[Sr564231]

I have been in therapy with the same male therapist for over a year now. He is nice, is good about not reacting when I freak out with anxiety( i have generalized anxiety disorder and on effexor) Lately, i have been very frustrated with the progress i have made in therapy and I feel like giving up on everything I've worked so hard for. My anxiety has improved and I have moved into a dorm in college where I come back only on the weekends. My anxiety used be so bad that I can could barely socialize and never thought I would be able to dorm. however, lately I've been so sad and I cry all the time not because I am dorming but because I feel depressed. My psychiatrist says I should try Remeron but the part of me does not want to start another medication. I get so frustrated when I complained to my therapist and he only says you should go on Remeron or you have had so much progress don't give up yet keep trying etc. I don't even know how to really explain how I feel every day but I feel like I need some support in my decisions coming up. Should I start another medication and start Remeron? There is a huge part of me that just wants to crawl into ball and stay in bed and give up because I've been trying to beat this inside for so long and even though I've made progress I just feel like the pain some times is so unbearable and no one understands even my therapist

[sittingatwatersedge]

((((((((((((((( Sr ))))))))))))))

I know this is hard to hear, but it may take a while to find the meds that work for you.

From what you sketched out about the last year in therapy, yr T said exactly what I was thinking as I read your post >> you have had so much progress don't give up yet keep trying

hang in there. Let us know how you go

[CantExplain]

((SR))

Therapy progress can be very difficult to measure. Sometimes I get so fixated on my destination that I am blind to how far I have come.

[ECHOES]

Congratulations on your progress!

Therapy progress can be frightening. It feels good to have some symptoms relieved, but then we wonder what will be expected of us next. The fear around that can make us want to pull away to a less frightening place.

It's okay to stay in one place for a while. Progress isn't constant or linear. I don't know why anyone thinks you have to do anything different at this point. You've made it to 'here' and you can enjoy that for now. Pressure to add to your wonderful progress takes away from your accomplishment.

Keep talking to your therapist so you can discover what is making you sad and fearful now. It is something about moving back to the dorm, and what that means to you, or what you think it means to others (what expectations they might have for you). It is a big step to move back to the dorm, but it might be feeling like a giant leap and that just because you moved back to the dorm you are now expected to be a certain way, or do things you aren't yet ready for.

In my experience progress seems to come in spurts... for awhile I am learning and improving and then all of a sudden I'm flailing and stagnant.... Like I plateau and have to push through the wall.. like weight loss.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Sr564231

My anxiety has improved ... lately I've been so sad and I cry all the time ....because I feel depressed.

Maybe because you treated your anxiety, your depression can now come up? Maybe because of the work that you have done you can now look at everything and you are sad because now you can see it? If so, this is all normal and it is progress. Denial keeps the sadness at bay but it doesn't allow us to heal. Actually accepting our situation and really seeing it is the first step in healing. The sadness is like a grief that needs to occur. Keep working and it will get better too. Continue to keep us posted on how you are doing?

[sunrise]

The combination of Effexor and Remeron is known to be a pretty potent one--can help people with intractable depression that will just not budge. I don't know if that describes your situation. You could ask your pdoc more about why this combo. For some reason, these two antidepressants seem especially synergistic with each other.

Originally Posted by Sr564231

I get so frustrated when I complained to my therapist and he only says you should go on Remeron or you have had so much progress don't give up yet keep trying etc.

It sounds like you have made some big gains since starting therapy and meds. Your anxiety has lessened and you are back in the dorm. So you are doing a lot better. Now there's another bump in the road. I like how your therapist says don't give up. It sounds like he sees a lot of potential in you and wants you to feel better. I do think it is hard to hear about meds from one's therapist, so maybe just confine the meds discussions to pdoc and instead focus with T on other ways he can help you.

Originally Posted by Sr564231

There is a huge part of me that just wants to crawl into ball and stay in bed and give up because I've been trying to beat this inside for so long and even though I've made progress I just feel like the pain some times is so unbearable and no one understands even my therapist

Does your therapist have ideas for how to help you with this? If you feel like you have tried everything, maybe a little extra pharmacological help from the Remeron would make a difference.

Good luck.

I did the remeron-Effexor thing and it was truly horrible. Remeron sent me into this zombie like state and I gained, I kid you not, 40 pounds. I would carefully ask about side effects.