[DelusionsDaily]

Struggling to control my anxiety about memories of a negative past event I'm having...again. Sometimes I just wish I could erase the bad experiences from my memory. Gawd I don't want to cry but I'm on the verge of tears and I HATE crying. My muscles are so tight I feel like they are going to snap in half if I move wrong. Trying to use coping skills gained in T but they aren't working at the moment.

[WePow]

I am sorry the past is taking away your peace today. I hate it when that happens. Tons of very safe hugs!

[DelusionsDaily]

I just want the memories to stop.

[refika]

Hang in there, the memories will soon pass...know that you have this forum for support and we're here for you.

[Paige008]

I can definitely understand where you are right now Melissa. I am having trouble with this myself at the moment.

Sometimes all those memories and even the current stuff can get so wound up in each other that it just cause an overload. Then your anxiety becomes so much that it feels like its taking over and you can't get a breath.

I hate crying as well and crying actually sends me further into anxiousness. I usually turn my need to cry into anger and, sometimes, it helps to do something that releases that anger - hit the **** out of some balls at the batting cage or, if you have extra, break some plates. I know that's not the perfect mental health answer, but, sometimes, just releasing some of it helps a little.

I'll be thinking of you.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

I just want the memories to stop.

I think I get this. I know I feel a great deal of resonance with this idea. I have some memories that I wished would go away and not haunt me all day (therapist betrayal). Is that what it is like? or is it different for you.

I thought my bad memories would haunt me forever. I never cried so much in my life. I can say that today the memories don't haunt me, although I still don't like them. But I do have some learnings from them. I'm not sure if the learnings were worth the memories. Maybe. I'm not sure how that happened. I kept doing my work and I must have stumbled on something that eventually helped.

I hope you can find a way to get the memories to stop, or at least stop hurting so much. Is that what you would want? or would it be something different?

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by Syra

I think I get this. I know I feel a great deal of resonance with this idea. I have some memories that I wished would go away and not haunt me all day (therapist betrayal). Is that what it is like? or is it different for you.

I thought my bad memories would haunt me forever. I never cried so much in my life. I can say that today the memories don't haunt me, although I still don't like them. But I do have some learnings from them. I'm not sure if the learnings were worth the memories. Maybe. I'm not sure how that happened. I kept doing my work and I must have stumbled on something that eventually helped.

I hope you can find a way to get the memories to stop, or at least stop hurting so much. Is that what you would want? or would it be something different?

I really just want the pain of the memories to go away. It hurts so bad to have them soooooo much.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

I really just want the pain of the memories to go away. It hurts so bad to have them soooooo much.

I totally know this feeling. AT least I think I do. I know I've felt in a way that I would use the same words to describe - and have used the same words to describe. Just wanted the pain to be gone! and not haunt and poke me all day. Feeling like I could crack into a thousand pieces. Is that what's it's like. I think you said it felt like your muscles could snap if you move wrong. And you're trying to use your skills to fix it and they aren't working. That's a little different from me, but not a lot different.

I can't think of anything more to say, but I can just sit here with you and be with you. I'd give you a hug if you wanted one, but I don't know you well enough to know if you would like that, or if it would be too intrusive.