Ready to move on to replacement t #2

As some of you may remember from earlier posts, I got blindsided by my ex-t when she moved with only one final session before that happened.
I started with a new one, a clinical psychologist, for four visits and have found that this is not a fit. She only asks about my family, no advice, no checking in on my mental status with my bipolar dx, no follow up on abuse incidences that I had been working on.
So now I have moved on in my search. I find it very uncomfortable to cancel with the current t, but hopefully I can do so through a phone message instead of directly.
I have made an appt. with a new t, and this time I want to make sure that this will be a better relationship before getting too far into the meetings. I explained to her over the phone what my needs are. My pdoc likes feedback from my t sessions, and I still need to work through abuse from the past.
Does anyone have any telling questions that might help to see if this will be a good relationship? I am still not over the relationship with my last t, so this is hard.
Thanks for any advice you can offer!
Bluemountains

Here is a list developed on another site that might be useful to look at:
Questions for a new T - Topic

Thanks, Stopdog. I find these questions to be very helpful. I am learning not to be at the mercy of the therapist in hoping that she is able to read my needs. Actually, even after a couple of years of therapy, I still feel quite naive about the whole therapy process. My pdoc says to get feedback from the t, but I don't know what to ask in order to help with controlling my bp.

Good suggestions for how to help self-manage bp: Bipolar Support and Self-Help: Living with Bipolar Disorder

I'd just ask how much experience they have had helping bipolar patients, or how familiar they are with bipolar support and resources to help (not to see if their Uncle Todd has it, but to elicit that they have quite a few clients with bipolar illness and are aware of the intricacies of good support).

But for me, I'd still mostly judge whether they were what I wanted by how I interacted with them, how I felt with them, not necessarily how they answered phone questions.

I'm sorry this isn't working out. I'm not very eloquent in describing what constitutes a good 'fit' -I think for some it's kind of a gut feeling, but it can take many sessions, sometimes, to determine if this is the case.

It occurred to me, though, that maybe this therapist isn't following up at this stage on abuse issues because she thinks it's too early? Maybe she wants to get to know you better in other ways before going into this?

Also, as far as checking in on mood related to bipolar, my therapist only does this if and when he notices changes in me that might indicate hypomania, which for me can and has dangerously led to mania. Though I don't know if you're having difficulties at the moment in that regard that do need to be addressed right now or if it's that you prefer someone who will track things on a session to session basis.

It must be so hard for you after the previous abrupt ending, I just can't imagine how painful that must be. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone who's a good fit for you and who is willing to delve into the issues you want to address.

Thanks, Ultramar, and you are right about the possibility of the timing and it being too early. I am just not feeling that a relationship is developing in the way I would like, so I don't want to keep trying to find the good. I spend much of the time with her prompting me to talk about my family. I am not there to cure them of their needs. We have other therapy sessions for this.

Yes, it is very hard to abruptly stop and have to completely start over. I think this is why I want to hear a plan up front before I get involved with this new therapist. I know she uses some CBT, which I have already been through, but to refer back to this therapy is helpful. I am going in with written questions this time. I think it will ease my discomfort to a list to refer to.

Thank you for your input!

Bluemountains