Group T

trdleblue · Feb 27, 2013, 05:10 PM

For those of you who have been or are currently in group therapy, what were the first few sessions like? Next Tuesday will be my first time, and I am quite nervous about the whole thing. Along with fears about any group, I am even more nervous because it is all female, and because it is for survivors of csa. I was told it is fine if it takes me a while to speak and open up, but really how common is it to have trouble communicating in the group setting? Did you feel pressure to share and contribute at first, or were you able to move along at your own pace? Are there any tips you have to make things easier, and to get the most out of the process? I would appreciate any input.

refika · Feb 27, 2013, 05:33 PM

I had group therapy in the past for sa, but not csa. I wish I could give you some tips and insight, but my experiences were not very favorable and I don't want to upset or scare you away before you go.

Hopefully others will chime in here with positive experiences and supportive tips.

trdleblue · Feb 27, 2013, 06:23 PM

Any information would be good. Even if it was from an unfavorable experience.

TheWell · Feb 27, 2013, 06:27 PM

I love my group. You don't speak up until you are ready and you don't talk about anything unless you want to.

My Group starts and the group T goes around the room and asks what people would like to talk about today. "I'm not ready" or "I don't have anything this week" are acceptable answers.

In my group people ask if you want feedback after you have spoken. It's an awesome and amazing experience. It's also hard because other people's stuff triggers stuff in you but that's good and important to talk about because it's the point of it all. I've found many issues that really bother me that I didn't realize until it came up because someone else was talking about their issues.

Syra · Feb 27, 2013, 06:33 PM

I couldn't speak at first. I even brought a painting to speak for me eventually because it was easier to talk about the painting, then it was to talk about me - even thought I realized the painting, which was done in art therapy, was about me.

feralkittymom · Feb 28, 2013, 01:01 AM

I think groups rise or fall largely dependent upon the skill of the therapist(s) running them. If you know the T and have confidence in him/her, then you will probably have a productive experience in the group.

trdleblue · Feb 28, 2013, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWell

I love my group. You don't speak up until you are ready and you don't talk about anything unless you want to.

My Group starts and the group T goes around the room and asks what people would like to talk about today. "I'm not ready" or "I don't have anything this week" are acceptable answers.

I am worried that I won't even be able to get out a "No, I'm not ready".

Quote:

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I think groups rise or fall largely dependent upon the skill of the therapist(s) running them. If you know the T and have confidence in him/her, then you will probably have a productive experience in the group.

She seemed quite competent when I met with her, so I guess I have confidence in her. She is direct which I like. I don't like a lot of the word she uses, but I think because of the nature of the group it is something that I will have to get used to.

WikidPissah · Feb 28, 2013, 09:11 AM

I did groups in a program that I was in for csa. They were all women. It took me a few sessions before I could talk. I felt just "lurking" was rude, and I finally disclosed a bit about myself.

I found the following:

1) It was quite helpful to see that others suffered the same symptoms as myself
2) It was really helpful to give feedback on things that I had overcome, reminded me that I was moving forwards.
3) It was difficult after divulging something personal to know all of those people now saw me in a different light. That was freaky and scary. In T you worry about what one person thinks, in group T there are several.
4) I would get triggered by personalities (similar to pc, but IRL it's harder to handle)

Perna · Feb 28, 2013, 12:19 PM

A lot might depend, for you, on when the group was formed and if you are a new member among those who have already been meeting for a time or if the group is brand new and everyone is new. Too, your leader(s) are very important, how well they lead and how comfortable and safe they make you feel while sharing. Age of members might be significant and other experiences; if you are young and single and there are several older, married women with kids, that could make a difference.

Think of some easy way to introduce yourself maybe. Bare facts like, "I'm trdleblue, 24, and was sexually abused by a family friend when I was 8" will go a long way for the first couple sessions while you are listening and coming to better understand the dynamics of your particular group and its members. Start with obvious, factual statements (you are in a csa group so everyone has been affected by csa) and maybe think how to gradually expand on them when you see a good place; if someone talks about how they were abused by their uncle, for example, and you were abused by your cousin and wonder about your uncle, you might ask some questions and give some information about yourself, relating to the other person and thus get a little closer to your feelings, based on how brave the other person is (or you wish you or they were) in sharing there's, etc.

I went rappelling down cliffs once in college because another girl I admired was brave enough to be first of the girls and I didn't want to be thought too scared :-) I got stuck on a ledge (the site was not picked well, we didn't really have but half an expert with us) and it turned out to be one of my best experiences ever, talking myself off that ledge and down (it was too small for a helicopter to rescue me and I couldn't climb back up, something had to give so I went for it and continued down :-) and I found group therapy to be a little like that, challenging yourself in light of other people's bravery or your wish to comfort another by letting them know you yourself have had similar experiences and they are not in it alone, etc.