[CantExplain]

I said I wanted to start at the end.

Me: I have a last request. I want you to write me a farewell letter for me to keep and treasure, (sob) as my mother never did.

A simple request, but as usual, T wanted to make a meal of it.

T: What do you think it would say?
Me: I don’t want to tell you what to write.
T: That’s not what I asked. What do you expect?
Me: That I’m a fine man and that you have every confidence in me and that you wish me well.
T: And if I refused to write it, or forgot to write it, what then?
Me: I would be disappointed and I would doubt my heart.
T: Doubt your heart?
Me: My heart would be proved wrong, and I would wonder how reliable it was. Hmmm… The mildness of that answer surprised me. I was expecting something much stronger, like: “I would be crushed and I would never love again.”
T: And that answer would have been wrong. I make no promises about such a letter. We’ll see how I feel when the time comes.

[stopdog]

So do you have a last appointment planned or is this her way of not talking about a specific end? I am confused.

[unaluna]

"A simple request"! ? No such thing, in therapy! Shirley you know that!

[WePow]

You are very deep. Very.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by stopdog

So do you have a last appointment planned or is this her way of not talking about a specific end? I am confused.

The rules call for four termination sessions, of which this is the first.

[stopdog]

Whose rules? Did you know of the rules before today? Are you planning on attending all 4? Do you want to do so?
Thanks for explaining.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

The rules call for four termination sessions, of which this is the first.

Oh I wish my "rules" did with my ex-T ...at least you are terminating "correctly". Although I wish she would have just answered your question!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Whose rules? Did you know of the rules before today? Are you planning on attending all 4? Do you want to do so?
Thanks for explaining.

T's rules. Yes, I knew, and I still respect her enough to abide by them.

Right now, I think I might want to ask for some more sessions! I'm really excited about the Good Mother epiphany.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by tractionbeam0610

Oh I wish my "rules" did with my ex-T ...at least you are terminating "correctly". Although I wish she would have just answered your question!

Thanks! It's wonderful the way you have been following along.
And no, she hasn't answered that question yet.

keep us posted.... I have a feeling this will lead to more sessions and a breakthrough of sorts.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Her non-answer really ticked ME off, so it must have really gotten under your skin. "We'll see how I feel?" Talk about conditional love. You're not asking for her to marry you for goodness sake. Just to let you know that you were a part of her life for a period and during that period, she saw positive changes in you. You are a good man whether or not she writes the letter (which obviously says way more about her than it does about you) and I hope you don't base your esteem on whether/if she writes something.

Hope I'm not offending anyone. I don't post often b/c I usually wind up killing a thread. I have that way with people

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by bubsmiley

Her non-answer really ticked ME off, so it must have really gotten under your skin. "We'll see how I feel?" Talk about conditional love. You're not asking for her to marry you for goodness sake. Just to let you know that you were a part of her life for a period and during that period, she saw positive changes in you.

Yes yes yes yes yes!

Originally Posted by bubsmiley

You are a good man whether or not she writes the letter (which obviously says way more about her than it does about you) and I hope you don't base your esteem on whether/if she writes something.

We talked about this. I can live without her written approval, but it would be nice to have.

The real question, I guess, is whether she loves me enough to write it. I'd like to have some tangible evidence of that.

Perhaps the phrase "Last Request" doesn't mean as much to a woman as it does to a man. Perhaps there is no Bushido among therapists!

Originally Posted by bubsmiley

Hope I'm not offending anyone. I don't post often b/c I usually wind up killing a thread. I have that way with people

I enjoyed your post. Thank you!