[Focus62]

I have T tomorrow and I, once again, have made poor decisions and now I'm nervous to go in and see T. Last week I told her I was going home for a volunteer function that I do every year and that I was not going home to be with my family. We discussed finding a hotel room so I can keep safe (home is an physically and mentally abusive environment at the moment). Well, I'm not 21 and hotels in my area and the surrounding area all require you to be 21 to rent a room, so I soon found out after my session that I could not do that. The friend I usually stay with when I go home was out of town so I ended up going home and staying there thinking I would be okay for the weekend as long as I stayed out of my dad's way. I wasn't going to be there for much of the weekend anyway, really just to sleep. This was the poor decision I made. A very poor decision because I couldn't just "stay out of his way" and now I have wound up with a visible wound once again...and I'm afraid to go see T tomorrow because I feel so stupid and naive. Like I could have avoided this. I feel like I'm going to disappoint her because I did this and that she's secretly going to think I'm idiot for going home anyway, despite not knowing what kind of state my parents were in. I should never have gone, but you don't know what's going to happen until it just does happen and there's no getting away from it -- it's too late at that point. I feel like she's going to think less of me because I couldn't keep myself safe. I'm 20 years old, this shouldn't happen anymore. I'm also kind of afraid she's going to ask to see it, I don't know if I want to show it to her. Do you think that's something a T would ask to see? I have it bandaged...it's a burn on my neck so it's hard to miss. I trust her, but I feel so dumb right now...I don't know why I went home. Nothing good ever comes of going home. I was doing so well, I hadn't seen my parents since Thanksgiving cause of the last spat we got into and I really thought things would be okay. I don't know why I thought that.

Okay, so I know this doesn't have much to do with T, but I just needed to put it out there and get some of my anxiety about it out. Pocket riders or good thoughts would be appreciated... my session is tomorrow at 1 pm.

[lostin08]

My gosh that sounds awful, how did u get the burn? It is not your fault you had no where else to go. Is there a reason why u didn't go back to your house? If u have a good T she will not think anything less of you. OPEN The POCKET I'm in Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!keep posting.

[CantExplain]

I think it's sad that you can't stay in a hotel even if you have money. I must admit I wasn't aware of that, and maybe T wasn't either.

[rothfan6]

She's not going to think less of you, it's not your fault. I understand what it's like to feel like your old enough to control the situation but you really can't control him. Wear a lot of pockets I'm jumping in too

[Focus62]

Originally Posted by lostin08

My gosh that sounds awful, how did u get the burn? It is not your fault you had no where else to go. Is there a reason why u didn't go back to your house?

I did leave right after he did this, it just happened to occur at the end of the weekend. No way was I staying because it only would have gotten worse. It was from a curling iron. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and unfortunately it happened to be when I was getting ready for the benefit dinner for the volunteer function and the curling iron was hot, sitting right there in his reach when we were arguing. I should probably see a doctor to get some silvadene cream but I don't know what to tell them in regards to how I got such a bad burn. I feel like an idiot, I really do. I can't sleep I'm so nervous about tomorrow. Thank you for jumping in my pocket...I'm going to need all the help I can get.

[roads]

Tell your T. Tell your T everything. If we didn't have any cracks or if we'd fill all of them in perfectly--there'd be no job security for therapists.
It sounds as if you knew you were walking into a hot-issue situation and had some plans to help with that. The motel age thing threw things off, because you lacked a backup plan. And everything kind of got away from there.
It was a complicated situation from the git-go, you're 20, learn from this. It's precisely the sort of complicated situation with lots of possible ways of falling apart that have brought therapist and client together. You're a classic!!
Take notes.

[Anne2.0]

What happened to you is not your fault, and I don't think that your T will feel anything but sorrow that you were hurt and angry that your father would do this to you. I work in family violence, and I think that burning someone with a hot curling iron is a very severe thing to do, and because violence often escalates, you are in serious danger and I would encourage you to stay away and consider taking out a court order of protection. You also might find it helpful to contact the closest domestic violence shelter (they should be able to help you with an order, if you are in the US) just to talk about what your options are. They can also take photos for you, whether or not you decide to make any legal moves or not.

I'm just really sorry that this happened to you. You didn't ask to be hurt, even if you chose to go home. It's nobody's fault but his.

[stopdog]

I am sorry such a thing occurred. It was not your fault. I believe it is highly improbable that the therapist will blame you or think less of you because of what your father did to you. Good luck with the appointment.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by Focus62

I have T tomorrow and I, once again, have made poor decisions and now I'm nervous to go in and see T. Last week I told her I was going home for a volunteer function that I do every year and that I was not going home to be with my family. We discussed finding a hotel room so I can keep safe (home is an physically and mentally abusive environment at the moment). Well, I'm not 21 and hotels in my area and the surrounding area all require you to be 21 to rent a room, so I soon found out after my session that I could not do that. The friend I usually stay with when I go home was out of town so I ended up going home and staying there thinking I would be okay for the weekend as long as I stayed out of my dad's way. I wasn't going to be there for much of the weekend anyway, really just to sleep. This was the poor decision I made. A very poor decision because I couldn't just "stay out of his way" and now I have wound up with a visible wound once again...and I'm afraid to go see T tomorrow because I feel so stupid and naive. Like I could have avoided this. I feel like I'm going to disappoint her because I did this and that she's secretly going to think I'm idiot for going home anyway, despite not knowing what kind of state my parents were in. I should never have gone, but you don't know what's going to happen until it just does happen and there's no getting away from it -- it's too late at that point. I feel like she's going to think less of me because I couldn't keep myself safe. I'm 20 years old, this shouldn't happen anymore. I'm also kind of afraid she's going to ask to see it, I don't know if I want to show it to her. Do you think that's something a T would ask to see? I have it bandaged...it's a burn on my neck so it's hard to miss. I trust her, but I feel so dumb right now...I don't know why I went home. Nothing good ever comes of going home. I was doing so well, I hadn't seen my parents since Thanksgiving cause of the last spat we got into and I really thought things would be okay. I don't know why I thought that.

Okay, so I know this doesn't have much to do with T, but I just needed to put it out there and get some of my anxiety about it out. Pocket riders or good thoughts would be appreciated... my session is tomorrow at 1 pm.

I read this and I didn't think you were an idiot. I Hear someone who looked at the situation, valued the volunteer work, thoughtfully considered the limited options which shouldn't be that limited, and after making a thoughtful decision , when things didn't work out, again reviewed what happened and is learning. Is this what happened? or is there more?

[lostin08]

Well u should be in T now, prayers Well what an a s s he is I am glad you didn't have to go back.

[anilam]

Not YOUR fault and you're NOT an idiot. He assaulted you- it's reportable. Not saying you have to just a thought.
Anyway, I'm sure your T won't think any less of you. Don't be nervous and don't beat yourself up over this- get a good night sleep.