About surviving a complaint against T

I was perusing amazon.com and this book popped up on the "persons who bought this book also looked at...."
Surviving Complaints Against Counsellors and Psychotherapists [Paperback]

and as I read about it, I started getting very annoyed - somewhat unfairly. It is a book to help Ts avoid and deal with official complaints against them. The write-up recognizes these may be legitimate complaints, as well as vexious ones.

As I read the blurb, I wanted to scream "but what about clients surviving the complaint process" - which, of course, is not what this author chose to write about.

So I got to thinking, what would we say to clients about how to survive a complaint. I don't know how much we have to say, as I don't know how many of us have done it, so perhaps we should expand the subject to not just what we say about how to survive it, but how we feel about considering a formal complaint of some sort. What are our fears? Why are we reluctant? or what makes us decide to do it?

I think it is easier to get a handle on the therapist side of handling a complaint as it doesn't really matter if it is legitimate or vexing whereas it's "personal" on the clients' side and there can be a whole lot more angst and emotional difficulty as well as the legal process (if there is one).

I feel it's kind of like applying for SSDI or SSI; from the Government's side, they apply their process and paperwork, etc. and approve or deny, go through the review process if applicable, rinse, and repeat. But the client has to fill out all those papers and be part of the process, sometimes getting put through the wringer because it's not the client's process, it's the Government's.

With a complaint, the person complaining has to make their case and make everything happen, the therapist's lawyer pretty much just "responds". Yes it has to be worrisome for a therapist to get a complaint against them and deal with it; they can lose their insurance, their license, maybe their credibility (if a smallish town/group of therapists), etc. but it's more routine, like the Government's part of SSDI/SSI than the other side that has to instigate it and create something where nothing exists now, there's no routine on the complainant's side.

If I were going to counsel someone on how to survive; I'd suggest they take it less "personally" and make lists of procedure, just as I would for someone applying for SSDI/SSI. Instead of worrying about the result, I'd focus on the process, on "now" and getting what I wanted done, done.

It's horrible for a licensed profession to get a notification of complaint from their licensing board. HORRIBLE. Just so you know. I actually think it's way easier to submit a formal complaint than to receive one. That's just my opinion though.

BUT...for someone who has lodged a complaint, and is going thru hell I would say to find people on your side and listen to them often. Constantly remind yourself why. Write the scenario out and keep it handy, use this original writing for every form. And, like everything else, it gets better with time.

I haven't survived it yet, but I'd love to hear from anyone who has.

A part of the fear/reluctance for me, is that the client is the one who supposedly has the issues. And I don't want to have my private issues aired in a manner that could make my very real complaints seem invalid. But I don't know - never been through the process, not much to be found online about it.

Also reluctant because it feels like betrayal - even though he betrayed me. I think about his family. I think about how it wasn't always bad. Yet somewhere inside of me, I refuse to be shamed by this. I KNOW he exploited and used me. I know I tend to be a person who brushes off things, would never seek action such as this. In order for me to do it, it must be a very serious situation.

I also know that he had a few other "chosen ones". I wish one of them would have reported him - that they could have saved me from this pain. So I find I decide to do it to help other innocent clients. And hope that others in the same profession (board members) will understand that I was the client and force him to take the responsibility that he completely avoids.

I thought that was a really good point that there should be a book like that for clients too. I searched around to see if I could find anything, and I found a lot more books for therapists. I didn't find anything exactly about dealing with complaints for clients. I suppose maybe it's easier to sell a book like that to a group of therapists than to find clients who need to deal with the issue. But surely the therapists after the therapists who screw up could use a book to give to their clients. And some of these books are written by academics to put on their resume instead of to be able to sell a lot of copies right?

Here are somewhat related things I found. But if anyone on here wants to write a book, that seems like a topic that needs to be covered.

Sexual misconduct by psychologists :
who reports it? Sexual misconduct by psychologists: Who reports it? - Antioch New England | Antioch New England

What to Do When Psychotherapy Goes WrongShirley J. Siegel. Stop Abuse by Counselors Publishing Co., Tukwila, WA, 1991, 173 pages.
Book review:
http://www.csj.org/pub_csj/csjbookreview/csjbkrev101what.htm



Can psychotherapists hurt you? Can Psychotherapists Hurt You?: Judith Striano: 9780943659039: Amazon.com: Books

Edit- I didn't read these webpages, just skimmed to see if they appeared to be on the topic.

Sorry. I wrote something, then edited (about 3 times), then decided to say nothing at all. I'm afraid to post about the betrayal.