[trdleblue]

Since I'm starting group therapy in a couple of weeks my T has offered me a reduced rate, since he knew that the cost for group was a concern of mine. With his reduced fee, and with a small reduction in the group fee, I will be paying $10.00 more then I'm paying now for just my T. Although I'm grateful that this has been offered to me, I feel so guilty accepting the help. How bad off should I be to make this okay? I am in a bad place financially, but it's not like I'm living in a shelter or have children to support. I kind of feel like I should sell my things in storage, or get rid of my cell phone before I take any assistance. Both my T and the head of the group have told me that it's not going to effect them and that the assistance is there so why not take it. Is this something that I should feel guilty about?

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

Is this something that I should feel guilty about?

Lawyer logic: offer is on the table. Accept or not. Deal done. Guilt is not a consideration.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

Since I'm starting group therapy in a couple of weeks my T has offered me a reduced rate, since he knew that the cost for group was a concern of mine. With his reduced fee, and with a small reduction in the group fee, I will be paying $10.00 more then I'm paying now for just my T. Although I'm grateful that this has been offered to me, I feel so guilty accepting the help. How bad off should I be to make this okay? I am in a bad place financially, but it's not like I'm living in a shelter or have children to support. I kind of feel like I should sell my things in storage, or get rid of my cell phone before I take any assistance. Both my T and the head of the group have told me that it's not going to effect them and that the assistance is there so why not take it. Is this something that I should feel guilty about?

It is not something to feel guilty about.
The question I would ask myself is, if I had to pay the "full" rate, would that stop me from going?

My T put her fees up from $120 to $140. I wasn't sure I could afford that, so we agreed on $130. After a while I decided I could afford her full rate, so that's what I'm paying now.

Feel free to ignore what follows. It's purely about me.

It is interesting that I coped so well with a fee increase but am now in a life-and-death struggle over something as petty as the cancellation policy.
But over fees, she told me what she wanted. Over cancellation, she hasn't.
Don't let me hijack the thread. I'm just thinking out loud.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

Lawyer logic: offer is on the table. Accept or not. Deal done. Guilt is not a consideration.

I'm quite logical with others, but not as much when it comes to myself. I don't know why it's so hard, but I actually burst into tears when I read my T's e-mail saying that he reduced my rate. Like I said, I do appreciate it, but I don't feel like it's something I deserve.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

It is not something to feel guilty about.
The question I would ask myself is, if I had to pay the "full" rate, would that stop me from going?

My T put her fees up from $120 to $140. I wasn't sure I could afford that, so we agreed on $130. After a while I decided I could afford her full rate, so that's what I'm paying now.

Feel free to ignore what follows. It's purely about me.

It is interesting that I coped so well with a fee increase but am now in a life-and-death struggle over something as petty as the cancellation policy.
But over fees, she told me what she wanted. Over cancellation, she hasn't.
Don't let me hijack the thread. I'm just thinking out loud.

It would be hard for me to make it work without the reduction, but maybe I need to sacrifice more, or get a second job. Or maybe I should just learn to accept that someone is trying to help me, and take it for what it is.

There is nothing wrong with you thinking out loud. If I am remembering your thread correctly, I would have a problem with your T's cancellation policy. I have never once canceled or been late in the year that I have been in therapy. Even with my record, I could understand a one day notice and possibly even a two day notice, but a week seems too much to me. I hope that you work it out to a desirable conclusion.

[(JD)]

No, you should not feel guilty at all. The therapist is also part business person, and would not have offered it to you if it either weren't allowed (as if you are in a special clinic) or wasn't doable on the T's part. So no guilt required at all. You'd accept free counseling, say from another organization if it were professional wouldn't you? The cost has nothing to do with your therapy process--other than to alleviate some of your financial burden of trying to take care of yourself, and to give the T an opportunity to tell you your are worth it (finding healing.)

[~EnlightenMe~]

I think that feelings of guilt aren't warranted, although I know that this doesn't always lend itself to not feeling guilty. Sometimes being mindful that you feel guilty, accepting that, but not letting your mind run with it, helps.

[unaluna]

Couple of things: the word deserve wasn't even in my vocabulary. Not sure if it is yet. 2nd is, - wait, is this trdleblue? I can't see. Being afraid of having to pay TOO MUCH for accepting something good. ETA: I think it's related to the mother coming crashing in. We're worried no good can come of such a deal. How much are we REEEEEALLLLY gonna hafta pay? We don't have that feeling of security built in. We have a feeling of alertness to danger built in. T is trying to give us a soft place to land, instead of forcing us out of the nest, or begrudging us our place in the nest.

[ECHOES]

My T offered me a very reduced rate, and I accepted. Sometimes I do feel guilty, and we talk about it. Recently I was feeling guilty again, because I have been seeing her a long time at the reduced rate. She's absolutely fine with it and wants me to be, too.
Since we often share laughs, she said "If you win the lottery... we'll talk!" lol

Take it and talk about the feelings about it too.

[likelife]

Whether or not you "should" feel guilty doesn't seem that important. I'd wonder more about why you would potentially feel guilty. Do you feel undeserving of your T's help? Or as if you'd be harming him?

Money can bring up all kind of issues that can lead to fruitful discussions. But it helps to be in T (and therefore paying the reduced rate) o have them

[precious things]

Here's something to think about: how would you feel if your T said, " I'm sorry, I'm not able to offer you a reduced rate at this time...." Old T did that to me and while I logically understood that it was a mathematical decision on his part, I couldn't help but feel slighted.

It's all good, take the help and use it as an opportunity to work on you

[Sunne]

My therapist sees me for free right now, 4 x a week. I'm so grateful.

If the offer is there, take it. They wouldn't offer if they didn't want to. I know it can feel weird but they have the ability to reduce their rate.

I don't think many T's get their actual full rate!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

It would be hard for me to make it work without the reduction, but maybe I need to sacrifice more, or get a second job.

It sounds like you would be quite entitled to accept the lower fee.
Your therapist is offering you a discount so that you won't have to get a second job.

In your place, I would certainly accept.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I don't feel like it's something I deserve.

Maybe it's enough that your T thinks it is something you deserve.

I think that T's, like many professionals, see doing reduced rate and free work as part of a professional ethic. I justify charging high hourly rates in part so I can cut them (actually, I just scale back the hours I charge for, I don't actually cut my rate, it's a pride thing) and so I have time to do pro bono work. But I think like your T, I'm in charge of deciding whose case I want to do this for. And I'm only going to make an offer to do this if I truly want to do it.

[harvest moon]

My T's fee is 180 euros (which is 240 dollars)... And in my country we pay everything out of our pocket. I started paying 150 euros but over the years he has reduced his fee 3 times and these days I only pay 40 euros (which I can barely afford). I used to feel tremendous guilts. Every time he was late (I'm his first evening appointment), I would immediately assume that since I don't pay like the others, I'm not worth his attention and time. But I've come to realize that I don't feel guilt for accepting a reduced rate per se, but because of all the insecurities and feelings of guilt that I carry along all these years. It's just a manifestation of other things. Either way, you can discuss it with your T and maybe you can explore further the source of your feelings... But you did well accepting the offer!