[retro_chic]

My T told me today that in 6 months time she is going on maternity leave. I am so upset and kind of angry about it. My last T left for the same reason; why does this keep happening to me? I don't want to get a new T, I like this one.

We also talked about some other difficult things like transference. I spent much of the session fighting back tears and wanting it to be over.

[CantExplain]

((retro_chic))

I spent three months preparing myself for the possibility that T might die on the operating table. It was very healing, probably the best T work I've ever done.

[SilverGlitter]

Sorry that you had such a tough session. Finding out stuff like that is never easy, regardless of how much warning you do or don't get. Do you know if she'll be returning to work once her maternity leave is over? So that you won't have to get a completely new T - maybe just someone to help you while she's away, then you can go back to seeing her when she returns?

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by SilverGlitter

Sorry that you had such a tough session. Finding out stuff like that is never easy, regardless of how much warning you do or don't get. Do you know if she'll be returning to work once her maternity leave is over? So that you won't have to get a completely new T - maybe just someone to help you while she's away, then you can go back to seeing her when she returns?

Yeah, I didn't really ask her about any of that, I kind of wasn't thinking straight. I didn't even congratulate her on the pregnancy... it didn't even occur to me until I was driving home. T told me I am the only client she has told about the pregnancy since it is still in the early stages but she wanted to give me as much notice as possible since she knows I have a fear of abandonment and stuff. This might sound stupid but that made me feel kind of special in a way.

[SilverGlitter]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

Yeah, I didn't really ask her about any of that, I kind of wasn't thinking straight. I didn't even congratulate her on the pregnancy... it didn't even occur to me until I was driving home. T told me I am the only client she has told about the pregnancy since it is still in the early stages but she wanted to give me as much notice as possible since she knows I have a fear of abandonment and stuff. This might sound stupid but that made me feel kind of special in a way.

That doesn't sound stupid at all. I totally understand how that could make you feel special in a way. My T sounds similar to yours, in that she understands you like mine understands me. My T once had handed in her resignation but I was in the middle of exams and she knew I wouldn't be able to cope with that so she was going to wait until after to tell me. Turns out she took back her resignation before she even got around to telling me! But then recently, she had some similar news again but told me straight away and has been able to predict all my reactions and feelings to the news. It's nice when a T has a good enough understanding of you to know exactly when and what to tell you, even if it's different to what she has mentioned to other clients.

Hopefully in the next session, you can sort everything out. If she's coming back, how to wind things up in the next six months, what you should do and how to cope once she's away etc. and if you want to congratulate her, congratulate her then! If she's told you when she's told no-one else, it's because she understands how you feel and she'll understand that her news stunned you and you probably weren't thinking clearly.

[ECHOES]

(((retro_chic))) that is really hard!

How long will she be out? Is she planning to return?

Very understandable that you feel special! She is showing extra concern for you.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

(((retro_chic))) that is really hard!

How long will she be out? Is she planning to return?

Very understandable that you feel special! She is showing extra concern for you.

I don't know if she is planning on returning... I really hope she is.