[stopdog]

Do you think believing a therapist cares or does not care impacts the therapy itself? Multiple responses are allowed.

[pbutton]

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who will vote like this:

believing a therapist cares about me positively impacts my therapy
ack ack ack

But that is exactly what it's like inside my head.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who will vote like this:

believing a therapist cares about me positively impacts my therapy
ack ack ack

But that is exactly what it's like inside my head.

That is why I made it multiple response possible.

[BonnieJean]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who will vote like this:

believing a therapist cares about me positively impacts my therapy
ack ack ack

But that is exactly what it's like inside my head.

I voted that way, too...

[scorpiosis37]

My therapist and I tell each other that we care about each other. Without feeling that the caring went both ways, I don't think I could do successful therapy.

My T cares quite deeply about and my whole family (he has worked with all of us). I cannot imagine having therapy in a situation where that caring wasn't abundantly clear. For me, the caring is what fosters trust and openness and transparency. It provides security and safety in that relationship.

[doyoutrustme]

Therapy is the weirdest and most paradoxal relationship ever. It's like having a hooker for caring. But a good one really should care, regardless of payment. They need to make a living, and their services are very valuable.

[HealingTimes]

I voted how i normally feel, which is that believing a therapist cares about me positively impacts my therapy, and also I do not believe it matters whether a therapist cares about me (oops, i read that wrong, i thought it said I DO believe it matters whether a therapist cares about me)...sorry!

[unaluna]

Dmt I didn't see the part about multiple responses. Definitely yes with an ack ack ack. Just cuz they look so disgusted and disgruntled when they see how unattached I still am, and the smiles on their faces and how they wag their little puppy dog tails when I show a little luv....

[EllieBear]

Maybe this sounds crazy, but until I saw my therapist care about me I didn't know how to care about myself, or anyone else really. I had a very isolated very bad childhood and a very isolated very bad marriage, and there was never a person in my life who showed me any real caring. I learned how to "appear" caring and how to act like I was engaging with people by watching society, but it was a shell and I was completely empty inside. It's hard to explain. But my T had me read a book by Bruce Perry called "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog". Perry did a lot of research on how trauma in the first few years of life affects the brain and I felt like the light turned on and I felt understood for the first time. Anyway, my point is, he developed a treatment model and actually researched the changes in the brain as these kids were loved and cared about by their Ts. Before I read that I felt ashamed and guilty that my T's caring meant so much to me. I felt like I shouldn't want it. But I have to say it's been the most healing aspect of therapy for me.

[content30]

I put that believing a therapist cares about me positively impacts my therapy.

Over the last several years, I have seen/personally chosen to see three individual Ts (a Psychologist and two LPCs). I have also seen several LSW and Group Ts, both in-patient and in out-patient programs. I never cared if they cared and figured that they really didn’t, not deeply, anyway, until I found my current T. After a while, I could tell that she genuinely cared and was genuinely involved in my therapy. That is when I really started to notice the change in me. I started caring too and improved drastically. When I talked to my T about it and told her how she was the best T I’d ever seen, she said that it wasn’t that she was necessarily that good or that my other Ts were that bad but just that she and I had an excellent therapeutic relationship. She said that the T relationship is the most important indicator of how helpful therapy will be (in her opinion). I guess, I tend to agree with that, except that I beg to differ on the point that she is not way more of an excellent T than all other Ts that I have seen—she is! I started researching the therapeutic relationship, therapy, etc., and that is how I stumbled upon this site, several months ago. It’s all so very interesting to me….

[tinyrabbit]

I need to feel like my T cares for me or therapy would push me over the edge. I was very emotional today and I felt very cared for, which helped.

[Willowleaf]

I voted for other as I want to feel that she cares as i think it would have a positive impact, but I find it hard to feel that. On the other hand I don't feel that she doesn't care. I'm just a little ambivalent. I pay for a service. She gives it. She says I pay for her time and training and that the caring just happens, but if I stop paying then she will stop caring so I have a few issues!

