[rainboots87]

I'm putting this here, because my relationship with my mother is something that comes up repeatedly in therapy. Also, my T's are mothers of young children, which is something I've been envious of. I just got on facebook and have been bombarded by people's mother's day messages about their own mothers or from my friends who are new mothers, and it just left me feeling kinda down. My mother is not an awful woman and she does care about me, but she goes about it all wrong. Plus she grew up in another country and culture, which leads to many clashes between us because she just doesn't get how things are here. She can also be volatile, so I tend to keep things from her and try to avoid much contact except for what I feel obligated to do. Seeing so many messages about how much people love and adore their mothers makes me feel strange, because I don't have that kind of relationship with mine. Any ideas on what I could do? The semester is over so there's not anything to study, my roomie is out of town for the week, and I don't like my town, which is why I'm moving in a couple weeks. I'm not sure what to do with these feelings and how to handle my time alone.

[precious things]

If you feel up to it, how about writing a letter to your future children on what kind of mother you would like to see yourself as someday?

[BonnieJean]

I know what you mean about all this mother's day sentiment all over the place. It has been a bummer today. I did my volunteer work which helped me get out of it for a while. Maybe you could take a walk or get caught up in a good book. What do you usually do when you have this kind of time?

[ScrewedUpMe]

Originally Posted by precious things

If you feel up to it, how about writing a letter to your future children on what kind of mother you would like to see yourself as someday?

What a great idea!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

My mother is not an awful woman and she does care about me, but she goes about it all wrong. Plus she grew up in another country and culture, which leads to many clashes between us because she just doesn't get how things are here. She can also be volatile.

After years of therapy, this is pretty much how I see my own mother.

[Luce]

This here helped me:

I am not sure if we are allowed to post links or not. So google 'in-case-mother's-day-is-hard-for-you'. Look for the one by hopeful world .org.

[nessaea]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

I just got on facebook and have been bombarded by people's mother's day messages about their own mothers or from my friends who are new mothers, and it just left me feeling kinda down. My mother is not an awful woman and she does care about me, but she goes about it all wrong.

I can totally relate to that. *hugs* I was on Facebook for about 5 minutes before I couldn't handle it anymore, and stayed off the rest of the day. I love my mom, and she's a good person, but she wasn't always the greatest mother, at least to me. I know she cares about me, but her caring is very self-centered, and very narrowly focused, and it makes things pretty difficult. So, Mother's Day is always really hard.

I hope you got through it ok, and know that there are people out there who understand! *more hugs*

[rainboots87]

Thanks, I will check out that link right now. And the letter idea sounds good too Now what I'm dreading is moving in a couple weeks. I was delaying my move so I could move right into my new place in June, without any downtime at my parents' place after my semester ended recently. But it turns out my mom is having her vacation time the week I'm planning to move, so I'll have to be in the car with her for 2 days of driving- ugh. I can't change plans now, because I have a friend who already bought a plane ticket to visit me just a few days before the planned move. I'll really need strength to handle that much time in car with just her. My dad will be driving their car separately with more of my stuff.