[LearningMe01]

I spoke to Doc in a chat last night, he provided some very helpful insight but as I sit here this morning, I still struggle.

To make a long story short(ish) I started going to therapy a little over a year ago to work through some issues that were very prominent at the time. I was in a really bad place and was barely functioning. I was "iffy" about therapy - didn't really believe in it. I'd be lying if I said I went, has this major epiphany and therapy was great, it wasn't at first....I had a hard time opening up to my T and an even harder time trusting her. She broke down a lot of those walls, and we worked through the "Big issue" (the reason I sought help to begin with). I'm still seeing her on a weekly basis, and while I very much enjoy going, it's turned into more of a "social gathering" as of recently. We'll talk about a few things, but for most of the session we'll joke and laugh and BS. I also ran into some transference issues with her (I'm still working through them).

She's a PHD student and isn't much older than I am. She'll also be graduating fairly soon (which scares the crap out of me).

When I went to our usual weekly session last night, something seemed majorly different. She seemed distant and sort of cold (she was also yawning a lot, so she was probably just having a bad day, and I'm reading into it way too much) At one point she asked me what I expected to get out of therapy from this point on, what exactly I want to work on. Now, to me...it sounded like she was asking "why are you still coming here?" sooo...that's what I asked her "Are you asking me why I'm still here??" she was quiet for a moment and said "well, I like to check in from time to time and make sure I'm providing the best services to my clients, that they're getting the most out of the experience" ....Fair enough, right? I mean, it's a good thing - she wants to touch base, it's a sign of a good therapist. For some reason, it hurt. Hearing her say "providing services" and referring to me as her client....and the thing is , I KNOW that our relationship is strictly professional, I'm not oblivious to that fact, but sometimes it just feels like more. It was like I got a stark reminder, a reality check...And even though I knew this, I still feel hurt. Why?

Through the whole session my mind was racing... "why isn't she laughing today? why isn't she joking with me? Oh no! She doesn't like me anymore!"
Sounds completely crazy , huh???

In reality, she was probably just tired, or having a bad day. It happens, therapists are humans also....but my semi-neurotic self can't help but think the worst. And why do I care so much anyway? I mean, as much as it feels like it sometimes, she's not my friend and I shouldn't care if she "likes me anymore". Why do I?

Ughhhhh I never thought I'd end up needing "therapy for my therapy" lol....but clearly I do. Anyone have any info or insight on this? It would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to dwell on it alllll week (until I see her next wednesday) and chances are I will, unless I can get my head sorted out.

[precious things]

That would really bother me and I'm sure I'd be feeling slighted as well. I don't know why she would change her behavior and this, to me, is one of the sucky aspect of therapy (sorry, I'm keepin' it real today)...you put all this time and energy and vulnerability into it and all it takes is for the T to make a comment about services, etc and then it hits you that it really is a one-sided relationship. I'm sorry, realistically, she is probably a burnt out phd student (totally understandable) but that is hard.

Absolutely bring this to her attention the next session, she may backtrack and offer you a more supportive tone.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by precious things

That would really bother me and I'm sure I'd be feeling slighted as well. I don't know why she would change her behavior and this, to me, is one of the sucky aspect of therapy (sorry, I'm keepin' it real today)...you put all this time and energy and vulnerability into it and all it takes is for the T to make a comment about services, etc and then it hits you that it really is a one-sided relationship. I'm sorry, realistically, she is probably a burnt out phd student (totally understandable) but that is hard.

Absolutely bring this to her attention the next session, she may backtrack and offer you a more supportive tone.

Thank you so much. It really helps to know I'm not alone, and that other people would also be bothered by this situation. And my rational side tells me you're right, she's probably just burnt out, or was having a bad day. Sometimes we forget that therapists aren't super humans, and a lot of them have their own "things" to deal with .

