Post-session fuzziness

I feel absolutely awful for not responding to people's very thoughtful comments on my last thread. I want to, but I keep feeling really triggered by all of it.

This isn't really an update, but I did see my T today for the first time since having had such a strong urge to quit (and to stay). I'm thinking about posting about the session, but I feel too wrung out to really say anything now. I know I'm dissociating right now too and I can't really remember a lot of the details, can feel the familiar brain haze. I hate it when this happens. I need to get my butt off the couch and make dinner, but I feel a little stuck. Like literally stuck.

That is called "freezing" it is another central nervous system response to threats like dissociation. I do that.

I'm sorry...I try to write notes in my phone during session or immediately after my sessions so that I can remember what my T says.

I'm sorry you feel stuck....

I'm sorry you experience this too, moodswing. I did finally get off the couch and make some kick *** black bean burritos

Intergration is difficult. When we allow ourselves to fill the ambivience inside, we do what we feel protects us. Wanting to quit & stay are both powerful emotions.

I hope your session was productive.

I get that stuckness, too. I'll be stuck for hours, wanting to do something but unable to make myself do it. It's frustrating, but Mouse is right, when I listen to my ambivalence it is a lot easier to move out of it.