c o u c h 38 - The dark ages....

Lola- do you have anything fun planned for today?

Nope... Nothing

The dog I'm puppysitting this weekend woke me up at 3. And then every hour thereafter until I gave up around 6. I had to sleep on the sofa to keep him from barking.

His mom is coming to get him later today. I plan to nap after that.

sounds like it could be a relaxing morning for you

Yes, I am looking forward to it. I have already done most of the cleaning that I wanted to do.. Just vaccuming and dusting.. So, I think I am going to head out and get myself a warm breakfast, and put something on netflix on!! H is sad.. I know he is. He wants me to not only go to church with him, but go to church period. I hate that I hurt other people.

Good morning Lola, Granite, Healed, and CL.

Lola...I want a nothing day. I should get it tomorrow (I'm off work...whew)! I'm glad you get to have one today.

Granite...there's nothing wrong with hiding in your craft room on occasion. I hope you get to feeling better.

CL...sorry the dog kept you up. Hope you get a good nap in this afternoon.

Have I ever mentioned I hate being on call? Thought I was going to have to work a 12-hour shift direct care today after only getting 4 hours sleep. The RN (who happened to be at the group home this morning for a med pass with a staff) called me and said she thought the other staff on duty may be having cardiac issues. She was trying to convince the staff to go to the ER. So I started calling around for coverage and the very last person I called said she could do 7am-1pm. So then I thought I was going to have to work 6 hours. Then after 1.5 hours, one of my other staff woke up and said he could do 1pm-7pm. I'm meeting the psychologist to review my client cases sometime this afternoon and do my visual house checks. That should only take 2-3 hours. I wish I could give those 2 staff bonus pay.

I did. He had it for breakfast. Love wins!

Sometimes we don't get what we want. Your H needs to realize this time, he's not going to get what he wants. You have a right to make your own choices regarding church.

I hope you can try to see that you are not hurting him. He is feeling hurt, and those are his feelings to own. It's something he needs to work through. Please don't take ownership of what's not yours.

Good morning, couchies....

Still plugging along with mom...Been on the go constantly, but it does feel good not having to sit in the hospital for hours and hours on end.

Has anyone ever had a swollen lymph node in the bicep area of their arm? I'm wondering if that's what I'm dealing with...and I've been getting sharp needle pains throughout my shoulders/upper back which I'm wondering is related. Never ends. Sigh.

((( HUGS))) I miss spending time here and supporting my couchies.

Granite - Hope your day improves.

All I know is pain sucks ...



I kept it gentle so as to not cause more.

Hope you guys all have a good day. I'm off to bed at 4:30am. Whoops. I have been busy trying to sort out an application for something. The only problem is that the rest of the day is set to be extremely busy. I'm not quite sure where sleep fits into the picture.

Morning all. I have a board meeting I need to leave for in half an hour and I am still sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. I woke up this morning and my poor fish looked worse, despite the fancy water conditioner and the "slime coat" I put in the water (supposed to help their health when they are stressed). I called a friend who used to breed bettas, and she said it could just be age. She suggested googling the symptoms. DUH. While I was on the phone with her, the cats got into a huge chase game and knocked the tank off the stand. I was frantic and trying to get him up before the cats noticed and save some water so I didn't have to plunk him into chlorinated water. Got him back in his tank with some water, conditioned some new water and added just a little (have to add slowly so you don't send the fish into shock). Anyway, finally searched the symptoms, and it turns out that three years old is REALLY old for a betta. Because of inbreeding at the betta farms, their life expectancy is only about a year and a half at the most, according to all of the articles and web sites I found. These symptoms mean he probably only has a few days to live, and most of the sites suggested killing the fish because the symptoms also mean he is in a lot of pain. Double I don't think I can kill him, but knowing he's in pain is also horrible. And then there is this voice in my head going, "It's a FISH. WHAT is wrong with you." Yeah, well, he's MY fish and he's cool. I got him when he was tiny and white with little pink fins. He looked like an unripe cranberry, so we called him Berry. He kept getting bigger and bigger and more and more flamboyantly colored, so we changed his name to Barry (said in a very deep Barry White kind of voice). Anyway. I should go shower. Just wanted to share my pity party, I guess.

((( MKAC )))

Aww, that's so hard. Yes, it IS a fish. It's a fish that you cared for and enjoyed for 3 years! Try not to judge how you feel. My bettas always died in about a year (or less!)....so I'm impressed that yours is 3 years old! I'm sorry your cool Berry Barry Betta is reaching the end, but I'm warmed by the idea that you gave it a great life enough to live 3x its life expectancy!

I was wanting to go to a local unitarian church, but, for the third week in a row totally chickened out. The really sad thing is that I want to go, but just can't seem to do it.

I'm going to have to find a way around myself to get this done I think. When I say zig, I'm also good at zagging.

I'm still a little freaked over the personality testing thing. I know that I won't find out anything new about myself. I'm totally okay with that. Who knows? Maybe I'll find out I'm okay.

That happened to me once when I had an abdominal ultrasound. Most of my life I was convinced I was rather rotten on the inside. However, the ultrasound tech let me watch the acquisition of the images. I watched the blood flow in and out of my organs. I wasn't rotten at all. My body was working beautifully.

I was frightened about the ultrasound too, but it turned out to be a good thing for me.

The thing that most frightens me about these tests is what my therapist will learn and what he will do that information. I really need for this to be handled in a positive way. I do see the potential for some upset here, if not outright trauma here.

I also see a potential for a whole lot of good.

... and I killed the couch. Might be time to get off my own and do something!

wiki?????

You cant kill it! Wiki-olly olly oxen free....

Marco ((((shouting)))))

Sorry about Barry MKAC, Ive had 3
Betas and its sad when they pass too. Mine were Mendez, Pedro and Pedro II .. All hispanic

Caring about your fish isn't stupid. I won a beta fish once. He was blue and his name was Topaz. Cared about him enough to bring him on a three hour road trip to the ocean for my week-long family vacation. I was sad when he died.

Hey just stopped in to say hi. I see no troublemakers today so..........Foodfight.

Awww... I went to bed and the Trekkie discussion started up. I am a Picard fan (mainly due to my age) but will concede that Spock is superior to everyone.

Lola - I like your picture.

All that midnight snack talk had me wanting mac and cheese!

Healed - I agree with SD. You should be able to discuss it with t without feeling like t is going to freak out. I struggle with that too and do not bring up that topic or others related as I fear t's reaction.

MKAC - I am sorry about your fish.

Hi everyone else.

I have to get ready for my "date." and be girly... and do my hair and makeup. I draw the line and doing my nails. We are going to one of my favorite restaurants that is decorated in a Caribbean/Mexican style with lots of bright colors. The atmosphere is warm and happy.

Have fun sconnie!!

Oh and I have mac and cheese waiting for me on the stove right now...

My stomache is feeling a little upset (I think b/c I took my steriod while it was empty).. So, my mind says eat the mac and cheese, but my tummy says NOOO WAY!! Plus, we are having a get together for BIL's b-day in a couple of hours, pizza and pies!

I rarely have macaroni and cheese. Too cheesy.
I sometimes (once every two years or so) make a box of kraft macaroni and cheese and mix in tuna and peas or broccoli or spinach or something to dilute the cheese.
Sort of like chocolate chip cookies which I prefer with only one or two small chips per cookie.

Date? Do you need help picking an outfit? You know im awesome at that! Have fun and I want details upon your return.

This, this I just can't wrap my brain around at all.