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

When I went to our usual weekly session last night, something seemed majorly different. She seemed distant and sort of cold (she was also yawning a lot, so she was probably just having a bad day, and I'm reading into it way too much) At one point she asked me what I expected to get out of therapy from this point on, what exactly I want to work on. Now, to me...it sounded like she was asking "why are you still coming here?" sooo...that's what I asked her "Are you asking me why I'm still here??" she was quiet for a moment and said "well, I like to check in from time to time and make sure I'm providing the best services to my clients, that they're getting the most out of the experience" ....Fair enough, right? I mean, it's a good thing - she wants to touch base, it's a sign of a good therapist. For some reason, it hurt. Hearing her say "providing services" and referring to me as her client....and the thing is , I KNOW that our relationship is strictly professional, I'm not oblivious to that fact, but sometimes it just feels like more. It was like I got a stark reminder, a reality check...And even though I knew this, I still feel hurt. Why?

The therapist-client relationship is, I think, one of the strangest, most unnatural relationships you'll ever find yourself in. It works, but it's just weird. It is so hard to share your most intimate thoughts with someone and know that in the end, it's a professional relationship, not a friendship. As my T keeps reminding me (about other stuff, but it still applies), the logic is only part of the equation...emotion is the other part. Yes, logically, you know it's a professional relationship, but you still feel a deeper connection, and you still feel hurt. That's okay. Try to have some compassion for yourself as you work through your feelings. (OMG, I sound like my T!)

You said your T is a PHD candidate, and that she's not that old? I wonder if some of this is just her own inexperience shining through. My T often brings up the goals conversation, because it is good to check in and make sure that you're still getting what you need out of therapy. Your T could have perhaps worded things a bit better (which is probably the inexperience). Usually, when my T brings up the goal conversation, she will ask me what I wish for myself. I imagine that your T has noticed that sessions have been more social and she's probably trying to steer things back towards working on issues. Sometimes, though, we need a break from the hard stuff.

Personally, if it were my T, I'd bring it up in the next session. I'd tell her that when she asked what I hoped to get out of therapy at this point, that it made me feel like she was rejecting me or telling me she was tired of working with me. I've actually HAD that conversation with my T...she'd made the comment that I'd been working on something for a long time, and I took it completely the wrong way. Talking with T about it established that she did not mean it the way that I took it, and she apologized for giving me that impression. I think it's a good conversation to have, it helps your T learn that the way she phrases things can be triggering, and it helps you to clear up any uncertainties.

Hi LearningMe01,

I think I can understand some of your thinking at the moment.

"At one point she asked me what I expected to get out of therapy from this point on, what exactly I want to work on."

Maybe you felt hurt that she asked you what you want to work on when she knows you're still trying to sort out your transference issues with her. Did you feel that she forgot about that?

"Now, to me...it sounded like she was asking "why are you still coming here?" sooo...that's what I asked her "Are you asking me why I'm still here??" she was quiet for a moment and said "well, I like to check in from time to time and make sure I'm providing the best services to my clients, that they're getting the most out of the experience" ....Fair enough, right? I mean, it's a good thing - she wants to touch base, it's a sign of a good therapist. For some reason, it hurt. Hearing her say "providing services" and referring to me as her client....and the thing is , I KNOW that our relationship is strictly professional, I'm not oblivious to that fact, but sometimes it just feels like more. It was like I got a stark reminder, a reality check...And even though I knew this, I still feel hurt. Why?"

I think, for me anyway, it would still hurt because even though you know it to be true, you don't want it to be true. As you said, it feels like more than just a professional relationship - it's natural to want the other person to feel as you do, so when the feeling isn't reciprocated, or you perceive that it isn't reciprocated, it hurts.

"Through the whole session my mind was racing... "why isn't she laughing today? why isn't she joking with me? Oh no! She doesn't like me anymore!" Sounds completely crazy , huh???"

Well, if it is crazy, then we both are, because that's exactly what I would be thinking. For some reason, I see change as indicating that something is wrong. So to see a change in my T's demeanour would scare me. I'm slowly learning though, that change isn't always a sign of "danger". It's a difficult mindset to change, as any mindset is. As you said, your T may have just been tired or having a bad day. There are reasons outside of her session with you that could have been affecting her.

"...my semi-neurotic self can't help but think the worst."

Try to be kinder to yourself - this is part of the reason that some of us (including me) are in therapy in the first place

"And why do I care so much anyway? I mean, as much as it feels like it sometimes, she's not my friend and I shouldn't care if she "likes me anymore". Why do I?"

