[QuietCat]

I'm going through this situation where I know one of T's other patients, and I just sort of hate her a lot.

Unfortunately I have to see her in a class once a week, and she's not easy to ignore because she's very into sharing her entire life misery with the rest of the class.

I brought up the fact that I think I know one of T's other patients in session last week. T was of course blank and wouldn't give any indication, but I'm still sure she is. Mostly T was interested in me knowing that he was not bothered or upset that I brought this issue to him. He said it's normal for me to feel jealousy, due to my past history. He said usually his patients want to know if he likes them more or less than another patient.

I told him I was sure he liked me more, and I still am.

BUT, this girl seriously turned me into an angry, angry person last class when I saw her again. I have a difficult time keeping myself from expressing anger outright at her. She is not even aware I exist. She sits in front of class, I sit in back.

I want to talk to T about this girl more and explain how irritated she makes me. My concern is that it will be awkward for T to listen to me explain to him all the reasons why this girl frustrates and annoys me. He may have to work to keep blank with me and not indicate if he recognizes any of the things I repeat to him about her. I mean she just vents her whole life in class. I know a lot.

[CantExplain]

Madame T would call this "sibling rivalry". But that's just her.

[anilam]

Did this girl irritate you before you knew she was your T's client?
You may as well dislike her because of her.

However, talking about her with your T sounds a bit suspicious. Do you really dislike her so much that you want to spend the precious time you have with your T talking about her or is it more connected with her being your T client?
In general I think it's OK to talk about her in your therapy- your T should be able to deal whether or not he knows her or not. Just be honest why.

BTW, how can you be sure she's your T's client?

[BonnieJean]

I think the feelings it generates are worth exploring further with t. They exist whether or not she is his patient by just the fact that you think so.

Your T can handle this. Just talk about it. I suspect there is some reason this girl seems to trigger such anger for you that needs to be explored.

[Anne2.0]

I have talked to my T about one of his other clients, the H of one of my good friends. I do not like my friend's H, as he is emotionally abusive to her and I was very concerned that we not overlap as clients (I didn't want him to know that I saw T).

I did feel like you did, that it wasn't fair to him to dump about one of his clients. But he's trained as a couples and family T, and that's basically ALL that happens in their sessions-- they rag on each other, and the other person is right in the room there-- and T has to keep it together. So I figured me b*tching about this guy when he wasn't even there would be easier.

I did realize something important through my discussion with T about him, which is that I'm afraid of him, if she were to ever leave him (which I don't think she will), I feel that he might come after me or my family. It was also important for T to realize that we needed to be scheduled separately.

So I think it's worth talking about-- and Chris is right in my opinion, your T will be fine. The question is whether it will be therapeutic for you-- and it sounds like it might. I think she is a prototype of a kind of person who irritates/angers a lot of people-- I don't care for people to dump all of their history all over unsuspecting people either.

[lemon80s]

I guess you should discuss it with your T but be sure that you aren't latching into this for the 'wrong' reasons. To give you an outside connection to T maybe and to see if you can get a reaction out of T. Though if it's a skilled T then he will be able to deal with that too. Goodluck

[struggling2]

i had this "sibling rivalry"....only bothered my other patients of T's who are same age as me and female like me. Holy maternal attachment and wanting to be the most important. Did NOT want to share MY T! Crappy feelings for sure, but we talked and talked about it and I feel much better now. Im much more secure in our relationship.

[tinyrabbit]

I don't want to know who any of my T's other clients are so I can totally sympathise. I think it's worth exploring further with your T!

[QuietCat]

Originally Posted by anilam

Did this girl irritate you before you knew she was your T's client?
You may as well dislike her because of her.

BTW, how can you be sure she's your T's client?

I would honestly dislike her even if she wasn't one of his clients. There are several other people in the class that sigh and roll their eyes when she starts talking. But knowing she's one of his clients adds to it.

I'm fairly sure I saw her leaving his office before one of my appointments once. And she just says things that I know T has said to me before about how to fight depression, etc.