[tinyrabbit]

I recently told my T he looks older or younger to me on different days, presumably because of how old or young I feel compared to him.

I've realised he also looks bigger or smaller at different times. Recently I went for an extra session during a massive crisis and he looked absolutely huge to me, like 2-3 times my size. Next session, I was surprised that he wasn't as tall as I thought he was.

Does this happen to anyone else?

[stopdog]

I cannot remember what the one I see looks like from week to week. I recognize her in the office, but I don't really know what she looks like as such. I don't have a visual of her that I can pull up, so I am sometimes surprised if I do look at her.

[feralkittymom]

Tiny, were you dissociated? I often experienced spatial distortions when I was dissociated during sessions.

[tinyrabbit]

I also have trouble remembering his name. Which is really weird, as I'm normally very good with names.

[tinyrabbit]

"Tiny, were you dissociated? I often experienced spatial distortions when I was dissociated during sessions." (Just cannot get the hang of doing quotes!)

That's really interesting. I dissociate from physical sensations in my body sometimes, e.g. T will point out that I'm shaking, and I won't feel it. Also, I dissociated from a lot of feelings (I won't remember being scared as I didn't feel it) and memories, so I'm trying to retrieve a lot of things I've dissociated from.

It doesn't feel like a distortion or vision, is the thing. He looks totally normal, real and tangible every time. He just doesn't look the same.

My T told me that, for the first few years of his own personal therapy, he thought his therapist was much older than they were.

[precious things]

Yes! This happens to me every single session. I cant get a grasp on what he looks like or the room we meet in. It always strikes me ,"hey wasn't he like 6'5? why does he look 5'9 today? " Was this couch the same color as last week? It looks new?"

I chalk it up to massive anxiety.

[tinyrabbit]

I swear his hair changes as well. In ways that can't be attributed to it just growing normally.

[unaluna]

Maybe this is partly a man muscle thing. I knew a guy who could look like just a regular skinny guy, but then he could flare up his shoulders like the velociraptor in Jurassic Park and look huge.

[tooski]

Yes this happens with me too. I think it depends on how much power I'm feeling he has. When I think he has a lot of power in the r/s, he seems very large. When I'm feeling powerful, he doesn't appear as physically big. Interesting how perceptions can distort reality. Logic tells me his size doesn't really change but it can sure appear that way to me.

[Perna]

I had that with my T, mostly she looked so much smaller than I did (she was oriental-size to my US, overweight self). I was reminded of my mother buying me a coat for Christmas that I asked for that was 2 sizes wrong, when she had been buying my clothes all my life. Some of it has to do with how we view the other and our feelings about that; it's like dreams and other subjective phenomenon; I found it worth looking at and talking about with T.

[critterlady]

I'm always surprised when I stand near my T that he's not a lot taller. My mental image of him is that he's very tall, but he really isn't.

[tinyrabbit]

We have started sitting side by side on the floor (at my request) so he's up close enough to be able to see how tall he is, but he still seems to change.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Sometimes I see T as sitting really far away from me. I did that with xT also sometimes. I remember looking up at xTs ceiling when I was feeling dissociated and I remember a skylight being there, butI am pretty sure there wasnt one. I do this at work, too. It is kind of cool.

[content30]

My T seems older and taller than she is. For a long time, I thought she was several inches taller than me. Months into therapy, I realized that she is actually about an inch shorter than me. I wonder if it has something to do with me viewing her as wiser and more capable/powerful, etc. it's funny, though, every time we get up to leave the room, I am still surprised and still notice that she is in fact shorter.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Antimatter

Sometimes I see T as sitting really far away from me. I did that with xT also sometimes. I remember looking up at xTs ceiling when I was feeling dissociated and I remember a skylight being there, butI am pretty sure there wasnt one. I do this at work, too. It is kind of cool.

once when i was really upset in session, after getting home I remembered clearly her getting up, coming over, standing over me & talking in a loud stern voice

it was a month before i had the nerve to ask her why she did that, and she said she never did. I believed her because of the odd way her expressiom changed when I related what i 'remembered'.

[murray]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

once when i was really upset in session, after getting home I remembered clearly her getting up, coming over, standing over me & talking in a loud stern voice

it was a month before i had the nerve to ask her why she did that, and she said she never did. I believed her because of the odd way her expressiom changed when I related what i 'remembered'.

That happened to me as well. I remembered him looming over me and yelling...so weird how I minds can mess with us isn't it?

[tinyrabbit]

I sometimes think mine has been standing next to me when he's been sitting in his chair. It is indeed weird how our minds work!

[CantExplain]

T's age does seem to change, and she's always smaller than I remember her.