You've made a connection with someone who has been helping you, someone who understands how you're feeling and on top of that, you've established a great rapport with this person. I think it would be natural to care whether or not she still likes you, which I'm sure she does, because you don't want to lose this connection.

"Ughhhhh I never thought I'd end up needing "therapy for my therapy" lol....but clearly I do. Anyone have any info or insight on this? It would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to dwell on it alllll week (until I see her next wednesday) and chances are I will, unless I can get my head sorted out."

I hope I've helped even if just a little.

Bluey

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

The therapist-client relationship is, I think, one of the strangest, most unnatural relationships you'll ever find yourself in. It works, but it's just weird. It is so hard to share your most intimate thoughts with someone and know that in the end, it's a professional relationship, not a friendship. As my T keeps reminding me (about other stuff, but it still applies), the logic is only part of the equation...emotion is the other part. Yes, logically, you know it's a professional relationship, but you still feel a deeper connection, and you still feel hurt. That's okay. Try to have some compassion for yourself as you work through your feelings. (OMG, I sound like my T!)

You said your T is a PHD candidate, and that she's not that old? I wonder if some of this is just her own inexperience shining through. My T often brings up the goals conversation, because it is good to check in and make sure that you're still getting what you need out of therapy. Your T could have perhaps worded things a bit better (which is probably the inexperience). Usually, when my T brings up the goal conversation, she will ask me what I wish for myself. I imagine that your T has noticed that sessions have been more social and she's probably trying to steer things back towards working on issues. Sometimes, though, we need a break from the hard stuff.

Personally, if it were my T, I'd bring it up in the next session. I'd tell her that when she asked what I hoped to get out of therapy at this point, that it made me feel like she was rejecting me or telling me she was tired of working with me. I've actually HAD that conversation with my T...she'd made the comment that I'd been working on something for a long time, and I took it completely the wrong way. Talking with T about it established that she did not mean it the way that I took it, and she apologized for giving me that impression. I think it's a good conversation to have, it helps your T learn that the way she phrases things can be triggering, and it helps you to clear up any uncertainties.

Thank you so so much. You really hit the nail on the head. She is a PHD candidate, not that old - in her early 30's. I was actually talking to my Husband about it (shocking, since that doesn't happen often these days lol) and he said the same thing about you, that it's probably her inexperience showing through. She's good at it, and I truly believe that she's going to go on to make an amazing therapist and help a great many people. I just need to remind myself that she's learning too.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by Bluey48

Hi LearningMe01,

I think I can understand some of your thinking at the moment.

"At one point she asked me what I expected to get out of therapy from this point on, what exactly I want to work on."

Maybe you felt hurt that she asked you what you want to work on when she knows you're still trying to sort out your transference issues with her. Did you feel that she forgot about that?

"Now, to me...it sounded like she was asking "why are you still coming here?" sooo...that's what I asked her "Are you asking me why I'm still here??" she was quiet for a moment and said "well, I like to check in from time to time and make sure I'm providing the best services to my clients, that they're getting the most out of the experience" ....Fair enough, right? I mean, it's a good thing - she wants to touch base, it's a sign of a good therapist. For some reason, it hurt. Hearing her say "providing services" and referring to me as her client....and the thing is , I KNOW that our relationship is strictly professional, I'm not oblivious to that fact, but sometimes it just feels like more. It was like I got a stark reminder, a reality check...And even though I knew this, I still feel hurt. Why?"

I think, for me anyway, it would still hurt because even though you know it to be true, you don't want it to be true. As you said, it feels like more than just a professional relationship - it's natural to want the other person to feel as you do, so when the feeling isn't reciprocated, or you perceive that it isn't reciprocated, it hurts.

"Through the whole session my mind was racing... "why isn't she laughing today? why isn't she joking with me? Oh no! She doesn't like me anymore!" Sounds completely crazy , huh???"

Well, if it is crazy, then we both are, because that's exactly what I would be thinking. For some reason, I see change as indicating that something is wrong. So to see a change in my T's demeanour would scare me. I'm slowly learning though, that change isn't always a sign of "danger". It's a difficult mindset to change, as any mindset is. As you said, your T may have just been tired or having a bad day. There are reasons outside of her session with you that could have been affecting her.

