[refika]

So T is on vacation this week, actually part of last week too. 10 days to be exact, not that long, but soooo long if you ask me. I see T next tuesday, 7 days, 7 hours, 19 minutes, but who's counting?

The problem is, this is the FIRST break I had since I started seeing him, nearly 5 months ago. T pulled me out of severe crisis mode and as a result, I've made some major life changes. We talked about T's absence and the last time I saw him, I felt pretty good, like the break would be welcoming and I"ll be fine. We talked about some resources I have, that if things get bad, I could see other T's that fill in for him, or my marriage counselor I see with my H.

Therein lies the problem...today I saw the marriage counselor with my husband. We had a good, but very emotional session (for me anyway). It left me feeling drained and like I REALLY need to see a T for individual help. I was feeling icky before going today, now I feel worse after.

I'm debating scheduling a private session with the marriage counselor later this week, but I really don't want to for a number of reasons. I'm really TRYING to manage until next week, but it's so frustrating and so hard and I just keep flipping back and forth with do I go or not.

UGH!!!! WHY do T's have to go on vacation!!!! Don't they know how much we need them! HOW can they do this to us!!!! (Sorry, just HAD to get that off my chest).

My emotions range from complete abandonment, to anger, to sadness, to frustration, to everything. It doesn't help that I have abandonment issues from my childhood (that T and I started to work to work on).

Thank you for reading, sorry to dump all this here...

[Sunne]

I know how it feels. Vacations are difficult. Hang in there. Hugs.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by refika

So T is on vacation this week, actually part of last week too. 10 days to be exact, not that long, but soooo long if you ask me. I see T next tuesday, 7 days, 7 hours, 19 minutes, but who's counting?

The problem is, this is the FIRST break I had since I started seeing him, nearly 5 months ago. T pulled me out of severe crisis mode and as a result, I've made some major life changes. We talked about T's absence and the last time I saw him, I felt pretty good, like the break would be welcoming and I"ll be fine. We talked about some resources I have, that if things get bad, I could see other T's that fill in for him, or my marriage counselor I see with my H.

Therein lies the problem...today I saw the marriage counselor with my husband. We had a good, but very emotional session (for me anyway). It left me feeling drained and like I REALLY need to see a T for individual help. I was feeling icky before going today, now I feel worse after.
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I'm debating scheduling a private session with the marriage counselor later this week, but I really don't want to for a number of reasons. I'm really TRYING to manage until next week, but it's so frustrating and so hard and I just keep flipping back and forth with do I go or not.

UGH!!!! WHY do T's have to go on vacation!!!! Don't they know how much we need them! HOW can they do this to us!!!! (Sorry, just HAD to get that off my chest).

My emotions range from complete abandonment, to anger, to sadness, to frustration, to everything. It doesn't help that I have abandonment issues from my childhood (that T and I started to work to work on).

Thank you for reading, sorry to dump all this here...

Greetings
For me, the best thing to do is keep busy. Keeping busy will keep your mind occupied...been there:-)
Remember....T's need a break,too...this way they can b their best for us:-)

[Tamster]

OMG! T on vacation the first time is the worst, even if they tell you it is coming. I always had a crisis and didn't think I would make it. The first few times they would have to schedule me to come in to see him the day he came back. After awhile I got stronger and more courageous . As I improved my dealing with it did to and found ways around my axiety.. we worked on it alot!!

[Willowleaf]

Mine is away too and back same time as yours. It's horrible isn't it. She left me a card that says moment by moment. Don't worry about the rest of day or week, just do things moment by moment.
I am getting better at coping, now I tend to fall apart on her return rather than during her absence. The first time was the worse for me. Hang on in there. He will return.

Having your t be gone is rough. Sorry its hard,

[refika]

Originally Posted by Willowleaf

Mine is away too and back same time as yours. It's horrible isn't it. She left me a card that says moment by moment. Don't worry about the rest of day or week, just do things moment by moment.
I am getting better at coping, now I tend to fall apart on her return rather than during her absence. The first time was the worse for me. Hang on in there. He will return.

I noticed many T's are away this time...I wonder if there's some super secret special "T Convention" going on that they all go to this time of year...

[Willowleaf]

I love the thought of a secret t convention. It made me smile! How you doing? I'm holding up and doing all the things I know are healthy which is unusual for me. If you want to you are welcome to pm me if you want a moan or a shoulder to cry on

[anilam]

Are you MT and you H OK with you having an individual session with him?
Many wouldn't be.
Guess it depends on how emotional you are (i.e. can you deal with it alone without ANY harm?) If it is stg that can wait, I'd recommend waiting for your T. If not, please, reach out. Is one of the crucial caring strategies most of us need to learn anyway- asking for help when we need it.

[refika]

Originally Posted by anilam

Are you MT and you H OK with you having an individual session with him?
Many wouldn't be.
Guess it depends on how emotional you are (i.e. can you deal with it alone without ANY harm?) If it is stg that can wait, I'd recommend waiting for your T. If not, please, reach out. Is one of the crucial caring strategies most of us need to learn anyway- asking for help when we need it.

Thank you for all the supportive replies. Right now, I'm doing okay. Yesterday was real rough and if it wasn't after hours, I would have called my MT for an emergency session. I remembered some of the things my regular T told me (like feelings are like waves in an ocean and they will pass) and managed to watch "So you think you can dance" which took my mind off things until bedtime.

Today, I'm doing pretty good (so far) and actually feeling proud of myself for making it another day. Though I think being super angry at my T and cursing him out every second is helping LOL

Fortunately, my T knew how difficult this break would be since abandonment issues are one of my problems. He talked to my MT ahead of time to see if an emergency session would be acceptable. I told my H that I may need to see the MT on an emergency while my regular T was away. H was okay with it, though felt bad that I needed to turn to a therapist and not him. (Hence one of the reasons we are IN marriage counseling).

Honestly, as much as I like my MT, I don't want to go to him for any individual help (even in an emergency) because I don't want to mix up individual and marriage counseling. Not to mention, I only worked with my MT 2x and he knows only the "basics" of me and my issues outside of my marriage problems so I kind of feel like if I go to him and start talking, he'll be completely lost.

So....for now I'm trying to keep as busy as I can, for the next 5 days, 13 hours, and 3 minutes until I see T. I'm catching up on movies, tv shows, laundry, work. LOL It's hard as can be though, and I HOPE it gets easier because T told me he goes away at least 3-4 times a year. UGH!!