[gaia67]

I'm giving therapy another try, and I've heard that clients with borderline personality disorder are a therapist's least favorite population to treat. Though I haven't been officially diagnosed, I was told by a former therapist that I have borderline traits, and I believe I most likely have BPD. I'm thinking of giving the therapist a heads up on the phone, and giving him the chance tip back out

[gaia67]

My phone is acting crazy. I meant too ask, wwyd? Does there exist an online resource of therapists who don't mind working with borderlines?

Look for someone trained in DBT. We work with those with Borderline traits. I tend to like that population myself!

[gaia67]

Thanks stormy. Are there therapists who provide DBT on an individual basis, without the client also attending a group?

If they are doing informal DBT. If you do the DBT program than they usually require group. But maybe looking for a DBT program would be helpful, if only to use it as a referral source? Calling them and asking where they refer clients who do not full fledged DBT may be useful

[adel34]

Also, psychology has a place where you can search under personality disorders and look at the therapists there.

[Sunne]

Look for humanistic, maybe. I've had great success with bpd issues with psychodynamic / humanistic stuff. I'm on my way to being cured of it.
T tells me I'm almost there. But he's brilliant.

If it makes you feel more comfortable to disclose it before meeting, then go for it. But not all people with bpd are the same. I actually think many people with this disorder are some f the most interesting I know! Not all T's stigmatize.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by gaia67

I'm giving therapy another try, and I've heard that clients with borderline personality disorder are a therapist's least favorite population to treat. Though I haven't been officially diagnosed, I was told by a former therapist that I have borderline traits, and I believe I most likely have BPD. I'm thinking of giving the therapist a heads up on the phone, and giving him the chance tip back out

Maybe just focus on your symptoms and issues in the initial interview. They can decide for themselves if they can help a client with your problems. You don't have a diagnosis yet, so you aren't hiding anything. Just be yourself and the T will get a good sense of you. I am now working in a position where I diagnose mental health and many times the client comes and says "I have X" and according to my assessment they don't meet criteria for what they think they are. (Most common is that people say they are bipolar and they are not.)

[elliemay]

personally, I wouldn't say anything. A new therapist may disagree with the summary of your "borderline" traits.

Why go in and not let him do his/her job?

I can't think of a person that I have ever met and got to know that DIDN'T have borderline traits.

[ECHOES]

"warn"?? No.

But if that is what I think applies to me, then I would choose a therapist who states they treat personality disorders. I might talk about it during the first session or two.

[elliemay]

Okay, seriously, I would not even try to diagnose myself. It might set you on a course of therapy that is not right for you.

I would let the professionals do their job and go from there. Just be honest with how you are feeling. I just don't think it matters what it is called, or who said it was what.

If it comes out in therapy, it comes out in therapy. The two of you can deal with it from there.

[gaia67]

Thanks for the input, everyone.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by elliemay

I can't think of a person that I have ever met and got to know that DIDN'T have borderline traits.

I agree with that.

I want to know why you would "warn" a therapist about anything? Presumably you want to enter into a professional therapeutic relationship with someone and you are hoping you will exit the relationship without the difficulties you currently experience.

You going to warn parents that children, age two or so throw temper tantrums so they can maybe decide they don't want to be parents? Or are you planning to work hard to continue to engage in borderline actions so they should know you aren't serious about therapy so maybe not want to start with you?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Perna

Or are you planning to work hard to continue to engage in borderline actions so they should know you aren't serious about therapy so maybe not want to start with you?

This seems to me to be quite a bit of a stretch. It could be something as simple as not wanting to become engaged with a therapist who will drop a borderline client once it is found out.

[gaia67]

Originally Posted by stopdog

This seems to me to be quite a bit of a stretch. It could be something as simple as not wanting to become engaged with a therapist who will drop a borderline client once it is found out.

Yep, you're right. That is exactly my motivation.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by stopdog

It could be something as simple as not wanting to become engaged with a therapist who will drop a borderline client once it is found out.

"But the true secret of being a hero lies in knowing the order of things. The swineherd cannot already be wed to the princess when he embarks on his adventures, nor can the boy knock at the witch's door when she is away on vacation. The wicked uncle cannot be found out and foiled before he does something wicked. Things must happen when it is time for them to happen. Quests may not simply be abandoned; prophecies may not be left to rot like unpicked fruit; unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever. The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story."

Peter S. Beagle in The Last Unicorn

There is no generic drop policy that all T's adhere to and no way the T can know anything about you by your saying, "I may be borderline" when they haven't met you. What you take that to mean and what it means to the T cannot be known until you do something borderlineish that the T identifies as such and until the T decides your individual borderlineish behavior is such that they do not want to work with you, the individual. None of that can be known in advance, especially if you have never been diagnosed by any mental health professional as borderlineish. One T's borderline behavior might be another T's anxious behavior (that is exactly what happened in my case).

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by gaia67

Yep, you're right. That is exactly my motivation.

A therapist who states they work with personality disorders would be the way to go then.

[gaia67]

I did end up mentioning it to him. He said he's treated a lot of people from that population, so it's all good.