[lenjan]

OK, here's one I haven't heard on here before.

I'm temporarily stuck (at least I hope it's temporary) in Rochester, MN, home of the Mayo Clinic. I am a Mayo patient for my physical illnesses, but living with my sister here (since I currently have no job/finances) is helping me slide down the rabbit hole in a big, big hurry, and I need a T.

But.

Mayo just called me back. The psychiatry/psychology clinic is full-up, and they aren't accepting new patients who need ongoing treatment. The woman who called me recommended a bunch of other places, which I will call later today or tomorrow.

However, my sister has worked in the mental health field in Rochester for a billion years, and my guess is that she knows or is at least acquainted with a good number of the T's in town.

I know they're bound by confidentiality and all, but how in the world am I going to find a T who doesn't know my sister, when my sister is the current reason for my depression? I think that would put us ALL in an awkward position.

Anybody got any ideas? Rochester IS the largest city (all of 93,000) in this part of the state, so going to a nearby city isn't a plan -- everything else around here is totally rural. The closest big city is Minneapolis, and it's 90 minutes away, which, with gas at $3 per, is a lot farther than I'm willing to drive on a regular basis.

Looking forward to hearing ideas on this one!

Candy

[wi_fighter]

Do they have to know she's your sister? You have different last names, right? Or are you going to have to put her as your contact info in case of an emergency?

[lenjan]

We have different last names, but she is my emergency contact, yes. My mother is 77 and far too out of it to list her instead.

One of the agencies the woman from Mayo gave me to call was the last agency my sister worked for! I won't be calling THEM, I don't think

[kimmydawn]

Candy,

I would think that there will be therapists there who aren't associated with your sister on much more than a working level. With that in mind, it shouldn't interfere?

Yes, with that in mind, it would still bother me.

I would use someone else as an emergency contact. A friend, or another relative should suffice with that? Yep, if it were me, that's what I would do; list a friend or another relative (even one out of state, explaining that you just recently moved there and why).

What do you think?

KD

[lenjan]

KD, I think I am just going to bag it for now, and muddle through. I'm applying for jobs out of town -- no sense in getting started here and having to quit again.

Sure could use a T, though, not that PC isn't great!



Candy

[Hopefull]

That would creep me out some too. However, I suspect that you could find a T that is willing to work with you without treating you differently because of your sister. My ex-boyfriend and I use the same agency. I sometimes wonder if his T and Pdoc ever talks to my T. I don't think I have ever named him in session (probably for this reason). But, the idea is kind of creepy in an odd sort of way even though it doesn't effect his time with T/Pdoc or my time with my T.

[Rapunzel]

((((((Candy))))))))

I just want you to know that I can relate. I sure am glad I don't live too close to my sister, who is a psychiatrist, and who also was responsible for the origins of a lot of my problems. She was a little clone of our mother when we were kids. Anyway, I can just see what it would be like to live near her, let alone with her, and need to find therapy. Therapists should be able to maintain confidentiality, but sisters are often not good at keeping their noses out of things, and she would somehow manage to present herself as a helpful consultant. In fact, even from a distance my sister offered to consult with my doctor about medications (she's got lots of ideas she would like to try), and has suggested diagnoses and told me what kind of treatment I should receive. She does more of the same with the rest of our siblings too.

But I really do hope that you can get the support and help that you need. I can feel that you are struggling right now. Maybe one of those jobs will come through soon, and I hope it does, but if it doesn't then I hope you will find a therapist you can go to. Most of them would understand family dynamics and if you told them specifically about your concerns about your sister, I do believe that they would handle it appropriately and help you to maintain appropriate boundaries.

Rap

[(JD)]

First off, the "confidentiality" doesn't apply for doctor to doctor discussions. It falls under "professional confidentiality" where they agree to discuss a patient only between themselves at that time, and not share it with outsiders. So your professional sister COULD impose upon any T you find, to share. That is something you MUST insist your new T NOT do!

Now, all Ts do NOT know all other Ts. Plus, psychologists don't hang in the same grouping as psychiatrists...they are two different fields. Psychologists usually only have acquaintance with psychiatrists who have agreed to help on cases where meds are needed... but that's about it. To think your sister knows all of them is a misnomer, ok?

You can ask when you interview them, if they know her. (They might know OF her, and that's it, but odds are... unless she is a famous author or director in the area, nah they won't know her.)

I think it's good that you find a T for yourself.