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#1
Mar 13, 2013, 10:17 AM
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Last night I had my reoccuring tornado dream, but this time it it head on and destroyed everything around me - except me.
Yesterday in session my T told me about changes to his office which may likely be happening at the end of this year. I immediately felt all my walls go up. I felt I didn't even care if he moved all the way to another country. It was a strange sensation of shutting down. I am not sure if it is happening because at this time I was dealing with some internal trauma parts being exposed.... or if it is because of stuff with family... or because of changes at work.... but something snapped over. I woke up this morning shut off emotionally from everything and everyone. It feels safe this way. In an odd way I just wish T would move far away where there was no chance of ever talking to him again for the rest of my stupid life. In another way it feels illogical because he has done nothing wrong... and I know it is my stuff. But what I see I could feel is too much to go through and I am too exhausted with life to process it anyway. But when I think of it that way, I feel there is now no reason to keep trying to heal at all if this mountain will never be one I can climb for whatever dumb reason. IDK. I am really not sure what I am saying but I know if I write about it, it may help me ground. Right now all I see is the static of existance all around me and the eternal nothingness which is beyond pointless to pretend is not the final answer. 
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 BonnieJean, Chopin99, rainbow8, skysblue
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#2
Mar 13, 2013, 10:20 AM
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WePow,
I just wanted to say that I've had recurring tornado dreams for years...usually with me running to find shelter, sometimes it hits full force, sometimes I'm just waiting for impact. Sorry, I just never knew anyone else who had this dream 
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 WePow
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#3
Mar 13, 2013, 10:20 AM
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Maybe hearing about those changes was the straw that broke the camel's back. What is it that's changing?
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| WePow
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#4
Mar 13, 2013, 10:36 AM
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Thanks guys :-) Maybe I finally realized the camel is not even real....
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| Nelliecat
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#5
Mar 13, 2013, 11:08 AM
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HANG IN THERE EVERYONE IT WILL ALL WORK OUT!
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| WePow
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#6
Mar 13, 2013, 11:48 AM
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I sent my post to T and he wrote back and said he heard me. That is fine. I just wonder if it matters now.
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| precious things
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#7
Mar 13, 2013, 11:57 AM
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I don't really know what to say WePow but I just feel like I want to say something. Your post really resonated with me this morning. Since I have no words of wisdom I'm sending a hug.
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| WePow
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| WePow
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#8
Mar 13, 2013, 12:03 PM
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Interesting that the tornado didn't destroy you. You must see yourself as strong. This is great! I just know you can work through this WePow.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| WePow
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#9
Mar 13, 2013, 12:25 PM
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I think I am learning how to not identify WHO I am with who I think T is......
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| rainbow8
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#10
Mar 13, 2013, 12:27 PM
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Can you explain more so that I can understand?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| WePow
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#11
Mar 13, 2013, 01:05 PM
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((wepow))
you've sure had a lot to deal with lately. I'm glad you sent the post to your t and that he heard you. right now you may feel it might not matter but I think in the long run it still matters.
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-BJ 
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| WePow
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#12
Mar 13, 2013, 01:12 PM
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Wepow, I can totally relate to this right now. I am in exactly the same place. For different reasons, but also feeling like I may as well stop even trying to fix myself. And that I couldn't care less if I even see or hear from T again. And this coming from someone who has always adored T and been very attached. Don't want to make this about me, but all I can do is let you know I hear you.
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| WePow
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| WePow
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#13
Mar 13, 2013, 05:11 PM
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Quote:
sorry WePow. Hope things settle down soon. |
| WePow
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| precious things
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#14
Mar 13, 2013, 06:24 PM
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Quote:
__________________
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| rainbow8
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#15
Mar 14, 2013, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| WePow
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| WePow
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#16
Mar 14, 2013, 09:39 AM
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Hi, WePow. I'm reading, but don't know what to say. I kinda understand where you're coming from and just want to say I care about you.
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| WePow
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#17
Mar 14, 2013, 10:15 AM
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just had to switch T because of coverage it was very hard but I am adjusting wish I could send post to my T
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| WePow
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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