[bluemountains]

Thanks for putting up with my whining for the past couple weeks as I try to work with a new therapist. I was a little bit resentful that my old t said I needed to keep going because I wasn't ready to stop therapy yet, after all she deserted me!
I talked with my pdoc today, and she was concerned that I don't have a t relationship in place. Evidently she considers me a bit unsettled, probably because I was asking her for help to quit all meds.
I am preparing for my second meeting with the one I started with last week. I have questions to ask, as I think I stated earlier. Dog person or cat person? Married, Not married but in a relationship, Single? Kids? Religious?
These are the things that will allow me definition.
Are there any questions that you have asked or would like to ask that might make it easier to relate to your therapist?
Bluemountains

[archipelago]

I tend not to ask personal questions until they come up related to specific things that have happened in therapy. For me, it is important to understand what their overall approach is, what influences them in terms of psychology, how many years of experience they have and things like that. Sometimes people don't answer such things. Or are vague about it. That is information too. It's just like if I started with a new physician, I would ask him if he knows things about nutrition and alternative medicine, since these things aren't typical in training but are important to me. Hope it works out. It is an important relationship so doing what you can to feel it's right for you is great to do before you get in too deep and realize it is not what you want or need.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

Thanks for putting up with my whining for the past couple weeks as I try to work with a new therapist. I was a little bit resentful that my old t said I needed to keep going because I wasn't ready to stop therapy yet, after all she deserted me!
I talked with my pdoc today, and she was concerned that I don't have a t relationship in place. Evidently she considers me a bit unsettled, probably because I was asking her for help to quit all meds.
I am preparing for my second meeting with the one I started with last week. I have questions to ask, as I think I stated earlier. Dog person or cat person? Married, Not married but in a relationship, Single? Kids? Religious?
These are the things that will allow me definition.
Are there any questions that you have asked or would like to ask that might make it easier to relate to your therapist?
Bluemountains

Are you planning on asking your new therapist about being married/what religion they are?

Just be prepared for them to choose not to answer. Those are pretty personal questions. Therapy is about YOU, not about them sharing their personal life.

They could answer, but just thought I should say something.

Things that they shouldn't shy away from are questions about their therapeutic approach, what their philosophy is about termination, what are the boundaries regarding out-of-session contact, will they work with other health professionals related to your care (and is this included or is it an extra charge?)....those are some main things.

[stopdog]

The ones I see both told me about their relational status, children and religion without me asking. For some people those are important to know. If you have questions and a therapist does not want to answer them, then my opinion is to search until you find a therapist who will.

[Victoria'smom]

Hospitalization policies
Have you worked with ___ DX a lot?
What about (most upsetting) symptom?
How fast/ how often can you see a client in crisis?
What do you consider a crisis?
what outside forms of communication or in between session communications?
Are you willing to work with __________ pdoc?
Do you have hospital affiliations?

[bluemountains]

My therapist has every right not to answer any questions, as is the case for me, the client. I just feel the need to work with a real person. Why are these particular questions important? Even though none of these will make a difference as to whether she can do the job or not, it will just help me to feel a more personal relationship-something I need if sharing all of me. Now the what ifs-dogs or cats will just let me know whether she likes animals, a comfort of mine. The family questions let me know whether or not we can share and compare, at times, no reflection of her ability to help me through my relationships. As for the religion question, this is the one that she may avoid, but I will spend a lot of time talking about my faith, or lack of it, at times. If she is not spiritual at all, it will let me know that I may need to look elsewhere. I am not expecting religious advice, I have my own beliefs-I just have a need to be around those who believe in a higher power, just me-no judgement of anyone else!
Bluemountains

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Hospitalization policies
Have you worked with ___ DX a lot?
What about (most upsetting) symptom?
How fast/ how often can you see a client in crisis?
What do you consider a crisis?
what outside forms of communication or in between session communications?
Are you willing to work with __________ pdoc?
Do you have hospital affiliations?

Thanks, MM! These are very important. I already know that she has worked with bp a lot. This was my top priority. She was a psych. nurse for fifteen years before getting her psychology degree.
The other questions, I will definitely add to my list.
Bluemountains

[rainbow8]

I can identify with wanting to know those things about your T. If a T doesn't tell me, I find out on my own which is unhealthy. It's better to ask directly. One day I asked my T questions like: what's you favorite song, color, food, what makes you sad, angry. I was surprised that she answered all of my questions. She won't talk about her husband, though she did a little bit in the past. She mentioned her kids in her website so she's not private about them. I wanted to see a T who was the same religion as I am, so I can see why that could be important.

Some Ts are more private about their personal life which they have a right to be, of course. If your new T doesn't want to answer, tell her why you want to know, as you posted. I think your reasons are valid! Good luck!