Well I think I hit the nail on the head, that the reason I'm missing T so much right now is that it's Mother's Day. It started this past thursday, I guess subconsciously I was thinking about the "good stuff" that I didn't get from my Mother when growing up and how I do get those things from T (unconditional acceptance, the biggest among them; knowing that I have always been good enough for her to care and want to help me) and it makes me miss the physical her. I suppose this is yet another part of transference eh? While sometimes I feel like I am being a bother to her or things along those lines (which when voiced by me she is always quick to diffuse), I have never once felt like I wasn't good enough for her to care about me. In 50 years I have never been able to say the same of my mother.

Anyway realizations aside, I'm still glad I sent T that email last night, as it can only help talking with her about it. I assume it will lessen as the week progresses anyway and we get farther away from Mothers day. I think I'm going to share this post with T because it explains what I'm feeling better than the email I sent last night. I was tired then I guess haha.

I vote we rename today "People Who Care About Us Day".

Artemis,
This must be so hard not actually seeing your t, especially today

[unaluna]

I second that emotion -ie about renaming the day & always having been good enough for our ts.

[lastyearisblank]

I can relate- my mother chose not to call me back this mothers' day- sometimes parents love us, but they don't love us *enough* or exactly in our own way.

Feeling blue today, but that doesn't mean there isn't love or care out there. It just means that our biological parents can't give us what we need.

NOT a referendum on you!

I understand. I miss my t sooo much, and holidays (especially like mothers day) are so hard.

[minneymouse]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

I vote we rename today "People Who Care About Us Day".

Good plan! In the UK, we colloquially call it 'Mother's day' but on all the calendars etc it is 'Mothering Sunday'. I prefer this, because 'mothering' is a verb rather than a role assigned by accident. My T mothers me in so many ways- profound and small, and we do use Mothering Sunday to acknowledge and celebrate that. This year (UK mother's day is in March) I gave her a card and a present. Sunday is T's day off with no contact, but I got a surprise text from her- it was a photo of her 'mothers day spoils'- her card from me beside her card from her child. My heart was full

I know this pain- hope you feel better as the week goes on

[Solepa]

Originally Posted by minneymouse

Good plan! In the UK, we colloquially call it 'Mother's day' but on all the calendars etc it is 'Mothering Sunday'. I prefer this, because 'mothering' is a verb rather than a role assigned by accident. My T mothers me in so many ways- profound and small, and we do use Mothering Sunday to acknowledge and celebrate that. This year (UK mother's day is in March) I gave her a card and a present. Sunday is T's day off with no contact, but I got a surprise text from her- it was a photo of her 'mothers day spoils'- her card from me beside her card from her child. My heart was full

I know this pain- hope you feel better as the week goes on

WOW that was SO nice of her to do this. I´m very happy for you. I kind of feel good about it in myself because I could never believe T´s can care so much. It is just so lovely.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

sometimes parents love us, but they don't love us *enough* or exactly in our own way.

Wow! That is so true. Madame T tried to tell me that all love is good, but it's not that simple. I have a high threshhold for being loved.