[Bloem]

Two months ago I started a psychological diagnostic test to see if I DID and an examination of my personality. I've been five times. I had to fill in a lot of lists and got several interviews. My T is a psychiatrist and can diagnose but she decided that an independent person outside her practice would do the diagnostic tests. I know my T for three years, and she has often thought that I had DID, she never told me that. Only when we started with trauma therapy she talked about a form of dissociation that she wanted to find out if I had that.
When I heard that, I was very angry at her I told her she was crazy. She said she just wanted to be sure so she can offer the right therapy. Then we talked about sessions I sometimes could not remember. And that i always did my best to hide it, I always had excuses and because i did that she didnt confronted me because I was not ready for it. But when we began trauma therapy, I often began to dissociate. And the different parts that she had seen before came more outside. Now i know that i have parts but it is difficult to accept. They have always been there only were it problems then and not parts.

Today I have an appointment with my T and the woman who did the testing. I am afraid of the outcome and what it will mean for the therapy. But also for the appointment with two therapists I'm afraid my t will be different to me and that it changes our relationship.

It has become a long story but I had to vent!

Bloem

[CantExplain]

((Bloem))

It is very common for people to fear diagnosis.

[Sistah]

I'd be really nervous too. Good luck. I think it will be good for you to have a definite diagnosis. Get the correct therapy is really important. You don't want to be in therapy all of your life, do you?

[Raging Quiet]

Thinking of you, please let us know how you get on.

I hope it goes well, and i am thinking of you. Try to remember no matter what diagnosis you end up wth, you are still the same person you were before you got the diagnosis. And if you do have a DID diagnosis, thats ok too. Having DID isnt a bad thing. I got diagnosed quite a few years ago. It was a good coping mechanism for us to develop as children. Let us know how your appointment goes today ok.?

[Bloem]

Thanks everyone for the lovely comments!

I was very nervous but the appointment went good.
It was a lot of information but very interesting I have a DID diagnosis the complex PTSD belongs to the DID told the woman. It also came out that I have bipolar disorder type 1 and ADHD but i already knew that. The test also showed that i look stronger than I realy am and that people will not always see how it really goes. My T said she recognized that but that I am getting more open to her and that she can see better how it really is with me.

It's not that I embrace the diagnosis it gives mixed feelings somehow I hoped it was not true. But it's true, I'm still the same person as before. My T was very nice she said, it's nothing new what we hear only has it been given a name now.
She is right....

Bloem

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by Bloem

Thanks everyone for the lovely comments!

I was very nervous but the appointment went good.
It was a lot of information but very interesting I have a DID diagnosis the complex PTSD belongs to the DID told the woman. It also came out that I have bipolar disorder type 1 and ADHD but i already knew that. The test also showed that i look stronger than I realy am and that people will not always see how it really goes. My T said she recognized that but that I am getting more open to her and that she can see better how it really is with me.

It's not that I embrace the diagnosis it gives mixed feelings somehow I hoped it was not true. But it's true, I'm still the same person as before. My T was very nice she said, it's nothing new what we hear only has it been given a name now.
She is right....

Bloem

I'm glad it went well! Do you mind sharing which personality tests you took? I didn't know there was one for DID -just curious.

[Perna]

You might want to remind yourself that how people "outside" an illness, the professionals, describe and try to understand the illness is not the same as your experience of it. I have often suddenly "seen" things in the way someone outside me has described as seeing me and my reaction has always been, "Oh! Is that what they see." It's kind of like the generic warning, "your experience/results may vary" We humans don't fit very neatly into boxes.

[Bloem]

Originally Posted by ultramar

I'm glad it went well! Do you mind sharing which personality tests you took? I didn't know there was one for DID -just curious.

Hai,

I took these tests for DID

-structured clinical interview for dsm-iv dissociative disorders’ (scid-d)(scid-I) (scid-II)
-dissociative experiences scale (des)

And some other personality test

[CantExplain]

But if you don't actually dissociate during the interview, how can they diagnose it?

[Bloem]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

But if you don't actually dissociate during the interview, how can they diagnose it?

I think this interview is done when there are already symptoms of dissociation problems. it is not a standard psychological test it was very specific about dissociation. The other tests were much more general and asked questions in all areas. You also need to write a biography.
I think i have not dissociated during the interview. But the woman does have observed me and noticed certain things as concentration, anxiety, emotions and contact growth between her and me.

You get also questions about symptoms associated with dissociate. One or two weeks later you get a interview about the same questions. It are many questions! If you answers were honest the interview will be consistent with the outcome of the test.

Bloem

[anilam]

Originally Posted by Bloem

Thanks everyone for the lovely comments!

I was very nervous but the appointment went good.
It was a lot of information but very interesting I have a DID diagnosis the complex PTSD belongs to the DID told the woman. It also came out that I have bipolar disorder type 1 and ADHD but i already knew that. The test also showed that i look stronger than I realy am and that people will not always see how it really goes. My T said she recognized that but that I am getting more open to her and that she can see better how it really is with me.

It's not that I embrace the diagnosis it gives mixed feelings somehow I hoped it was not true. But it's true, I'm still the same person as before. My T was very nice she said, it's nothing new what we hear only has it been given a name now.
She is right....

Bloem

I think that's really great that you are able to see it that way. So not how I handled being given a dx, actually it took me over a month to be able to come to terms with it.
Your T sounds great too.