If I didn't have a caring, and knowledgeable therapist. I would still be waiting till my kid was on his own, so that I could finally leave this world, or maybe, finding things to keep me hanging on a few more hours, days, or a week. I was hanging onto life by my thumbs, since I was three years old. The women has saved my life! I am finally living life; my life, and enjoying more of it every day. Thank you F!

[tooski]

I think it's actually a requirement with me that my T cares about me. He doesn't have to love me, I don't have to be his all-time favorite patient, but I cannot tolerate indifference in a close relationship, and I believe a lot of work gets done in therapy through the therapeutic relationship between T & client. I guess it's a called a dyad??

Anyhoo, I've discovered I can't/won't trust anyone who I don't think cares about me a little bit - i.e., is not completely indifferent to me. That goes for my physician, dentist, etc. I have to be sedated for nearly any dental work I have done, and I'm not letting myself get knocked out by someone I don't trust.

If I truly believed my T didn't give a rat's patootie about whether I lived or died, I'd never be able to open up to him and be vulnerable. So yeah, he better care about me!!!!

[JustWannaDisappear]

At my last session I realized she does care. I've always known she is a very caring and wonderful therapist, but when I finally let her in and told her how much I hate myself she started crying.

That shocked me.

[likelife]

I was shocked too when my T got teary related to something I was disclosing about my childhood.

[TheRealFDeal]

I also chose both believing a therapist cares about me positively impacts my therapy and ack ack ack. I too believe that T's caring fosters trust. But I hate it. At the end, xT made me feel like it was wrong or at least unnecessary for there to be mutual caring. I always thought it was there, so now I feel stupid. And I feel like I did something to make him stop caring about me.

[feralkittymom]

I'd have to agree with EllieBear: I had no idea what it felt like to be cared about, nor could I do it for myself until I had experienced caring from my T over a long time. It didn't feel bad, but would trigger a very deep sadness for a long time. It felt amazingly wonderful when that sadness disappeared, and I could just accept and enjoy and reciprocate the caring.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm really struggling today. Left voicemail for my T, who is fully booked - but got back to me 12 minutes later with an extra appointment early on Friday. Guess I got lucky and caught him between sessions, but it was clear he cared. Which definitely helped.

This one is actually really hard. On the one hand - ack ack ack. On the other, I don't think I could trust my T to the extent that I do if he did not display a professionally caring attitude while I'm there, so yes, it definitely has a positive impact.

I guess I'm a little vague on what it really means that T cares; my T does not reply to messages unless it's specific questions about e.g. scheduling, and I can't imagine him starting to cry at anything I could tell him. But he's said a couple of times that he'd like for me to feel that I'm not doing this therapy thing all alone, and that's an amazingly caring statement. (It's not strictly true of course, but the sentiment is nice.) I know he's not wondering how I am doing between my appointments, but he makes a good impression of really wanting to know while I'm there. So, yeah. "Other".

[~EnlightenMe~]

I know that my T cares about me as a patient, and this has definitely had a positive impact on my therapy.

[The_little_didgee]

My psychiatrist is my therapist so she doesn't express her personal feelings all that much. When she does, it can be quite surprising. A few months ago, she told me she cared about me.

Her gestures also indicate care and concern. She give me a lozenge not too long ago, because I had a cold. When she does things like this, I see her human side. It makes me feel much more comfortable.

[o.kay]

Originally Posted by Willowleaf

I voted for other as I want to feel that she cares as i think it would have a positive impact, but I find it hard to feel that. On the other hand I don't feel that she doesn't care. I'm just a little ambivalent. I pay for a service. She gives it. She says I pay for her time and training and that the caring just happens, but if I stop paying then she will stop caring so I have a few issues!

You put that well. I feel the same way.

I feel like a therapist caring about me is their job. Not sure which option that is.
Maybe if there was a "blah" one.