"...my semi-neurotic self can't help but think the worst."

Try to be kinder to yourself - this is part of the reason that some of us (including me) are in therapy in the first place

"And why do I care so much anyway? I mean, as much as it feels like it sometimes, she's not my friend and I shouldn't care if she "likes me anymore". Why do I?"

You've made a connection with someone who has been helping you, someone who understands how you're feeling and on top of that, you've established a great rapport with this person. I think it would be natural to care whether or not she still likes you, which I'm sure she does, because you don't want to lose this connection.

"Ughhhhh I never thought I'd end up needing "therapy for my therapy" lol....but clearly I do. Anyone have any info or insight on this? It would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to dwell on it alllll week (until I see her next wednesday) and chances are I will, unless I can get my head sorted out."

I hope I've helped even if just a little.

Bluey

Thank you so much for the thorough response

Here's the thing with the transference....I haven't told her. I knowwww I should have, but I'm sorta one of those people who like to try and work things out on her own (so you can imagine how hard it was for me to start therapy to begin with). I've gotten through the worst of it, and I'd like to believe I really understand what's going on. There are ...other reasons... I felt a little uncomfortable talking to her about my transference (I don't feel comfortable writing them on a public forum, juuuust in case T get's on here and starts browsing at some point, she's the type to do things like that.)

Basically, it just feels to me like I finally let my guard down, developed this awesome relationship with her...and now it's going to change. As if it isn't bad enough that she'll be leaving in a few months and I'll never see her again. I'd like to enjoy the rest of the time I have with her, and not worry so much.

As far as the "semi neurotic" comment goes, I was basically kidding...but I will admit, I could try and be a bit kinder to myself.

You've helped a whole lot, thank you again

LearningMe01

Hey LearningMe01,

I'm glad I was able to help

While I was writing I was wondering if you had actually shared the transference. It's great that you've been able to sort the worst of it yourself. When I talked about it with my now xT, he basically said he didn't know enough about transference to go into it with me , so telling a T is not a guarantee that they'd be able to help you, anyway. (He was CBT trained. How a Clinical Psychologist doesn't learn about Transference is a mystery to me, although I have read online that it isn't a focus of CBT trained Ts work.)

Yeah, I get not wanting to write too much detail on a public forum, especially if you're new to it, or suspect your T might see it.

Try to "hold in" with regard to your thoughts about your relationship with your T. You don't really have any proof that things have changed, it's just an assumption/suspicion so far, so try to wait and see what happens. (This is something I've been told to try to do lately when I feel the way you do about someone when they seem to be acting differently toward me.)

Please let us know how things go.

Bluey

[Syra]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

Thank you so much for the thorough response
Basically, it just feels to me like I finally let my guard down, developed this awesome relationship with her...and now it's going to change. As if it isn't bad enough that she'll be leaving in a few months and I'll never see her again. I'd like to enjoy the rest of the time I have with her, and not worry so much.
LearningMe01

It sounds like you think it might have just been a down day for her.

Or it might be that things have changed. If things changed,
I think therapists sometimes have troubles with boundaries, even good therapists, particularly young therapists, and then when they realized they've gone too far they have to figure out how to bring it back. That's a painful process, and AFAIC it's not the client's issues, but the client still has to deal with it, because if the therapist isn't comfortable, there isn't going to be much therapy.

I think that happened with my therapist. She didn't handle it well, and it was hard. I did go to therapy for my therapy. It's been a very very good thing. I'm almost glad it happened.

I hope this works out well.

[Chopin99]

I have a slightly different perspective. My T doesn't believe in transference. She said the feelings in the therapy room are real. I think your T is probably struggling with her feelings; especially because she is still in school and inexperienced. Your reaction and attachment to her is perfectly normal. Bluey had a good response to you. Good luck!

[Victoria'smom]

We'll talk about a few things, but for most of the session we'll joke and laugh and BS. <---This is my go to avoidance technique. She may have figured out that and doesn't want to “play” into that with you. Asking “what I expected to get out of therapy from this point on, what exactly I want to work on.” may be her trying to get “back on track” with you. Sorry it's hurting so much.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I have a slightly different perspective. My T doesn't believe in transference. She said the feelings in the therapy room are real. I think your T is probably struggling with her feelings; especially because she is still in school and inexperienced. Your reaction and attachment to her is perfectly normal. Bluey had a good response to you. Good luck!

