to feeling stupid and embarrased or thinking that the other person is lying to me about their feelings. Man I need therapy. haha

That should have said NOT as good at interpreting.

When I'm misinterpreted, or falsely accused, it is really, really hard for me. I'd so much rather people ask me what I think or feel, or what my motives are.