[DelusionsDaily]

Nevermind I'll be ok...I think.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

So I have decided to quit T for good. I can't do it. I can't even touch the surface of MAJOR issues without feeling like I'm absolutely disgusting. I'm supposed to call new T tomorrow because he didn't have his calendar with him to schedule my next appt I'm just gonna "forget". He used the rape word and I'm so triggered I can't sleep. UGH!! I wish I could just make it all go away. So I can sleep.

I've felt like that before. I think. Is it like you find it difficult to talk about MAJOR issues without feeling totally disgusting. And your new T used THE WORD that so triggers you that now you feel disgusting and can't even sleep. You want it to go away so you can sleep and have peace. Is that it? Is it different? Is there more?

I've felt like I didn't want to keep going. It was so hard and hurt and I saw things I don't like seeing. And I know the feeling of just wanting some sleep and peace.

I think only you can decide what you need, and when you need it, and how much you can handle. If going and talking about not talking about IT, and talking about other things that you can talk about, then that's okay. If not going helps you more than going, then that may be what you need to do now.

I KNOW the journey can be very hard. I hope you find whatever it is you need to bring you peace, and I think and trust that you are the best person to decide that.

[DelusionsDaily]

Thanks Syra. I'm not so sure I am the best one to decide this..,mostly because I really don't know what's best for me right now.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

Thanks Syra. I'm not so sure I am the best one to decide this..,mostly because I really don't know what's best for me right now.

I totally understand feeling like you/I don't know what's best. Sometimes I am really confused and don't know which way to turn. Happens more often when I hurt, a lot. And if you decide what is best is to let someone you trust make the decision, that is still you being in charge of your life.

Sometimes the best decision isn't the decision that will be most successful to resolve things eventually, just the decision that lets you keep going today and tomorrow, until you get to a place where you can do more. Therapy and decisions are often not a straight line.