Thank you! I once asked her about transference. I was new to therapy and had been doing a little "research" on it. I found all this information about transference, and how some therapists will try and trigger transference on purpose. I was actually quite mad, and felt like I was being "duped". It sorta felt like our whole therapy relationship was a lie. (I didn't tell her I thought I was experiencing transference, just that I had read about it.)

When I brought it up, she looked at me and said "oohhhhh, WOW" sat back in her chair and was quiet. (She seemed so shocked that I brought it up, for a moment I almost felt like I had done something wrong) And she said the same thing as your T "I don't really believe in transference. I'm not being who I think you need me to be, I can't do that, I'm just being me." Which made me feel a whole lot better.

And you're right, it did occur to me that she may be struggling with her feelings. Her and I have very similar personalities and we also enjoy the same type of humor, and I can imagine how hard it would be to try and stay strictly professional with someone you actually enjoy talking with. During one of our sessions she said "you know, I can't be myself around all my clients - there are some that I have to adjust my tone and personality for so I don't offend them...and then there are clients who make me feel comfortable enough to be myself (meaning me) and we tend to have the best chemistry."

Soooo, thank you. I really am feeling a whole lot better today.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by Syra

It sounds like you think it might have just been a down day for her.

Or it might be that things have changed. If things changed,
I think therapists sometimes have troubles with boundaries, even good therapists, particularly young therapists, and then when they realized they've gone too far they have to figure out how to bring it back. That's a painful process, and AFAIC it's not the client's issues, but the client still has to deal with it, because if the therapist isn't comfortable, there isn't going to be much therapy.

I think that happened with my therapist. She didn't handle it well, and it was hard. I did go to therapy for my therapy. It's been a very very good thing. I'm almost glad it happened.

I hope this works out well.

Thank you very much I have a feeling she may have realized that she'd gone a bit to far. I told her something once, a bad experience I had years ago, and it really seemed to strike a nerve with her. She was visably pissed off about what happened...to the point where I was saying "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad." and she wasn't answering me. She wasn't mad at me, but mad at what happened to me. I believe it was a subject she's very passionate about in her own life and accidentally let it show during therapy. She was never really the same towards me after that day - I noticed that her demeanor changed quite a lot, and she stopped looking "affected" by the things I would tell her. I figured she was upset that she let her personal feelings show and was trying to give herself a reality check.

Here's the thing though. Her being herself does nothing more than show me that she is human. Her beliefs or opinions aren't going to offend me, or interfere with my therapy, I'm very non judgemental l and believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Nothing she believes in would ever stop me from telling her my beliefs - but I guess, for a lot of clients, it does pose an issue. With me, seeing the "real" her actually helped, it made the whole therapy process feel less deceiving. If in fact she is trying to "bring it back" to a more professional level - I believe it's hurting me more than if she just continued to be herself. It makes me want to put my walls back up. Ya know?

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

We'll talk about a few things, but for most of the session we'll joke and laugh and BS. <---This is my go to avoidance technique. She may have figured out that and doesn't want to “play” into that with you. Asking “what I expected to get out of therapy from this point on, what exactly I want to work on.” may be her trying to get “back on track” with you. Sorry it's hurting so much.

Thank you. I do think that has a lot to do with it. And I did notice myself avoiding certain things. It does hurt though, makes me wish she caught me using my "avoidance technique" a few months ago, that way it wouldn't have gone this far, and would probably be less painful. I just have to remind myself that she's only human though, she's not a superhero.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

Here's the thing though. Her being herself does nothing more than show me that she is human. Her beliefs or opinions aren't going to offend me, or interfere with my therapy, I'm very non judgemental l and believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Nothing she believes in would ever stop me from telling her my beliefs - but I guess, for a lot of clients, it does pose an issue. With me, seeing the "real" her actually helped, it made the whole therapy process feel less deceiving. If in fact she is trying to "bring it back" to a more professional level - I believe it's hurting me more than if she just continued to be herself. It makes me want to put my walls back up. Ya know?

I totally know. I understand that her being herself shows you she's human and doesn't interfere with your therapy. You liked seeing the "real" her. It made things feel genuine, and not some antiseptic process? Is that it?

I totally understand how trying to "bring it back" can be worse than what was happening. I think the same thing happened to me. It's really really lousy. Hurts very very much. I think it's one of the few things that is totally out of the client's influence even when it's among the most painful. The more reasonable and understanding I was, the more she felt I was trying to be a "friend" and not a "client" (oversimplification) I think. I don't really know. She refused to discuss it in any way. I think she lied about some things (possibly to herself also) The only thing I think might help is for the therapist to be totally honest about the dynamics (not necessary a lot of background on what triggered the T - just owning the trigger, and owning the new way of being as her protecting herself and the therapy, not a defense against the client. I don't know how many therapists could do that. I don't know how to ask for it, as even suggesting it is a role reversal for the client.

I wish you grace in proceeding with this.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by Syra

I totally know. I understand that her being herself shows you she's human and doesn't interfere with your therapy. You liked seeing the "real" her. It made things feel genuine, and not some antiseptic process? Is that it?

I totally understand how trying to "bring it back" can be worse than what was happening. I think the same thing happened to me. It's really really lousy. Hurts very very much. I think it's one of the few things that is totally out of the client's influence even when it's among the most painful. The more reasonable and understanding I was, the more she felt I was trying to be a "friend" and not a "client" (oversimplification) I think. I don't really know. She refused to discuss it in any way. I think she lied about some things (possibly to herself also) The only thing I think might help is for the therapist to be totally honest about the dynamics (not necessary a lot of background on what triggered the T - just owning the trigger, and owning the new way of being as her protecting herself and the therapy, not a defense against the client. I don't know how many therapists could do that. I don't know how to ask for it, as even suggesting it is a role reversal for the client.

I wish you grace in proceeding with this.

YES! You hit the nail on the head! It's very relieving to know that someone understands what you're going through - I tried to talk to a few people (in my family) about it...but it almost seems like they think I'm weird for being so affected, or that I'm just imagining things.
Honestly, I really hope I did just take her mood out of context. I'm hoping that she was in fact just tired, or having a bad day...but I have a sneaking suspicion that isn't the case.

Up to this point, her and I have had a wonderful rapport, so If she's acting "strange" during out next session I believe I'll bring it up. I have some issues with letting people know I need or depend on them (one of the things we're working on in therapy) and I have a way of letting people just walk out of my life. I don't want this to end on a bad note (since she'll be leaving in a few months anyway).

I don't think she's aware that the damage she will cause (to my emotions or to my view on therapy/therapist) will be far worse than anything she thinks might happen by remaining "friendly" with me. She really has helped me a lot and I'd like to have my memory of her and of the therapy experience in general, be a positive one.

Thanks again, you've really helped.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

In reality, she was probably just tired, or having a bad day. It happens, therapists are humans also....but my semi-neurotic self can't help but think the worst. And why do I care so much anyway? I mean, as much as it feels like it sometimes, she's not my friend and I shouldn't care if she "likes me anymore". Why do I?

FANTASY DIALOG:

You: You seem a little remote today. Is something wrong between us or are you just tired?

[Syra]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

Thanks again, you've really helped.

You're very welcome

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

FANTASY DIALOG:

You: You seem a little remote today. Is something wrong between us or are you just tired?

Well,I attempted something like that except it just came out as "You look really tired." which isn't usually well received. It's not usually a good idea to tell a woman she "looks tired" lol

[Syra]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

Well,I attempted something like that except it just came out as "You look really tired." which isn't usually well received. It's not usually a good idea to tell a woman she "looks tired" lol

I've said that before. Seems okay to me if it is said out of concern - either for your therapy, or her health, or both.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

Well,I attempted something like that except it just came out as "You look really tired." which isn't usually well received. It's not usually a good idea to tell a woman she "looks tired" lol

It's difficult to find the right words in a tight place.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

It's difficult to find the right words in a tight place.

lol Tell me about it.